Rubber Band Powered Sardine Can DESTRUCTO-BOAT

Hello! Today we're going to take a useless Sardine Can and turn it into an awesome, totally unsinkable killing machine! A perfect bath toy for a young child or just someone who wants to build one for fun. Read on through the following steps to build your own terrifying toy boat with stuff just lying around your house!

Note: adult supervision required. If you're under the age of 12, please have a parent help you.

Note: Boat does not have actual destructive properties.

Note: Weapons may be added to enhance enjoyment.

Step 1: Materials List

Before you begin, you'll need to buy the following materials

1x An otherwise useless Sardine Can (Remove the lid, empty the sardines in the trash because they are disgusting, and clean it out.)

2x Popsicle Sticks (I like eating the Popsicles more than I like making this death machine)

2x Plastic Cards (Just use a Crocs gift card. Does anyone actually buy those?)

4x Medium Rubber Bands (Preferably blue. One time I used a blue rubber band to mend a baby birds wing)

Superglue (optional)

Scissors or a Box Cutter

1x A can-do attitude

Step 2: Attach the Popsicle Sticks to the Container (Rubber Band Method Part 1)

There are two ways to add the Popsicle sticks to the container. One way is to use rubber bands. Another way is to use superglue.

We recommend using rubber bands, because it allows you to fix any mistakes in case you mess up. Also you can shoot them at your friends.

If you're using rubber bands, first hold one Popsicle stick on each side of the container with one hand. Make sure each Popsicle stick end is at least halfway along the edge of the container with about two inches sticking past the edge.

Step 3: Rubber Band Method Part 2

Use your other hand to put one rubber band around the container and Popsicle sticks. Stretch, twist and loop the rubber band back over the container back where you first put on the rubber bands. You might have some trouble with this if you aren't very coordinated. Having three hands would make this a lot easier, but you'll manage.

Now let go. If the Popsicle sticks fall off the container, feel bad about how uncoordinated you are, get over it, then loop the rubber bands around the container again, but do it right this time.

Step 4: Attach the Popsicle Sticks to the Container (Super Glue Method)

If you are using Super-Glue: Carefully add some superglue along the last inch of each Popsicle stick. Keep your fingers away from the glue. THIS IS IMPERATIVE. YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS.

Stick each Popsicle stick on opposite sides of the container. Let it sit for a few seconds.

If you happen to get some super-glue on your fingers, don't panic. Actually panic. Super-Glue is impossible to get off your fingers and you will be stuck with it for the rest of your life.

Step 5: Add the Propeller Rubber Bands

Loop two small rubber bands around the ends of the Popsicle sticks. be very, very gentle.

They should be about half an inch from the ends of the two Popsicle sticks and there should only be about a millimeter gap in between them.

Hopefully you do better than I did. I tried to do it and I stretched the rubber bands so hard that they broke and snapped on my wrist. I went to the ER though and they gave me a cute spongebob squarepants band-aid so I'm all good.

Step 6: Insert the Propeller

Now get those plastic cards out.

Using your scissors, cut out one plastic rectangle 1 3/4 inches long and 2 inches wide. Cut out another plastic square 2 inches long and 1 1/4 in wide. Don't cut yourself. Also don't run with scissors. My grandma did that once and ended up with the scissors stuck in her hair. That day will go down in infamy.

Use a knife or a boxcutter to cut a slot 1 1/4 inches wide in the larger rectangle. Slip the 1 1/4 wide rectangle through the slot up until the middle.

Once you have combined the two plastic pieces into the propeller, put it between the two rubber bands at the end of the Popsicle sticks so that it is held in place. The propeller should stay in place, unless you're a complete idiot.

Step 7: Using the Boat

With the plastic propellers attached, rotate the propeller until it is wound up by a fair amount. Usually 10 or 15 rotations will be enough. Use your finger to wind up the big propeller so that you don't bend the smaller propeller. While holding the propeller, set the container down in some water and release. I honestly have no idea what will happen next. It'll probably launch into space and crash into the moon, knocking it out of orbit and dooming the entire human race to extinction.....

Or maybe it will just sink.