Introduction: The “stop Jail Rape” Soap.
How many times did you have to bend down in your shower and try to find your soap gone into a wild ride trough your bath tub after it as violently escaped from your hands and landed viciously and painfully precisely on one of your little toes....
Blinded by shampoo you frantically try to locate it with one of your hand will rubbing your damaged toe with the other, when it suddenly materializes under your only valid foot.
Precisely at this point you usually end up head over heels bruised, bleeding, soapy, wet, desperate and cursing at the bottom of your tub wishing you could have stayed in bed this morning...
Luckily, for most of us this usually happens in the comfort and safety of your own bathroom.
I have not been in jail yet! And hop I never will, but I can hardly envision having to cope with two dozen gorillas sized tattooed aggressive vicious jail mates sexually deprivated just waiting for you to pick up your untamed soap...
But let's get back on track, what solutions do we have to alleviate this problem?
* The first solution is to run to your nearest shopping center and buy a good size polluting plastic bottle full of highly aggressive toxic chemicals that the media and publicity sell you for an arm and leg: we usually call shower gel. Go back to your shower and sensually spread out on your body the stinky slimy goop that has burst out of a phallic shaped non recyclable plastic bottle like they do on TV. And no mater how well you will rinse off you will always feel greased up and stinky and not cleaned and robbed of at least 8$ or 5€ product that will not event last a week of showering.( is not as brutal as in jail, but you will feel like been f***ed too.):)
* The second an easiest solution is to never shower again for the rest of your life! I decline all responsibility if soon, you lose your job, your friends, your spouse, your relatives and after a certain period of time even your dog. (My (now ex)father in law has opted for this option.)
* The third solution is to fully read this instruct able and learn how to tame your wild flying soap and turn it into an stop jail rape well behaving soap and all of that for only a marginal fully recyclable cost.
Step 1: What Do You Need?
2.A Plate or a tray.
3.About 50 cm of Para cord or fine rope or silk ribbon(for the ladies)or an old shoes lace(for the recycling extremist like me)
5.A portable electric drill or a hand drill.
6.A 5 or 6 mm drill bit that should be at least a couple of centimeters longer that the half of your soap length
7.A 25 cm piece of metallic wire (you can use a piece of an old coat hanger or an old bicycle wheel spoke like I do)
8.5 minutes of your time ...
Step 2: How to Make It? -Step One-
* Take your Para cord or fine rope or silk ribbon or old shoes lace, fold it in two and make a big knot with the two ends.
* Double the knot if necessary.
* Burn the ends off with the flame of the candle to stop the rope/cord from disintegrating
Step 3: How to Make It?-Step Two-
* Set you drill bit in your drill...
* Place your plate on a table and make you drilling over the plate.
* Drill trough you soap through the center lengthwise.
I have experienced several ways of drilling through, sideways, frontal ext... and the best and convenient way is by far through the center lengthwise.
If your drill bit is too short to go through your soap at once, drill both ways and try to meet in the middle of the soap. This should be quite easy if you drill straight.
You now should have a see through soap with hole in the middle lengthwise and some soap powder in a plate!
Congratulation you have done the toughest part....
Step 4: How to Make It?-Step Three-
* Take your 25 cm piece of metallic wire recycled from an old coat hanger or an old bicycle wheel spoke and make a small bend at the end.
* Poke it through the soap.
* Attach the cord to the end of your wire and pull back trough the soap.
* Push the soap up to the end of the cord until it seat firmly on the knot.
Et voila you've got yourself a nice stop jail rape soap.
If you want to recover the soap powder left in the plate you just have to slightly humidify your soap and role it on ... it will pick up all the dust and pieces of soap.
Step 5: How to Use It?
What you now have is a soap with a wrist strap to avoid slipping from your grip just like a Wiiremote...
To use it just get your hand trough the cord loop and secure it around your wrist. You can now do what ever you wish with your soap it will never run away.
If you have a small piece of tubing of about 5mm diameter use approximately 1cm of it and get the cord loop trough it: use it as a fastener around your wrist
The good thing is now you can suspend your soap to dry out every time you take your shower.
One simple self sticking hock on your bathroom tiles and you have got a simple soap holder and no more messy soap marinated in its own juice on the side of the bathtub...you can hang one over your sink too or even next to your garden tap.
Step 6: Conclusion
under serious violent movement, like a wii remote the wrist strap could break or the soap might get free from its cord and fly away... I decline all responsibilities for any damage to flat screen or bathroom tiles or individuals that might occur from improperly using your soap. Be responsible ...
Hope you liked this instruct able, I have been using this stop jail rape soap for years and really find it very useful. I just wanted to share it with all of you. Please leave your comments.
Ps: I decline any responsibility in case you are dumb enough to cut, hurt, burn, drill or kill yourself will attempting to follow this instructable: be mature or stop doing diy projects . And be cautious this soap won't stop you from getting raped in jail. Try not to get in jail in the first place.