Instructables
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Picture of The Offal Truth
Scalpel.jpg
How To Get Friends And Enemies To Eat Things They Normally Wouldn't Touch!

What's better than tricking someone you love, hate, or who owes you money into eating a mouthful of something that they think is something else? Nothing, that's what! Nothing gives that warm and fuzzy feeling like watching someone unwittingly munch on innards and tell you how much they really enjoy it.


 
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Step 1: The Heart Of The Matter

Picture of The Heart Of The Matter
That's right. That's a pun. Get over it. The picture? That's a beef heart. The scalpel? Don't you judge me.

When people think of offal---and those are rare moments indeed---they think of the taste of overcooked liver. A bitter and grainy experience that is at once coppery and irony (ferrous I mean, not the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning) . . . you know, it's a gross experience. Liver can be a wonderful thing in the hands of someone that cares, but for the majority of people out there they just don't know. And they associate everything that doesn't look like a steak or ground chuck with that awful liver experience that happened in their early adolescence.

Heart is a good first step on the road to reclaiming the tasty delicacies that we call guts. Why? It's a meat pump. And it's leaner than that ribeye you have every time you go out to eat at a restaurant. LOADS of B12 in heart and high levels of coenzyme Q10 if you think that actually does something for you. And a 4oz portion will give you less cholesterol and saturated fat than a similar sized portion of ribeye. So why waste it. Eat it! Or trick someone else into doing it.

Step 2: Cardio

Picture of Cardio
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Do your cardio work and burn that fat . . . or slice it away with your serial killer gloves on.
Jenelah3 months ago

Oh, and I love your humor, LOL.

Jenelah3 months ago

I love heart, but is as expensive as steak and hard to find. I used to make stuffed beef heart in the crock pot in Belgium. It was delicious and very inexpensive.

The bread thing WAS a euphemism, right? Ha ha ha.... RIGHT!?

You know..... the heart doesn't look half bad... AARRRGGGGHHHHH! What am i SAYING!?

claramecium2 years ago
brains with butter sauce(mwahahaha)
way to go im hungry now, ive always eaten deer heart and to me it tast great braised but never had any luck grilling it.
twighahn2 years ago
tongue is the same way. i fed it to neighbors and family and none were the wiser lol
dlewisa (author)  twighahn2 years ago
I actually have some tongue in the freezer too. I think I might make tacos with it.
triumphman2 years ago
Hey, where is my cat ?
My Dad worked in the meat industry when I was just a wee lad. My mother was a wizard in the kitchen and we used to eat offal regularly including Ox heart and Tongue. I concur that Heart is totally delicious. Great instructable and I dig your sense of humour. lol.
dlewisa (author)  BigBadgers20012 years ago
Thanks! Guts is tasty.
mikeasaurus2 years ago
Great writeup! I think a lot of people might actually like organ meat if it was prepared right, and they got over the mental barrier and just try it

. ...by the way, the meat there looks offal
The intro slide had me scratching my head. after the second slide it made more since. I think the final product looks tasty. This inscrutable is very well illustrated. great work, keep it up.
dlewisa (author)  James Longpaw2 years ago
Think it needs a different cover picture? I thought it was creepy, but it really doesn't let you know what you're in for.
yes, changing the picture would solve much confusion. may I suggest possibly using a picture of the finished product.