Containing the magnificently useful triumvirate of egg, lemon juice, and oil, mayonnaise is easily adaptable for a variety of uses for everything from hair conditioning to removing bumper stickers.
Here are 9 uses for mayo that will make your sandwiches insanely jealous.
Step 1: Polishing Ivory Piano Keys
Just dab a little onto the dull key and leave it for five minutes or so. Then wipe off the mayo, and buff with a different cloth until the ivory shines.
Step 2: Conditioning Dry, Brittle Hair
Shampoo normally and towel dry.
Comb in at least a tablespoon of real mayonnaise (no need to go for the light stuff here, very little will be absorbed through your scalp and deposited directly into your arteries) starting at the top of your head and working your way to the tips. Be sure to coat each strand of your luscious mane.
Leave it in for at least one hour. Try to stay inside while you wait because, you know, you’ll have mayonnaise on your head and not everybody will understand its amazing conditioning properties. You might even get French fries rubbed on your head. To avoid staining all of your furniture, wrapping with plastic wrap couldn’t hurt. Just don’t wrap over your nose and mouth.
After your hour is up, wash your hair again using either a mild shampoo (like baby shampoo) or use a tiny amount of regular shampoo. It’ll eliminate the fresh-out-of-a-French-bistro scent, but that’s probably a good thing.
Style normally. Look extraordinary.
Step 3: Exfoliating Your Skin
Apply a little mayo to problem areas like the elbows, knees, or your face. Leave it on for ten to fifteen minutes, then buff off with a damp towel or washcloth. Then use your normal moisturizer or lotion to lock in the freshness.
Step 4: Cleaning Up Crayon Marks
Rub a little bit of mayo onto the crayon mark and let it sit for five to ten minutes. Then watch it magically disappear when you wipe it away with a damp cloth.
Step 5: Strengthening Fingernails
Try dipping your nails into a mayo bath. Soak your nails, cuticles, and the rest of your fingertip in some mayonnaise. Then rinse. Voila! Stronger nails. You'll be opening bottles and clamshell packaging bare-handed from now on.
Step 6: Removing Tar, Sap, and Sticker Residue
Cover the mess with some mayonnaise and let it sit for several minutes. Then wipe it off with a soft, vehicle-approved cloth. It may take a few tries for the tougher grime, but the lemon juice and oil combine to create a Goo-Gone equivalent that can be found for free in some delicatessens.
Step 7: Restoring Wood Furniture
Step 8: Removing Rings
The oil in the mayonnaise makes an excellent ring lubricant for those times when you must remove your ring but don’t have any WD-40 on hand. Just work some mayo into the area around and underneath your ring (inside? whichever preposition feels most appropriate to you), then slide the ring off. You may find that twisting helps, but stop if you feel any excruciating pain, numbness, or your finger falls off.
Step 9: Polishing Houseplant Leaves
Rub a little bit of mayo onto your matte and dull leaf. Buff it to a shine, then you'll have the shiniest ficus leaf in the world. Because leaf-shining isn't really a thing.
(Right? It's not a thing? I actually called my mom for more mayonnaise ideas, and this one was the second one she thought of. SECOND. She's either really committed to the lie, or this is real. Confirm for me in the comments, please.)
Step 10: Mayonnaise Resources
Check out jen7714's awesome healthy mayo instructable at https://www.instructables.com/id/Healthier-Homemade-Mayonnaise/
Or take a gander at mje's awesome garlic mayo at https://www.instructables.com/id/Mayonnaise!/
For further mayonnaise usages, please see randofo's extraordinary use of mayo at https://www.instructables.com/id/The-Best-Turkey-Sandwich-Ever/step5/Mayonnaise/