Mayonnaise, besides being a delicious French sauce from the ‘naise family, has a number of uses beyond the kitchen. If you’re caught without emollients or Goo-Gone but have access to mayonnaise in individual packets (or a whole jar, if you’re lucky), mayonnaise can save the day.

Containing the magnificently useful triumvirate of egg, lemon juice, and oil, mayonnaise is easily adaptable for a variety of uses for everything from hair conditioning to removing bumper stickers.

Here are 9 uses for mayo that will make your sandwiches insanely jealous.

Step 1: Polishing ivory piano keys

Your ivory piano keys are probably filthy. Which is a shame, given that some poor elephant gave up his life for an afterlife of people playing chopsticks on his teeth. If you’re going to tickle the ivory, perhaps you should brighten it up a bit with some mayonnaise.

Just dab a little onto the dull key and leave it for five minutes or so. Then wipe off the mayo, and buff with a different cloth until the ivory shines.

<p>You're true to your name in step 2. LOL</p>
My mom always shined her plants with mayonnaise while I was growing up. She also sang and talked to her plants. Funny, but true.
<p>We don't shine our plants tho but talk to them yes. They yield more fruits for fruit trees and a deeper tone of colors for flowering plants. Just a simple &quot;good morning&quot; or &quot;hi&quot; or &quot;thank you&quot; for the fruits they bare goes a long way. </p>
<p>If you don't want all the fat and bad stuff that's in mayo going into your body, try this homemade recipe from my favorite chef and recipe genius: </p><p><a href="http://veganfeastkitchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-low-fat-vegan-mayo-with-no-extracted.html" rel="nofollow">http://veganfeastkitchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-l...</a></p><p>If you're at all adventurous, do try it, even if you're not a vegan. It's totally unbelievable. I have been trying to lose weight and this has been a big help - I'm tending to make more healthy stuff and then put lots of this mayo on them. It feels like I'm being bad, but at 12 or so calories per tablespoon it's actually good for me!<br><br> I'll see if the creator of the recipe minds if I make an instructable. This takes about 15 minutes to make including set up and clean up. (The first time may take a few more just to get used to the setup.) It's got like 12 calories per tablespoon, but it tastes and feels like regular mayo. I used just a tsp more mustard, half a tsp less salt, and a tbsp more vinegar than this recipe. Make it just like the recipe the first time to get a baseline. This reaches peak flavor the second day after you make it. Also, after it sets up I give it a good vigorous stirring to give it a realistic mayo texture.<br><br>You can get the cashews at Trader Joes. I use their unsweetened refrigerated soymilk but you can use any non-dairy milk you like.</p><p>You need agar powder not flakes. Here's one </p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Foods-Agar-Powder-Ounce-Bottle/dp/B000MGSJ5A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1433485618&sr=8-1&keywords=organic+agar+powder" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Foods-Agar-Powder-Ounce-Bott...</a> and here's another </p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/TELEPHONE-BRAND-AGAR-POWDER/dp/B007WZGP14/ref=sr_1_2?s=grocery&rps=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1433487141&sr=1-2&keywords=telephone+agar+powder" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/TELEPHONE-BRAND-AGAR-POWDER/...</a></p><p>I use the Telephone brand but get it much less expensively at a local Korean market called H&amp;Y Marketplace. </p>
<p>I used to hate Mayonnaise but reading this article made me go out there, buy a jar of the stuff and try a table spoon of it. Now Mayonnaise is one of my favorite foods and I can't stop having it!</p>
<p>That's great to hear. It's even better made fresh. </p>
<p>It isn't so much shining the leaves as it is removing dust, it allows the plant to soak up more sun, also I think giving the plant some personal attention helps make it grow better and stay healthier.</p>
My mum polished her leaves with egg whites. I think it was a thing in the 70s. I always wondered if the plants liked it?
Please reply, will this take off battery acid?? Let me explain, my alarm clock has a battery backup and it exploded when the power surged! It ruined a really nice bed side table. Please let me know if this will fix that issue!!!! <br>
No. You'll probably want to neutralize any spilled acid with a base, then clean up with something a bit stronger than mayo. Try some baking soda then the product you normally use to clean up whatever substance your table is made from.
All these great uses for mayonnaise... Since I can't stand it's taste, now I know what it's really made for! <br> <br>Thx, <br>Beth
Elephant elbows??? Too funny!! <br> <br>Just found your 'ibles and am your newest follower ;) <br> <br>Beth
if you don't mind I would like to add to this list...<br>Mayonnaise is the BEST lice treatment I have ever used!<br>coat your (dry) hair &quot;liberally&quot; with MAYO and then wrap your head with suran wrap. let it sit for 20 minutes and wash it out. do it again the next day and you should be good to go!<br><br>added tip: make sure your mayonnaise is not refrigerated lol.
i just dont understand why anyone would WANT to shine their leaves.. why does it matter?
It is, apparently, a THING. I tried to fight this fight on a monthly basis when I was a boy, and as an adult I agree with you. I guess that's why no one has complimented the sheen on my plants' leaves. Which, as we all know, is the FIRST thing you look at when entering someone's home.
(The test leaf from the photo still looks unusually shiny relative to its mates. The mayo trick DOES work. It's a question of "do you need it to?")
Windex or eye glass cleaner is also great for removing rings. Might not be so good for pearls, though.
Windex is amazing for getting rings off. A woman at a jewelry store used it on me when I tried on a too-small ring. However, she made sure to cover the stones of the rings with some paper towel so they wouldn't get the Windex on them, so I'm assuming Windex probably isn't good for any precious or semi precious stone.
I'm getting my plants mayo for xmas :)
Best gift ever. A little goes a long way, though, so consider pampering yourself by conditioning your hair with the leftovers. Throw in an avocado mask and some cucumber slices over your eyes, and you have the makings of a delicious face sandwich.<br /><br />Your plants won't mind if you borrow a little bit of their gift. <br /><br />(Fun holiday fact: poinsettia leaves look extra fake when treated with a dollop of mayo and a quick shine.)
Mayo is great to make grilled sandwiches instead of the struggle with hard butter. Mayo is always soft and happy to be used for grilled sandwiches. It is also a great addition to scrambled eggs. Sounds dumb but it is a bit tasty anyway.
Agreed. Mayo is just olive oil and eggs and lemon. It makes an excellent waterproof layer to prevent damp sandwich fixins from making your bread all soggy.
Can you add one?!?!?!<br><br>Mayonnaise brushed lightly on to fish while frying it will take away that super smellyness!
You can also use a Mayonnaise pack to kill lice. Have used it and it definitely works. Just liberally apply the mayo to dry hair getting down to the scalp. Cover with a baggie overnight and wash it out in the morning! Voila!
REALLY<br> ive been trying to strengthen my nails for ages, thankyou
Also Mayo can be used to tarnish/stain high carbon steel. I've used it on my hunting and fishing knives to give it a patina or by swirling it on the blade, it can create as unique design as you want. Clean the blade real good, and dry it real good. Just put some on, swirl it or what ever, then let it dry overnight in the fridge, 18-24 hours not covered, then take it out and wash it off. If it didn't come out the way you want, then buff it out with a buffing wheel and jewelers rouge. Then clean it up with soap and water and dry it good. Then start again. I think you'll like the way it comes out. Also, this can done with mustard, or lemon juice. Let me know how it turns out.
Those poor elephants. Can we give them Mayo before we take the tusks?<br>Now whenever I open a mayo jar, I'll think there needs to be an elephant ode.
Hey, some people juggle geese.
They were baby goslings to be exact.
and others are entertained by the people who juggle geese.
Leaf-shining is definitely a thing. My Mom used to make me do her dozens of houseplants with her special little spray bottle of Miracle-Gro leaf polish. They did look prettier and she swore that getting the dust off of the leaves improved plant health by allowing them to breathe better.
I had an aunt who made my cousin polish the leaves on her plants. She would use either mayo or mineral oil. I tried it myself one day and it works. :-)
This is awesome. Another use: if you have a container that has held some malodorous and staining drink (Kool-Aid, Wine, Whiskey, Tea), spread some mayo all over it, wait, and wash normally. it removes the smell, and the colored tint from the artificial coloring. Very nice Instructable. You are quite funny.
Make the mayonnaise from scratch by hand and get some exercise. Even another benefit!
i prefer Stensons Mayostard... I don't have enough time to deal with plain mayo.
Also, as fortune has it.. Mayo can kill those pesky lice, so next time you feel an itch slap some mayo on your noggen. Haha
ok, i was laughing the whole time. don't let those poor elephants die in vain! Use the 'naise's family sauce!<br /><br />haha love it.<br /><br />im clapping here alone at my desk, this is too great.
Dont knock it mate, my Mom is a florist, and one of the jobs she had me and my brother doing on weekends was shining the leaves on the big plants. We used to use a can of &quot;Leaf Shine&quot; if you dont believe me<br>http://www.greenfingers.com/superstore/product.asp?dept_id=33&amp;pf_id=LS5961D&amp;co=fr<br><br>Anyway, thanks for the memories I had repressed them, damnit got to start again now lol
I had no idea it was a real thing. We still did it, though. I appreciate this first-hand professional corroboration. Thanks.
Wade, I am so excited you are going to be writing more of these. This is epic.
You forgot one, hiding the $50,000 diamond necklace, I stole last night.
And if that necklace gets tangled up, the oil in the mayo should make it easier to unknot. You found a tenth use!
I think your mother is very commited to this lie, haha.
You forgot the most important use: eat it!
My friend told us a website: mylovembtshoes.com I find the products are very generous,and suitable for fall

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Bio: I'm an English teacher and former Instructables staff member.
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