Introduction: Swedish Fish Cordial...It's Horrible!
I have been playing about with making cordials (Infused Vodka) for a while now. I have had some successes (Really good ones) and some not so good ones. This is one of the not so good ones.
I hate Swedish Fish. Really really hate them. Rather lick a hedgehog than eat a Swedish Fish...But I have a friend who is nuts about them. In honor of her (Her name is Gazelle), I made the Gazelle Swedish Fish Cordial. This was inspired by the "Shoot The Rainbow" instructable-Which actually tastes good.
If you know someone who loves these candy nightmares, make them a bottle. They may think you are the coolest.
Or they might curse you to your grave for having concocted such a nightmare.
First up...The stuff you need.
Step 1: The Nightmare Begins. Here's the Stuff.
First you need a bag of the little red fruity fish of satan.
Then a 1 quart jar (With lid)
Two cups of cheap vodka
A large bowl or pitcher
A bottle that can be sealed.
You will need all of this eventually. Right away, you need the vodka, a jar and the fish.
Do I really need to mention that everything should be clean?
Step 2: Mix It Up and Wait
Put the fish into the jar and pour the vodka on top.
Put the top on tightly and slosh it around gently, then store in a cool dry place for a week.
I should have put mine in a closet. I had to stare at it every day as it mocked me with it's horribleness.
Step 3: Get Rid of the Chunks.
After waiting for a week, put the strainer over a bowl or pitcher (I prefer a pitcher- It makes transfering the liquid easier) and pour the liquid through it, followed by the nasty decaying leftover chunks of Swedish Fish. Ok, they are not really decaying. It is the left over gummy stuff with all of the flavor and color washed out. I suppose you could eat one if you wanted, the flavor and color replaced by vodka, but I wouldn't.
You want to, don't you?
Go ahead, I dare you.
Mine got dumped down the disposal.
Step 4: Filtering Out the Filler
Remember that cloudiness that occurred when we first poured the vodka over the fish? The stuff that made that cloud is still in there. We need to get rid of it.
Pour the liquid from the pitcher or bowl back into the jar. Rinse the bits of dead fish candy from the strainer and put a coffee filter into it. Restrain the liquid from the jar back into the pitcher through the coffee filter. It will probably take two or more filters. The gunk still left in the vodka tends to slow the stream down to a drip very quickly.
Step 5: Make It Go Away.
Last step. Just bottle it up so that it looks pretty and give it away to someone that appreciates the special nastiness of Swedish Fish. Like my unusual friend Gazelle. I think she'll love it.
I did try a sip. Now I hate Swedish Fish even more.
Sure does look pretty though!
We have a be nice policy.
Please be positive and constructive.