The Mayo Clinic - 9 Unusual Uses for Mayonnaise

 by wilgubeast
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Mayonnaise, besides being a delicious French sauce from the ‘naise family, has a number of uses beyond the kitchen. If you’re caught without emollients or Goo-Gone but have access to mayonnaise in individual packets (or a whole jar, if you’re lucky), mayonnaise can save the day.

Containing the magnificently useful triumvirate of egg, lemon juice, and oil, mayonnaise is easily adaptable for a variety of uses for everything from hair conditioning to removing bumper stickers.

Here are 9 uses for mayo that will make your sandwiches insanely jealous.

 
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Step 1: Polishing ivory piano keys

Your ivory piano keys are probably filthy. Which is a shame, given that some poor elephant gave up his life for an afterlife of people playing chopsticks on his teeth. If you’re going to tickle the ivory, perhaps you should brighten it up a bit with some mayonnaise.

Just dab a little onto the dull key and leave it for five minutes or so. Then wipe off the mayo, and buff with a different cloth until the ivory shines.

RosyRivet says: May 12, 2013. 2:35 AM
My mum polished her leaves with egg whites. I think it was a thing in the 70s. I always wondered if the plants liked it?
instructamaker says: Feb 21, 2013. 5:19 AM
It does work
Killergunman says: Jan 19, 2013. 10:27 PM
Please reply, will this take off battery acid?? Let me explain, my alarm clock has a battery backup and it exploded when the power surged! It ruined a really nice bed side table. Please let me know if this will fix that issue!!!!
wilgubeast (author) in reply to KillergunmanJan 22, 2013. 11:58 AM
No. You'll probably want to neutralize any spilled acid with a base, then clean up with something a bit stronger than mayo. Try some baking soda then the product you normally use to clean up whatever substance your table is made from.
maltesergr8 says: Aug 15, 2012. 11:17 PM
All these great uses for mayonnaise... Since I can't stand it's taste, now I know what it's really made for!

Thx,
Beth
maltesergr8 says: Aug 15, 2012. 11:15 PM
Elephant elbows??? Too funny!!

Just found your 'ibles and am your newest follower ;)

Beth
SlickSqueegie says: Mar 22, 2012. 6:05 AM
if you don't mind I would like to add to this list...
Mayonnaise is the BEST lice treatment I have ever used!
coat your (dry) hair "liberally" with MAYO and then wrap your head with suran wrap. let it sit for 20 minutes and wash it out. do it again the next day and you should be good to go!

added tip: make sure your mayonnaise is not refrigerated lol.
FinchbyFinch says: Mar 12, 2012. 6:51 PM
i just dont understand why anyone would WANT to shine their leaves.. why does it matter?
wilgubeast (author) in reply to FinchbyFinchMar 12, 2012. 6:59 PM
It is, apparently, a THING. I tried to fight this fight on a monthly basis when I was a boy, and as an adult I agree with you. I guess that's why no one has complimented the sheen on my plants' leaves. Which, as we all know, is the FIRST thing you look at when entering someone's home.
wilgubeast (author) in reply to wilgubeastMar 12, 2012. 7:07 PM
(The test leaf from the photo still looks unusually shiny relative to its mates. The mayo trick DOES work. It's a question of "do you need it to?")
swdickie says: Mar 27, 2011. 1:03 PM
Windex or eye glass cleaner is also great for removing rings. Might not be so good for pearls, though.
kderusha in reply to swdickieDec 11, 2011. 7:05 PM
Windex is amazing for getting rings off. A woman at a jewelry store used it on me when I tried on a too-small ring. However, she made sure to cover the stones of the rings with some paper towel so they wouldn't get the Windex on them, so I'm assuming Windex probably isn't good for any precious or semi precious stone.
K8spoon says: Dec 8, 2011. 11:05 AM
I'm getting my plants mayo for xmas :)
wilgubeast (author) in reply to K8spoonDec 8, 2011. 11:19 AM
Best gift ever. A little goes a long way, though, so consider pampering yourself by conditioning your hair with the leftovers. Throw in an avocado mask and some cucumber slices over your eyes, and you have the makings of a delicious face sandwich.

Your plants won't mind if you borrow a little bit of their gift.

(Fun holiday fact: poinsettia leaves look extra fake when treated with a dollop of mayo and a quick shine.)
marymac says: Dec 7, 2011. 7:06 AM
Mayo is great to make grilled sandwiches instead of the struggle with hard butter. Mayo is always soft and happy to be used for grilled sandwiches. It is also a great addition to scrambled eggs. Sounds dumb but it is a bit tasty anyway.
wilgubeast (author) in reply to marymacDec 7, 2011. 11:08 AM
Agreed. Mayo is just olive oil and eggs and lemon. It makes an excellent waterproof layer to prevent damp sandwich fixins from making your bread all soggy.
P.Bechthold says: Oct 17, 2011. 7:44 PM
Can you add one?!?!?!

Mayonnaise brushed lightly on to fish while frying it will take away that super smellyness!
sgillespie2 says: Sep 12, 2011. 4:00 PM
You can also use a Mayonnaise pack to kill lice. Have used it and it definitely works. Just liberally apply the mayo to dry hair getting down to the scalp. Cover with a baggie overnight and wash it out in the morning! Voila!
Sawowie XD says: Jul 26, 2011. 4:38 AM
REALLY
ive been trying to strengthen my nails for ages, thankyou
bobking2 says: Mar 28, 2011. 12:07 PM
Also Mayo can be used to tarnish/stain high carbon steel. I've used it on my hunting and fishing knives to give it a patina or by swirling it on the blade, it can create as unique design as you want. Clean the blade real good, and dry it real good. Just put some on, swirl it or what ever, then let it dry overnight in the fridge, 18-24 hours not covered, then take it out and wash it off. If it didn't come out the way you want, then buff it out with a buffing wheel and jewelers rouge. Then clean it up with soap and water and dry it good. Then start again. I think you'll like the way it comes out. Also, this can done with mustard, or lemon juice. Let me know how it turns out.
syninaptic says: Mar 27, 2011. 9:24 PM
Those poor elephants. Can we give them Mayo before we take the tusks?
Now whenever I open a mayo jar, I'll think there needs to be an elephant ode.
slaitch says: Mar 18, 2011. 10:16 AM
Hey, some people juggle geese.
better than ewe in reply to slaitchMar 27, 2011. 3:22 PM
They were baby goslings to be exact.
ilpug in reply to slaitchMar 19, 2011. 2:34 PM
and others are entertained by the people who juggle geese.
canonge2 says: Mar 21, 2011. 9:20 PM
My mom always shined her plants with mayonnaise while I was growing up. She also sang and talked to her plants. Funny, but true.
mookiemueller says: Mar 20, 2011. 7:06 PM
Leaf-shining is definitely a thing. My Mom used to make me do her dozens of houseplants with her special little spray bottle of Miracle-Gro leaf polish. They did look prettier and she swore that getting the dust off of the leaves improved plant health by allowing them to breathe better.
n8dawg says: Mar 20, 2011. 12:51 AM
I had an aunt who made my cousin polish the leaves on her plants. She would use either mayo or mineral oil. I tried it myself one day and it works. :-)
ilpug says: Mar 19, 2011. 2:37 PM
This is awesome. Another use: if you have a container that has held some malodorous and staining drink (Kool-Aid, Wine, Whiskey, Tea), spread some mayo all over it, wait, and wash normally. it removes the smell, and the colored tint from the artificial coloring. Very nice Instructable. You are quite funny.
Computothought says: Mar 19, 2011. 11:09 AM
Make the mayonnaise from scratch by hand and get some exercise. Even another benefit!
pict0114.jpg
thingy says: Mar 19, 2011. 7:51 AM
i prefer Stensons Mayostard... I don't have enough time to deal with plain mayo.
Steadimike says: Mar 19, 2011. 7:30 AM
Also, as fortune has it.. Mayo can kill those pesky lice, so next time you feel an itch slap some mayo on your noggen. Haha
angelabchua says: Mar 18, 2011. 4:13 PM
ok, i was laughing the whole time. don't let those poor elephants die in vain! Use the 'naise's family sauce!

haha love it.

im clapping here alone at my desk, this is too great.
zyonchaos says: Mar 18, 2011. 2:56 PM
Dont knock it mate, my Mom is a florist, and one of the jobs she had me and my brother doing on weekends was shining the leaves on the big plants. We used to use a can of "Leaf Shine" if you dont believe me
http://www.greenfingers.com/superstore/product.asp?dept_id=33&pf_id=LS5961D&co=fr

Anyway, thanks for the memories I had repressed them, damnit got to start again now lol
wilgubeast (author) in reply to zyonchaosMar 18, 2011. 3:10 PM
I had no idea it was a real thing. We still did it, though. I appreciate this first-hand professional corroboration. Thanks.
zazenergy says: Mar 18, 2011. 11:08 AM
Wade, I am so excited you are going to be writing more of these. This is epic.
spamattakky says: Mar 17, 2011. 5:56 PM
You forgot one, hiding the $50,000 diamond necklace, I stole last night.
wilgubeast (author) in reply to spamattakkyMar 18, 2011. 10:48 AM
And if that necklace gets tangled up, the oil in the mayo should make it easier to unknot. You found a tenth use!
i_am_vindicated says: Mar 18, 2011. 8:54 AM
I think your mother is very commited to this lie, haha.
rimar2000 says: Mar 18, 2011. 4:27 AM
You forgot the most important use: eat it!
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