Step 1: Laying out the traces
So here is the second attempt. The first one worked, which you can just see on the right edge of the bottle, but it was even uglier than this one, so I decided to make a nicer one and take a couple of pics during the process.
I melted a couple of holes for the header, then soldered it in. Next I dotted holes to accept an smt LED and resistor. After dotting these holes, I went back with the soldering iron to add a good blob of solder by hanging a bead over them. Then I soldered some wrapping wire between these "tinned pads."