Roasting Someone (for Dummies)!



Posted in PlayPranks-and-humor

Introduction: Roasting Someone (for Dummies)!

About: Go away. Stop stalking me. You're weird.


If you have read my other instructables you would know that I am quite inclined on insulting people.

So here are some tips and tricks on how to roast someone (the new trend!)

With this you would have no problem roasting your friends, although of course you need a friend so I would consider getting on Amazon:

Step 1: Determine Your Roasting Type.

There are two types of people:

1. Analytical roaster: You are great at gathering information from someone and surprise everybody with a huge, lethal roast. These people tend to be slow but calculating as well as being very careful. They are not necessarily dumber but their brains just think things more slowly. (This is me.)

2. Head-on roaster: You are great at roast battles, you think quick but your roasts seldom are better than the above type of roaster. These people tend to think really quick but make more errors than the analytical roaster.

**********Once you determine your type, use it at your advantage (if you are analytical, do not accept a roast battle)***********

Step 2: Roasts to Avoid.


Never say a tri- yo mamma joke. AKA "Yo mamma's so fat, ugly, and stupid..." these jokes tend to be "overboard" and will not achieve a great affect.

Do not over-exaggerate your roasts. AKA "You must have two thousand billion trillion tons of hair gel in your hair" this would be better "You must have a 10 pounds of hair gel in your hair."

********Do not use extra-racist roasts, these tend to be the ones reported to the principal*******

Step 3: Perfecting Your Roasts!

"You must have 20 pounds of hair gel in your hair" is a solid roast, but it must be improved by adding on different pieces.

Start "You must have 20 pounds of hair gel in your hair"


"You must have 20 pounds of hair gel in your hair on your little head"


"You must have 20 pounds of hair gel in your hair on your little stupid head"


End result: "You must have 20 pounds of hair gel in your hair considering your stupid head is so small and hollow"

See how you need to add every little bit of detail?

Step 4: Comebacks!

If you ever get roasted, then your logical step is to roast them back, here are some tips to help you do that!

- If anyone says your (Insert perverted message) is small, then say something like "At least I have one" or "That doesn't matter to much, it's what you do with it!"

- If anyone says you're ugly like (insert remaining roast), then say "You must have thought you were looking at a mirror."

-If anyone says you're dumb like (insert remaining roast), then say "I'm not the one that is getting roasted so bad right now."

-If anyone says you don't have any friends, then say "You only think you have friends because you think your mom is one."

****Of course, these are just some default comebacks for common roasts, you need to come up with some for yourself****

Step 5: All Done!

****************ROAST ME IN THE COMMENTS BELOW:*************



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    No Offense.

    Hey Ploopy! I think I saw one of your AppleScript coding instructables :)

    LOL. I tried your apple script prank on one of my friends, he had no idea was was going on...

    I tried it on my dad but he figured it out on the first dialog box XD.