Portal Cake

Portal Cake
Contrary to popular opinion, the cake is not a lie. At least, not this one.

Because I lived in a dorm section affectionately referred to as "the gamers' suite", I inevitably hear of every new major game release, and bear witness to the excitement that follows shortly after completion of said games.

This time was no exception, with the release of The Orange Box from Valve, or specifically, the game Portal. After hearing the "Still Alive" endgame track more times than I care to recall, and having everyone go into hysterical fits of giggling at the mention of the word cake...

I finally gave in to the inanity (and no, that's not a typo).

My suitemates were ecstatic and gleefully obliged me, providing several in-game reference photos of aforementioned cake. This image is probably the best one, alongside someone else's early attempt to re-create the cake from the recipe mentioned in the game itself (I have no idea where it can be found, as I've never played Portal before). However, since some elements in the recipe seem less than savory (I mean, fish shaped ethyl benzene?) I decided to do my own thing; start from the reference and build up from there.

It's an experiment in the truest sense, really. I haven't done this before, so what you'll see is what I'll get as I tinker around.

That being said, feel free to join me as I attempt to bring this unusual culinary project to completion.

NOTE: The Weighted Companion Cube is NOT my creation, but the papercraft artist and the build plans for him can be found here: Companion Cube Papercraft
 
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Step 1The Conceptual Blueprint

Believe it or not, there's a method behind the madness of all this.

  • When attempting to pull of a re-creation of something, looks are everything, if not a major part of the appeal. As obvious as it seems, this means that the inside of the cake, if you're willing to disregard the in-game recipe, can be anything you want, as long as it has the correct shape and has a dry, solid surface. You could take cardboard, frost the panels, and top it with red ping-pong balls and balsa wood chips if you were determined.
  • Basically, the type of cake base used can be anything your little heart desires, whether it be chocolate, devil's food, yellow cake, or even red velvet.

Well, almost anything - I wouldn't recommend trying it with spongecake or angel food due to the delicate structure of the crumb. Just as long as it can hold itself up in layers and can take frosting on the surface without much damage.

  • The same principle applies when deciding what to put between the layers. It's recommended that you put something there, since it'll help the layers stay together and make the overall cake more stable.

It can be as simple as frosting-in-a-can or whipped cream, or as complex as chopped fruit and melted chocolate. Nothing too wet, though, you want the layers moist, but not soggy.

Now, even though you can't take as many liberties with the exterior, the ingredients aren't set in stone for it either. Based on the reference photos, these main things make this cake recognizable (at least, to people who have played the game before):

  • a rough-looking, brown exterior
  • eight (8) cherry red decorations set in a ring of white frosting
  • said decorations evenly arranged in a circle on top
  • a thin white candle (optional) set in the center

The possibilities for replicating these components of the appearance are entirely up to you. See what works or is most readily available to you.
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161 comments
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Oct 11, 2011. 1:22 PMkmoore16 says:
So if i want to make a full version of this, i just need more cake mix, and 2 more 8" round pans.
Sep 29, 2011. 10:42 PMbuilderkidj says:
I'm asking my mom to make me this for my birthday!
Sep 18, 2011. 8:02 AMmarkboucherr says:
awesome working. ;)
Sep 18, 2011. 8:01 AMmarkboucherr says:
This is perfect working. ;)
Sep 18, 2011. 8:00 AMmarkboucherr says:
awesome working. This is perfect work. ;)
Sep 18, 2011. 7:59 AMmarkboucherr says:
yes this is perfect work. ;)
Sep 15, 2011. 5:26 PMilpug says:
It was only a matter of time...
Sep 15, 2011. 4:36 PMpyro1234567890 says:
Wow just a few days after I submit mine.
Sep 15, 2011. 5:54 AMmackbuck says:
Cool idea. Wonder when someone's gonna make a Tardis cake, would look awesome.:))
Sep 4, 2011. 10:48 AMjamesjamesjames says:
A Portal cake i made for a friends birthday =)
40963_10150231553705573_548870572_14159334_1452455_n.jpg
Jun 2, 2010. 4:04 AMFashim says:
 This was a Triumph.
Aug 2, 2010. 10:50 PMSoshiKagami says:
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS
Aug 20, 2010. 3:02 PMdombeef says:
Its hard to overstate my satisfaction, Aperture Science
May 6, 2011. 9:58 AMAperture says:
what is it
Aug 24, 2010. 8:25 PMSonicx00222 says:
Ok I think you're overdoing it a little bit there bud.
Aug 29, 2010. 2:01 PMdombeef says:
Have you seen the ending credits? and the song?
Nov 19, 2010. 5:14 PMSonicx00222 says:
Yeah beat the game months ago.
Sep 8, 2010. 6:52 AMFashim says:
2 Last comments killed it.. :(
Sep 8, 2010. 3:06 PMdombeef says:
Yeah, want to start over?
This was a triumph.
Sep 9, 2010. 12:13 AMFashim says:
I'm making a note here.
Sep 9, 2010. 12:58 PMdombeef says:
Huge success
Sep 16, 2010. 3:14 PMfantomzed says:
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction .
Sep 16, 2010. 5:39 PMdombeef says:
Apurature Science "insert catchy jingle"
Sep 20, 2010. 5:00 AMitzepiic says:
We do what we want....because we can.
Sep 20, 2010. 11:48 AMdombeef says:
We do what we must, because we can.(You are wrong)
Sep 23, 2010. 5:47 AMitzepiic says:
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.

(Sorry, I always thought thats what it said)
Sep 23, 2010. 12:18 PMdombeef says:
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
Sep 23, 2010. 1:35 PMfantomzed says:
you just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake
Sep 23, 2010. 4:43 PMdombeef says:
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people that are still alive
Sep 23, 2010. 6:50 PMitzepiic says:
I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart. And killed me (waits for someone to ruin this with another dumb question)
Sep 24, 2010. 4:57 PMFashim says:
And tore me to pieces.(Indeed.)
Sep 24, 2010. 7:14 PMdombeef says:
And threw every pieces into a fire(Yes)
Sep 27, 2010. 5:26 AMitzepiic says:
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!
Oct 8, 2010. 1:37 PMxx-freakout-xx says:
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE (x2)
(i'm sorry the song died a well ago so i bumed it with the last part of the song)
Oct 9, 2010. 9:47 AMitzepiic says:
Thats okay...

At least it wasn't ruined again
Oct 11, 2010. 1:10 AMFashim says:
Combo Breaker.,.
Apr 28, 2011. 7:17 PMJHK says:
this cake is probably the only one that doesn't loook lik someon vomitted on it
Apr 28, 2011. 7:16 PMJHK says:
SPOILER ALERT!!
actually the companion cube didn't die. at the end of portal 2 when GLaDOS lets you escape, a companion cube pops through and the companion cube has burned marks and is the same design of the companion cube from the first game (meaning no blue and yellow light on it) so the cube is still alive and GLaDOS gave it back to you.
Feb 13, 2011. 2:58 PMknexwalrus says:
it is missing the RUBARB!
Dec 24, 2009. 2:37 PMDuct Tape Dude says:
WAIT!!!! WHY IS EVERYONE MOURNING THE LOSS OF THE COMPANION CUBE?!?!?
in the begining of the game GLaDOS says "ALL ApEtUrE ScIeNcE TeChnOLegY CaN WiThSTaND TeMpEtUrEs Of Upto 4000 DeGrEEs KeLvIn" doesnt that mean the Cube is still Alive....because the Cube SURELY wasnt invented by Black Mesa!!!! But of course that doesnt mean that poem on the walls wasnt awesome..."the Reaper came today...an angel walked down the grey path...and took the Cube away."
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