SURVIVING AN APOCALYPSE

This Instructable is going to constantly be updated and includes details on how to survive any human race threatening experience.
Presented by J.J. Inc. Apocalypse Shop

Step 1: Disclaimer

Due to the fact that no-one has ever experienced an apocalypse we cannot guarantee this will work, but it is always reassuring to have a plan.

You are also responsible for all of the Vampires, Zombies, and People You Kill

ALWAYS PLAN FIRST!!

Comments

[Wolf Seril]

I am well known for ripping ibles like this to shreds (often to the point of the author taking them down). Because I am getting tired of that, I'll just say this: An instructable like this should be one of two things: either have a lot of theoretically useful information based on real life disasters, or it should be really funny.

[jj.inc]

Any recommendations to make it funnier, that was the goal, but then again it is a little to serious.
But, then again, the goal was more to entertain and inform, give you good survival strategies, while keeping you entertained and happy, it will also help you remember better. Its like a history book entertaining, yet boring and informing.
I also like to tear people down, like green-freaks. Turns out that the whole global warming thing isn't that true. I looked at a very well done experiment and the temp raised a little, but it eventually peeked out. It all seems natural. Coming out of the Ice age was not because some cow had a huge methane fart or a cave man lighting a whole stinking forest on fire.

[mtdna]

I'm with you jj. Scientists may be responsible for modern medicine, space travel, high speed computation, intercontinental air travel, and particle physics, but they are obviously too stupid to measure long term climate trends correctly.

[HarveyH44]

We could use a little of that Global Warming right now... Was always skeptical of the whole warming catastrophe thing. The planet was warmer before the last great ice age, considering all the vegetation (oil fields now) and dinosaurs. CO2 levels must have been higher as well. Seem that things were much better ecologically, in a warmer climate, plants would do much better, cleaner air, abundance of food...

I do believe that, we are a wasteful, and filthy species, and should clean it up, green it up, recycle, and make more responsible use of our resources. But don't think we should be scammed, or forced into it.

[Tool Using Animal]

"The planet was warmer before the last great ice age, considering all the vegetation (oil fields now) and dinosaurs."

You do realize that the "last great ice age" was only 13,000 years ago, whereas the age of dinosaurs ended 65,000,000. Therefore your allusion about the planets climate being warmer based on those two data points is fallacious.

Yes, the planet was, most likely, warmer before the last ice age, and was , most likely, warmer during the age of dinosaurs, however you cannot connect those two data points with a straight line a draw the conclusion that "the planet was warmer".

[HarveyH44]

Why not? Climate Scientists, even Al Gore, draw similar conclusions about CO2 being the cause of all evil. The point, we can only guess at the past and future, yelling loudly, or spending lots of tax dollars, doesn't make it any more factual. What we know is, that plant life loves the warmer climates, CO2, and moisture, indisputable facts. Oil comes from decayed organic matter, and is very high in Carbon. We can't tell what killed all the organic material, that made all the oil, the we burn, releasing CO2, that was once free in the environment, to be consumed by organisms. I have doubts about the warming being bad, man-made, or that we could possibly alter the course, and whether it would even be a good thing. Things don't seem to be all that fantastic, why would we want it all to stay the same. We've tried for hundreds of years, to predict the weather, and fail. How are we to believe the scientist know factually, what they are selling? The past several decades, research science has take an unfortunate turn. Seems like the guys with the grant money, also supply the conclusion to the research, the scientists work out the rest, fact or not. A little backward from the way I was taught...

[tincanz]

Ancient plant life may love heat, but modern plants have evolved to be suited to the conditions that they experience now. Plus, only very few plants, ancient or modern, can stand drought to the extent that most inland areas will experience in a few centuries.

[Vyger]

I always find it funny that its usually city orientated people who think that they are going to have to kill off everyone and protect what is left of their turf. It should be a requirement for any writer who wants to write any kind of disaster script that then spend a year living on a ranch or farm in a rural area. That is where you learn survival.
Any rancher will tell you the most important thing is to protect the breeding stock. Face it, any recovery of population is going to require that every female that is fertile bear as many children as possible. Forget women's lib, or any of those ideas, the main purpose of women will be to raise as many viable children as possible. And no body kills off the breeding stock. Repress and control them, you bet, if they don't cooperate, its for the good of humanity.
Next, the idea that every neighbor is an enemy is ridiculous. Every population in history has been successful because of cooperation with the individuals. "No man is an island" would never be truer than under these circumstances. Community cooperation is what makes it possible to have a civilization. Neighbors work together for the common good of the survivors. Evolution doesn't work, survival of the fittest does not create communities and civilizations. People working together is the only thing that ever works. If you try killing everyone that wanders by, you will be the first to be eliminated, period. Survival will be of the most civilized and cooperative people. So if you haven't learned it yet maybe now is the time to start.

[tincanz]

Very well said. People need to work together. With cooperation, crucial knowledge of farming, blacksmithing and bloomsmithing, medicine, writing, and sciences can be preserved. That way, humans stand a much better chance of surviving.

[repear9]

You are most certainly right, people need to stop fighting over city turf, which is practically useless in terms of food and water, without water you aren't going to survive long.

Awe inspiring comment vyger...

[jj.inc]

Yes, You have a very good point, but just so you know I live on a farm/ranch in a tiny little town in colorado.
:)
My town has some people you wouldn't want around though, you have slackers, and druggies and it would be best not to go around picking up random strangers.

[Vyger]

On a bright note Colorado repealed or vacated the rain barrel law so now you can collect the rain water from you roof without fear of the law.
I live outside a small town in Montana, on an Indian Reservation. Now these people are the original survivors, they wandered all over the plains. But their culture has declined so much that I don't think many of them would survive a small crisis. A large number of them are alcoholics, they have drug problems and domestic abuse is pretty widespread among them. Their life span is about 20 years less than everyone else as a result. Some populations just can't survive under stress. Chances are very good that those populations would disappear very quickly. I personally would hate to be in a big city when the grocery trucks stop coming in every day. But there have been instances of that happening just in recent years. Sarajevo is a classic example. That was a large metropolitan city, they hosted the Olympics in 1984, but the war there cut the city off. They had a hard time surviving. They burnt up furniture in the winter for heat. But in the end most of the people survived in spite of being shot at on a daily basis. Combatants kill each other and disappear. That finally leaves the civilized people to take over and start again. At least that's how it has happened down through history.

[the doctor who]

a boy scout is o ways prepared

[brendonl]

Nice Instructable buddy, I can think of so many power sources for the electric fence, Why not just party before it ends, if it does.
My party event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=113539715388726

[wazupwiop]

I think that an apocalypse, if one ever occurs, will be brought about either through some sort of disease or world-wide catastrophic event, not zombies or vampires.

[jj.inc]

Yea, but its more reassuring to expect something fightable.