Introduction: The Greatest Fail

About: I'm a nervous eater, and a happy eater... and a sad eater, and a hungry eater... I eat.

Well, I gave a great deal of thought to which of my projects I would call most a fail- a birthday present I soldered up all backwards, a (would-have-been) glorious costume for a contest, many other things- then it struck me that all my projects share one mistake, a problem that should be outlined well in this instructable. I don't know about anyone else, but this is a horribly recurring problem of mine. I do hope y'all enjoy my comedy of errors!

Step 1: Gathering What You Need

First you will need:

- half baked idea of dubious merit

- a much-too-small time constraint closely followed by some event at which half baked idea is to be presented

- oven mitts or potholders

- a dash of procrastination

Step 2:

Give a valiant effort at fully baking the idea, inevitably using much of the time constraint.

Step 3: Truly Beginning

Once the idea is fully cooked, remove the idea using the oven mitts or potholders and get started on making absurdly perfect plans from which to execute the project, also using too much time.

Step 4:

As you attempt to begin the project, find that you are completely lacking the means to go about completing above idea.

Find way around lack of resources by using an inadequate substitute.

Step 5:

Give half hearted work sessions on project, assuming you have enough time to finish at this rate (which you don't).

Realize deadline is approaching very soon and begin panicked execution of plans.

Step 6: Alternate Step 5

After successfully completing this Instructable several times (or not, depending on whether or not you truly are a master at the first few steps) you may want to consider these alternate steps:

Work furiously on project for several work sessions.

Let procrastination sink in thinking you have more than enough time to take a "short" break.

Continue "working" at step 7.

Step 7: The Deadline Approaches Deadline-iness

Nearing time of deadline either

A) present self with slapdash execution of idea

B) accept/realize that you failed to allot enough time to properly execute idea

C) somehow scrounge up a later deadline because you thought to leave some time before event to make sure idea is properly executed or event was postponed or you're just going to be late to event

At time of deadline either

A) present slapdash, unfinished execution of idea at aforementioned event

B) leave slapdash, unfinished execution of idea at home and think up good excuses as to why it didn't debut

Step 8: The Final Step

After many completions and attempts at original and alternate steps, find the "EPIC FAIL" contest and write a fatuous yet hopefully humorous Instructable depicting your standard procedure for effectuating project ideas. And of course write it with less than an hour remaining till the contest closes!

Spectacular Failures Contest

Participated in the
Spectacular Failures Contest