Solution: Cooling station built from supplies on hand.
What you need:
Standard USB cable or device with USB connector that you can salvage.
Old computer fan
Garden planter holder thingy (The white thing that serves as the platform)
Soldering iron and solder (optional)
Heat shrink or electrical tape
How to make it!
1. Strip the ends of the red and black wires coming out of your fan and your USB cable
2. Solder or twist and tape the wires together
3. Cable tie it to your platform through the original screw holes in the fan bracket and snip the excess off of the cable ties.
4. Plug it in to a USB port and set your computer on top of your platform
5. Enjoy your new, cooler computer