During an apocalypse, the last thing anyone is thinking about is Granny. Every Fn sucker for themselves. Sure, she survived the Great Depression, the Disco Era, weathered the stock market crash but she'll come out of this one kicking too. No need to worry about Granny because she is prepared. Two side mounted RPG rocket launchers will keep hordes of zombies or looters at bay. We know they are all after her secret chicken soup recipe which is the universal antidote for all things evil. And if they get too close, light em up with the bottom mounted South African Beemer Blaster (BMW flamethrower).
What, no apocalypse coming? Use this as an everyday shopping cart for those trips to the market. That was the last bottle of prune juice left in the store?...MOLON LABE, Sonny. And don't forget the senior discount.
Plenty of room in the cart to carry spares to lock and load. Just leave space to haul that can of LOX and some heavy water.
NOTE: Calm down. This is a prop. And I wouldn't leave Granny to fend for herself, the brat, maybe. Sheesh.
SPECIAL NOTE: Blue color is used to indicate inert or inoperative ordnance. Orange tips on firearms are used to indicate "play or toy" weapons/replicas. Not for use under conditions where the unsuspecting public will alert the authorities for any suspicious activity. Remember, always buy fresh from a trusted arms dealer.
Step 1: Start With the Paperwork...
RPG Rocket Launchers are ubiquitous in the world and are a weapon of choice for any rebel, freedom fighter or apocalypse survivor.
Depending on your interpretation of the 2nd Amendment, every person should be able to bear 2 rocket launchers. They aren't that heavy, well, you get used to the weight. And in an apocalypse situation and open market, in God we trust, all others pay cash. Obviously an ordinary citizen would not have access to these fine pieces of machinery. So you have to DIY it.
Because this is a smaller granny cart, yes, the Queen Elizabeth II ocean cruiser model can haul a -monthlong- weekend load of dorm laundry, we will need to make some sweet custom sawed-off RPG rocket launchers.
This was just papier mache and other random spare bits of stuff lying around the house.
You need cardboard newspaper or other scrap paper, glue, paint and a granny cart or equivalent, shopping carts are hackable too...
I also had some other bits and pieces left over from working on the house that I will use too.
Do I really have to bore you with all the details? Ok, click on next.
Step 2: Improvise...
Cardboard is great as a building material to block out your project.
We need to create the framework for the general shape of the RPG and cover it with papier mache to smooth out the surfaces. Start out by making the rocket propelled grenades first.
You can form strong tubes by rolling up cardboard and gluing it together. Crease along the corrugations of the cardboard to help it bend. Use masking tape to temporarily clamp or hold the pieces together while the glue sets.
No need to be super accurate with cutting, it all looks good in the end. Unless you are building to scale, don't get too fussy with the measurements.
Use a mixture of half glue and half water to wet the torn pieces of newspaper for the papier mache.
Just keep overlapping pieces and smooth down. Let dry overnight.
You may need to patch or add a second layer for strength.
Step 3: Tie in the Tubes...
Hmm, the RPG grenades look like big Coca-Cola classic bottles.
I had painted the RPG grenades already but you can work on the next step when they have dried. I used a permanent marker to make some permanent markings.
Form the tubes or the rocket launcher part that holds the RPG rocket.
Roll up cardboard to form a snug but loose fit for the rocket stem.
Mock up the rest of the launcher.
This custom RPG launcher will have only one handle and will be connected by cable to a big pushbutton trigger.
Step 4: Fancy That...
Prime and paint.
You can use dry brushing techniques to get a realistic looking metallic patina or leave as is.
I used some wood grain contact adhesive shelf liner paper for the wood look parts. The uneven edges were covered with a strip of black electrical tape.
The Beemer Blaster flamethrower exhaust manifold was made from empty toilet paper tubes, paper towel tubes and aluminized duct tape.
Cut the paper tubes into mating shapes and cover with the metal tape.
These were made to fit over the spare flexible gas appliance connector I had salvaged. They also come in handy for making a lamp. I had also pieced together some metal cladding pieces from rewiring the house with armor-clad cable. This provides the flexible conduit for our wiring on the granny cart.
Make an additional control ignition box for the flamethrower. Add appropriate gas appliance warning labels.
I wanted this to be easy for Granny to launch the rockets and control the flamethrower so I used some Easy Buttons. Label accordingly and install on control tray that will be attached to the handlebar of the granny cart.
Step 6: Granny Get Yer Gun...
Aim for the toodles.
Actually just turn the cart in the general direction of the advancing horde and press the right or left launch button. That was easy.
To activate the Beemer Blaster gently press the big red button in the middle. That was fun.
For maximum effect, wait until you see the whites of their eyes and let it rip. But don't let them close enough to be able to use the TSA zombie detector wand to confirm they are zombies. Shoot first, ask questions later. Have marshmallows handy.
Optional mounting kit available for walkers. Tax, shipping and handling, professional installation fees not included. Order yours now. Sorry, .stl files are not up yet for 3D printing.
I was going to pimp this ride with those Ben-Hur razor blade chariot wheel hubs but the nice lady at the DMV said they weren't legal to install, too many bicyclists were complaining. Just kidding...about not leaving Granny behind.
Add some cute vanity plates to mark your territory.
Steer clear of anyone with an RPG mounted Granny Cart...or anyone that wheels their pets around in one...