Survival: The Inevitible Zombie Attack.

With current medical research continuing at alarming rates it seems to be inevitible that someday there will be an outbreak of some crazy virus that will cause the dead to rise and the living to be fodder for the ravenous hoard of undead. What will you do on Z -day? Head for the hills or stage dive into a crowd of awaiting zombies? For those of you who want to go out with a bang, I suggest reading on.

Step 1: Day 1

The infection starts. If your lucky you hear about it on the TV before you notice your neighbor lumbering around his yard, gnawing on his own hand. The first thing you must do is size up your opponent. Are they fast zombies that can run as fast or faster than you? Or are they the Shawn of the Dead comically slow zombies? If they are fast zombies I would say you are screwed, but being they are deteriorating reanimated bodies, I will assume they are slow zombies. Now you need to determine what is the game plan.

Comments

[tech hamster1101]

on step 3:U MADE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[K-Note72]

how about perry mason by ozzy?

[K-Note72]

In my situation, buck knives are plentiful (as well as axes and farming equipment, man my house was dangerous as a kid Xp). We carry a basic supply of: a couple shotguns, but shells are large and limit carrying capacity; hunting rifles with scopes, moderate ammo capacity and have great range of fire for delaying impending hordes; .22 target-shooting rifles, vast ammo capacity but small caliber so well-placed shots are needed. Of course all of these make noise and attract attention, but the 22 is quietest & is only audible at up to a mile in forested landscape. Silencers can be made simple, but only specially-made military-grade ones are a quiet POP POP POP like in the movies, general silencers just limit the loud BANG and lessen the audible range. Of all guns, the .22 is quietest and effective with good shots (if you're a bad shot, just dont even carry a gun). Guns themselves though should take a backseat to quiet hand weapons and only be used if spotted by a horde.

[K-Note72]

My lil V8 pickup gets 21mpg and its a great offroader. Remember, the roads in or near the cities will be flooded with cars from people bottlenecking out of the city, so the only usable motor vehicles will be light 4x4 trucks/SUV's or motorcycles. When considering lone survival or fuel consumption, the motorcycle would be best choice. Just remember that it cant carry much extra fuel, and most often its louder than most small trucks.

[K-Note72]

Why does everyone stay in the city? I live in the country, and our area is perfect for warding off an attack or avoiding an impending one.

[JamesTB13]

Come on guys, Eye of the Tiger, everyone has to agree with Mr.Cool. Or, maybe, 10,000 fists in the air, can't remember who it's by, sorry.

[TimmyMiller]

it is by "disturbed" isn't it.

p.s. great song although i can't really remember the words

[That One Eegit]

you left out warpaint and a bandanna. Gotta look cool while doing it!

[xinistrom]

what if....... you walk around pretending to be a zombie? how would they tell you apart?

[ghostrider2]

believe it or not, gaveyards are safer.  if the virus does reach the bodies, they still have a coffin and 6 feet of dirt to get through, and they only have normal human strength to do it with anyways.  the true zombie does not have super human power.

[Sgt Niesen]

9 ft. accualy

[gripofdeath3]

maybe but they also dont fell pain or need air...I think so in that sense they could still get out it would just take longer

[The ironman]

the perfectzombie killing song is thriller

[nfk11]

yeah eye of the tiger would be great.wile you kill zombis i an play eye of the tiger on my guitar.

[mr. cool 384]

eye of a tiger perfect for a zombie slaughter montage

[Jimpiedepimpie]

What about what ive done?

[klingonprins]

blah linkin park. what ive done is their only good song, and i'd prefer something like rammstein or heavy metal, always gives me more energy.

[Jimpiedepimpie]

What about ''Kill the zombies by shooting them in the head'
Kinds fitting isnt it? might save some lives from close survivors. With a useful tip.
Or else what about GET TO THE CHOPPER!
Maybe the thiz iz zpartah remix thingeh.
Yeh. Rlly.
THIZ IZ ZPARTAH

[mr. cool 384]

that would be fine to there are so many

[Jimpiedepimpie]

What about the song that go's like
Its in your heeaad in yar heaad ZOMBEH ZOMBEH EH EH EH
I find it kinda fitting.

[thefoodman]

agreed

[Millawi Legend]

Seconded.

[gripofdeath3]

also if you are going to use meele weapons use an ax, steel bat, hammer, shovle or anything longer than a knife.

[davison112]

I cant sing "lucy in the sky with diamonds" on beatles rockband, without choking on laughter...

[davison112]

lol, i was about to agree with this comment ^^^^^
but then i realized, I POSTED IT! i noticed it to late though.......

[klingonprins]

win. just win.

[Katthe]

Just As You Imagined by Nine Inch Nails, my personal favourite for killing.

[bringontheonslaught]

me and my friend have been planning for four years and this plan can allow us to survive a while. We wouldn't have done all that planning for nothing. so to all of you none-believers, good bloody luck!

[ghostrider2]

appartment buildings might be safer.  zombies cant climb, so if you destroy the stairs from the first floor, and stop the elevator on one of the upper floors, you eliminate the possibility of them following you upstairs.

[netbus]

But then you are stuck upstairs, wise guy! But I o agree that buildings are safer. A tent is useless... I would suggest barricading somewhere, then somehow finding a group to help you survive and only then to find a nice place at the wild to live in - make sure that there is always someone to stay awake while you sleep.

[Rokko8652]

Yea, you can jump down the broken stairs, and you may be able to find a ladder, if yuo are lucky.

[PyroTeen213]

dude we're zombies food as long as people are alive zombies are alive

[netbus]

Lolz my girl is scary... They will all re-die if she will show up! XD

[netbus]

Everyone have their own patch of survival. Some work, some don't. You monster truck won't work. Dude, the outbreak is here! There is NO fuel! consider a simple car, with a bicycle on top of it. Fill it with fuel and supplies, and as soon as you're out of fuel, get on your backup bicycle.

[JamesTB13]

Get to the stores before other bands of people fortify them! It's a bad idea to fortify a store anyway, but people panic and hole themselves up anywhere. Also, zombies have limited vocal capabilities, but essentially normal hearing and smelling. So don't worry, if you're in a building with infected, they won't be able to smell you out like a wolf.

[JamesTB13]

Actually, considering that the virus overtaking the brain is only determined on spreading itself, raiding gun shops would, in fact, be easy. Zombies have no problem solving skills. They could be waist-deep in fully loaded Glock 18's and they would just keep walking towards you, wanting to bite. Zombies don't kill, they infect. The reason is that zombies aren't actually dead. Just infected with a virus that strips away any memories and reasoning. An interesting book for this, although not quite zombies, is 'Cell', by Stephen King.

[AwesomeOpossum]

No offense, but it'll never happen. Once ur dead your brain cells die and than your neurons die and ur flesh and cells. Once the brain is dead, there's nothing to send messages to neurons. Viruses also are not living. They are made mainly of protein, and are not prokaryotic cellsike bacteria. (They have no DNA or nucleus) It's a. Entertaining guide and all but lacks all facts of reality. The common cold isn't going to raise Abraham Lincoln from the dead and give him a craving for flesh.

[JamesTB13]

That's the one zombie thing I can't stand, re-animation. I can completely understand if some super-virus leaks out of some test facility and takes over the people's bodies, but, if it's dead, it's dead.

[ex89158]

And that is EXACTLY what the zombies want you to think, but disciplined logical analysis proves that you are wrong. Consider this, Poindexter, If there was not going to be a zombie apocalypse, why would you try so hard to convince us otherwise? Only someone who knew they were lying would go to the effort to defend their beliefs. Ha! Gotcha! But the most definitive proof that zombies are real is the fact that we have seen them in movies. They could not show them in movies if they were not real now could they? You can't argue with logic and facts!

[Sgt Niesen]

ever hear that most movies are fake?

[Atlas22]

maybe some guy had a dream of  a virus and sayed "Hay! Thats a good movie idea! Ill make millions..." Life revolves around money.

[Turtleholmes]

DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT. I'm prepared.

[Kevio bro]

Really? It's never gonna happen? Omg the worlds a lie now

[The 11 year old kid]

gesse ur a sientist or something

[ghostrider2]

whn it comes to a zombie invasion, sometimes smaller and lightweight is better.  i suggest a motorcycle with attached trailer for supplies and fuel.  it can make it easier through crowded streets, and the trailer can be easily removed for a quick getaway.

[ghostrider2]

your neighbor gnawing on his hand could just be him eating one of halifax senior centers special pancakes on breakfast bingo, though(see picnicfaces bingo comercial)

[nutsandbolts_64]

the pic in step 4. is that a part of a movie? If so, what movie?

[ph1lt3ch]

 Shawn of the Dead, it's awesome.

[nutsandbolts_64]

gotta watch that

[Deadx123]

NEVER BE AFRAID OF ZOMBIES.... unless its chuck norris or micheal jackson if its micheal, your gonna be raped if its chuck norris we're all screwed

[L_L_L_L23]

If you see Chuck Norris zombie your dead. He can roundhouse kick you yesterday.

[Atlas22]

LOL Chuck Norris died 5 years ago, but death didn't have the courage to tell him.

[Cruncher123]

If Bruce Lee came and fused with Chuck Norris....Oh god....oh god......

[boblovespie]

no if its michel we will all be analy but raped and if its chuck well get aour asses kicked lol

[thefoodman]

What if Micheal and Chuck fused.    =0

[Bartboy]

If it's Chuck Norris, our asses will kick themselves.

[Atlas22]

Michal Jakson already died... were already in danger!!!!

[ghostrider2]

michal jackson looked like a zombie before he died, so i would say we are totally screwed.

[The Jamalam]

So either way our asses are screwed.

[Kryptonite]

Sad, but true.

[Sgt Niesen]

not as Sgt. Niesen says so Chuck Norris lives in my town and I have seen him eating lunch and at the libraiy

[rubytorch]

id go revolution or some bethoven song while bashing heads

[L_L_L_L23]

lol killing zombies to Beethoven.  I should make that a video.

[abadfart]

i think ill use a diesel truck with a topper and CB radio because they will run on anything flammable than an AR-15 seeing as how it uses the same ammo as an M-16 which will be plentiful in the USA seeing as how the army uses it then for food i will get anything in cans or MREs.  your fortification should be strong with very few thins in the way so you can pick them off from your roof.  

[fancypenguin845]

too many people will slow you down. if you must, only take one companion along. dont get too attached, if they are bitten, youre gonna have to kill them to save yourself

[granzolas]

well if we get better tech then peeps will want to bring dead peeps back to life and an experiment could go horrably wrong and there could be a irus

[Atlas22]

hell, cank up the heavy meatal zombe head bashing brain grinding death killing songs!!!!!

[Atlas22]

ill get out with my battleaxe(was hard to get...) and kick their Godless butts!

[Chickencharger]

(ur bloods not flowing because death is when your heart does not pump blood anymore and it is not able to be fixed in time)

[Chickencharger]

and one more thing, unless u die of old age, your brain is alive for a minute or a few after ur blood has stopped flowing and that crap(when u died). Of course unless carved or shot a bullseye in your forehead...then i guess u could count on being completely dead.

[Chickencharger]

also awesome opossum is right. It would defy more scientifac laws than i could count for something to die and come back to life. And technically viruses and such sort of are protein and that crap, but theyre also unicelled creatures, part of the bacterial familias, classes, etc. Man i love being the smartest 12 year old on the planet.

[Chickencharger]

by the way if youre wondering they stopped killing the wolves after that scientist's discovery.

[Chickencharger]

wow...ex u r quite the moron. have u ever heard of how the story of werewolves went? They made horror movies about werewolves WAY back when, then ppl rebelled against regular wolves. wolves were shot and killed on sight, pointlessly and out of stupidity. but still for a reason. They were even shot from helicopters for gods sake! eventually they sent a scientist(i forgot his name)to approach the wolves. When the scientist approached a pack, one of the wolves approached him, sniffed him, and ran away. After that we have the problem of the endangered wolf populations. So ex, this proves u wrong. Man humanity thinks theyre so great and smart. True, they are somewhat smart...usually...but on being great, not so much. Its as if the creation of humans was god making pies of poop with brains that could move around and manipulate things with these suddenly new "hands".

[Chickencharger]

repopulate the earth hm? u dont get dis stuff do u.

[Chickencharger]

In a zombie attack, grab a vehicle for atleast trnasportation. afterwards u can find something a lil bigger and go have a hissy fit with a semi truck.

Big truck+zombie apocalypse+survivor= squishety squash

also u can find pet stores, allowing u to rope, strap, or muzzle those stupid zombeh mouths shut. And afterwards u can break their arms, leev their legs cuz their nawt smart enough to kick.

[teslafan100]

That's like that metallica music video.

[thartaros]

stay away from stores at first!! a lot of people are thinking that they're the only ones that are gonna hole up/raid a store.

[thartaros]

get one of those big ol' harley cruisers so you can carry supplies and extra fuel, while still getting decent mileage, and weld or otherwise install some rebar or something to the sides to make a kind of rollcage for some protection should any zombie decide to eat your braaaaaaaains!

[RedFlash]

When the invasion has begun, nothing will last forever, not even us! So when the living dead decide to move in, they are serious and will last forever (eternity).
So the best thing to do is prepare some "poison pills" or a gun and when they come knocking on your door, do as much damage as you can to the zombies then turn the gun on yourself.

P.S. Play the game "desolation" search for it Here

[tincanz]

desolation super scary i guess i would never make it in a zombie outbreak

[RedFlash]

Nah, not for the faint hearted

[Capt. Kidd]

sorry, but never play desolation, there is a dark room, and when you look around a bit, a freakin' zombie pops out of nowhere. freakin' creepy.

[Fred the Penguin]

my zombie busting theme music would be devour and sound or madness by shinedown-EPIC TRACKS!

[minipancho94]

a good zompocalypse plan should be a decent survial plan for most emergenciesgive or take a few things like heading uo to alaska or antartica to survive my plan is grab a truck loot a gun store loot the local vons after grabbing my friends grab survivors and start a convoy head to military base or private airport and head for alaska or antartica get as far as possible before ditching plans in field for in middle of no were location build fort survie build farming area then nukes to clear out major cities like newyork after we get resources or to blow up fort if it gets over-run

[Colonel88]

lolz Half-Life 2 Zombie. I suggest putting up a list of melee weapons. GOLD CLUB!!!

[~Aeronous~]

gold club? or GOLF CLUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F YEAH THATS MY favourtite since its easy to smash the skull

[jabbathegut1]

ghost busters song.

[aerinthaare]

lol his shirt says "I GOT WOOD" lmao, i'm pretty sure that's an inuendo

[RedneckAsian]

in-ur-end-o

[BoondockSaint]

There is a fuel additive called Sta-bil that you can purchase that makes fuel last at most 12 months.

[bounty1012]

oh and zombies cant climb ladders :D

[bounty1012]

half life ftw

[LoganTheBorg]

OK I'm prepared for the zombies but what about the aliens?

[Mandalore23]

Frontline by Pillar is also good!

[Mandalore23]

Just get a tank!

[lop145]

i think zomies would be blind (decaying eyes and stuff). so maybe hey can hear you(if their ears are still intact). if thats the case then it would be a 100 times easyer to kill them right? i know my english sucks thats cuz im 13 and dutch.

[monkeyboy222]

i thought it was very interesting guide and i have a plan for z day of my own i might have to post mine :P thhanks for keeping the hope alive shadymilkman

[hydra55]

that thing whould flip easy

[allureoftheearth]

nice half life picture

[finnster]

half life, counterstrike source, and garry's mod

[allureoftheearth]

gary's mod is neat. i heard that you can make the g-man look like borat.

[xwx]

GARRYSMOD ROCKS!!!! ITS THE BEST GAME!!!!! :O

[peach_fart]

not surprising. butthurter made a gamemode where you have sex with combine.

[peach_fart]

yeah, if you listen you can hear them say"YABBA!!! MY ICING!!!"

[Kevio bro]

they also say "help me, oh god help me"

[allureoftheearth]

hah. i gotta check that out

[peach_fart]

and its only in hl2

[peach_fart]

you cant let it see you though

[allureoftheearth]

ok. friend told me about a mod that makes the g-man look like borat.

[nmw4825]

oh my god, lennon zombie!!!

[Drew956]

Hahaha..... HA! OMG IT'S JOHN LENNON!! ..... Wait don't go greet him yet... ..... OMG RUN!!! IT'S A JOHN LENNON ZOMBIE!!!!

[nmw4825]

I love you Lennon zombie!

[xwx]

Evrybody loves the lennon zombie!

[NinjaSloth]

Wow just "imagine" a lennon zombie...lol (I hope atleast 1 person out there caught that)

[xwx]

Jeeze...it would take a really tough person to kill that one... or a blind/deaf person....

[FaqMan]

If a invasion happens (2012) thank god I read this. And best of luck to all on z-invasions.

[RedneckAsian]

(removed by author or community request)

[FaqMan]

I know that happen i'm just saying that because many believe that is the date for a world catastrophe.

[JJrulz]

cool instructable i liked it. and here i was thinking i was the only one who thought of this. i also have a plan for if i suddenly become homeless. a few comments, first i love the cigarette idea, using them for trading and such. also my zombie head-smashing music would probably be acdc thunderstruck, back in black that stuff. on weapons i think i would have quite a few uses for napalm. many recipes, all of them simple with easily avaliable ingredients. possibly a ninja sword aswell...i just got a great idea for a napalm coated flaming ninja sword....

[peach_fart]

in case you didnt know, you can make napalm by dissolving styrofoam in gasoline.

[firesketch]

Oooh, really? Evil thoughts... evil thoughts!

[NinjaSloth]

you can also make napalm out of double boiled gasoline and soap shavings...you didn't hear that from me...peachfart said it!

[Notbob]

The biggest problem with napalming zombies, is that you run the risk of lighting your shelter on fire, and it doesn't necessarily mean a quick kill. Remember you want to drop a zombie as quick as possible.

[Notbob]

Fire should only be used to dispose of the bodies, once they are un-undead.

[corey_caffeine]

a heavy metal spike through the skull is the ideal weapon

[Notbob]

its the ideal weapon... not really, as you would need to be up close and personal with the undead to use it. It would be fine for confirming a kill.... if you say, have removed of its limbs already. But your better of just smashing the zombie in the head with the hammer. Now, if it were a vampire zombie.... it would work, assuming the spike was stuck into the heart, but if it were vamp. zombies, we would be screwed anyways.

[Fizzxwizz]

lol, smart car!

[mazeka.14]

shady you should watch I am legend its a wicked movie :)

[mazeka.14]

do you have an ible on how to make that car??

[mark0302]

no its rob Zombie

[turnerfromdh]

i think it would be good to have a really good moped i mean some get over 100 mpg and can be pretty powerful and fast

[cowscankill]

Hey! I have G-mod, CS:S, and HL2. PM me if you want to get on sometime.

[mad magoo]

On the note of zombie-fighting weapons; I would definitely call dibs on our pressure washer (converted easily and cheaply to easily made hydrogen, of course). At close range, a pressure washer could nigh on decapitate a zombie. So I would load up the car with the pressure washer, my surplus (i.e. cheap) hydrogen tanks, other assorted free-and abundant-ammo-weapons (slingshots, bows, etc.), and one copy each of great sustainable-energy books written by Steven E. Harris, and Roy Mcalister (books can be found at Knowledgepublications .com) and drive out to my uncle's house at an undisclosed rural location, where he and his family have a huge barn full of tools and equipment, plenty of cows and other sources of food, and tons of space for our off-the-grid energy generating devices. Sorry about the long comment. Now go get prepared for the zombie outbreak! P.S., My zombie-killing music would probably be the four albums of Flogging Molly, maybe a little bit o' Caesars, and some ACDC.

[nibbler125]

i think you should have a chainsaw too just make sure you got plenty of gas

[crimson sausage]

I hate zombies yes I do! I kill old and I kill new! If you hate zombies and wanna kill some, check out deadfrontier.com! sound off...

[gamefreak171]

my most powerful weapon is telekinesis...

[kimro]

I think the best weapon i have in my arsenal is my high powered recaragabul battery driven airsoft gun that i moded so that it was charged by shaking it and now can fire anything that fits in the barrel

[Camisado]

Very nice! And you could add slingshots to the weapons section. Their ammos are cheap as dirt, and for easy-to-get weapons, they're quite powerful, and can even kill when enough force is used.

[fancypenguin845]

thank you. seeing as i am a zombie, i now know exactly how to find you and eat your brains and other assorted internal organs. see you on z-day!!! (which by the way happens to be next tuesday.)

[el hersh]

this makes me realize how vunerable i am to an undead barage, although i do have a plethera of club like objects that would greatly assist me in my smash fest if the need arise( lacrose sticks, guitars, stapel removers, ect.) thank you for the eye opening experance. P.S. you will definatly be in my post -day rebel army!

[mcwillie]

during a zombie attack, a field is the worst place to go it would be super easy to become surrounded go to some place with a narrow opening so you can fight them one on one (i've been considering this for awhile)

[lenzywize]

I'm so glad other people think of this as much as I do. Thanks for the tips!

[killerjackalope]

You know what's funny, some portion of my spare time is spent considering this and other things when bored, the nice bit is that I'll be fully prepared, also having mutliple means of transport and a safe place pre-existing is handy... along with that my street is empty, creating a safer environment for the planning of escape, there's only one way in, the road you can see has a river between me and it, along with being a non main road, helping alot, there's a large supermarket near by, with roof access, this I know of through misspent youth days, the neighbours have guns, I can get there no problem, between the street and them our backyards are walled off and have sturdy fences, I have lots of materials to hand for barricading, even more for weapons etc. though fire won drop a zombie straight away it has the potential to be a good weapon against them, having the bits to make full scale flamethrowers is nice. for that one zombie that sits at your door, I have a little roof over that and a large cast iron sign to drop. From bad experiences I have found out how to electrify my outdoor lights in to an electric fence. All in all I feel pretty well covered, also access to two motorbikes, four bicycles, a car, a forklift at the safe place, seven lorries at the safe place and a loading shovel at the safe place make me feel pretty safe, along with the safe place having heavy gating and shipping containers for barricading and protection, down there are chainsaws, mechanical tools, diesel, a cannon (more misspent days) and lastly a large box of tea, coffee and sugar, along with a microwave and a generator, coalyard next to it, brickyard in front and possible escape routes include land and sea, air if I happen to bump in to the news guys...

[shadymilkman]

well, maybe if we both survive long enough we will bump into each other and share a few stories and have a few drinks. Sounds like you really have a decent plan. I could see the benefits of having access to a helicopter or small plane, just in case. My father works in a coal mine and they had a helicopter and it was a prime location (exact middle of nowhere) but they have since gotten rid of the chopper due to "abuse" (some of the higher ups took it on a 3 hour flight to have lunch). Now i've had to rethink my plans. Who stockpiles tea btw?

[killerjackalope]

Errr it's because of the people that work there, though relatively few, around 5 at any one time they don't like running out of teabags... I think that a helicopter isn't a great choice, in comparison to either planes or using a boat, helicopters have a pretty limited range compared to a small plane and are harder to fly in comparison. A small cruiser boat is easy to handle, simple to fuel and has a good range. trains would also be handy, though you'd be bound to the last signals sent, for switching lines... The other great thing about where I'd be would be the ability to fabricate things I need.

[skimboarder33]

this is good to know. they dont teach this in school anymore

[shadymilkman]

Yes, I recall my dad talking about his Zombie Apocalypse Prep. class he had way back in high school. They didn't offer it at my vocational school anymore either, thats why I made this.

[AndyGadget]

Interesting, but as everyone knows, no matter how far and fast you run, no matter where you hide, they're always RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

[Ward_Nox]

one thing u missed is leather no mater what class of zombie there still basicly humans as such they cant bite through leather easly but what u want is the cheaper harder leather jackets/chaps as there tougher

[Ward_Nox]

zombie survival guide is a handy as book in this regard

[A.C.E.]

I got that same knife.

[shadymilkman]

Got mine at Rural King for $10

[joehadac]

you didnt happen to read the zombie survival guide now did you?

[shadymilkman]

I read a zombie survival guild on the so called "internet." Thats what inspired me to make this. I only realized that someone else had finished one after i posted mine because when i started several months ago no one had one yet.

[TheWelfareWarrior]

Audiobooks are way cooler.

[crestind]

Sweet :P

[PetervG]

Awesome, makes me want to get prepared for this.

[cryoduck]

Great job, zombie Lennon forever!