Poinsettia cocktails (cranberry juice, triple sec, and champagne) are far too risky with a bunch of sloshy drunks wandering around the house and over-gesturing the important points of just how crazy drivers are nowadays.

To be fair, I have seen some crazy drivers and really like to emphasize just how crazy they are. For instance, I once saw a man exiting the interstate with a phone in one hand, an ice cream cone in another, and a map splayed out across the steering wheel. Now that leaves me incredibly confused because at some point he bought an ice cream cone and entered onto the interstate, and the previous exit was 5 miles back. However, I know there are no ice cream cones at that exit, which leaves the exit previous to that, and that exit is 10 miles back. Don't get me wrong - I've tried to eat an ice cream cone while driving, but if I had no idea where I was going, that thing would be eaten! So did he just eat ice cream cones very slowly? Did he actually live at the previous exit and make a cone for the road before leaving his home? Was he just an incredibly fast driver? At any point did he take a good look at his situation? These are things I want to know.

Anyway, back on topic...

To preserve your furnishings and serve a delicious drink, try this one. It's fast, simple, and sure to get everyone tanked.