The Perfect Buffalo Sauce!

Quick you want something to put on your chicken that rhymes with "Suffalo Bauce", the words of the day. With all of the possibilities out there, what ever will you make? I know what you'll make: Buffalo Sauce. I'm sure by now you're thinking, "Wow, Chase! You must be a master of the English Language!". Well, I am, and I know that "color" has no "U" *cough cough* Britain. Welcome to America where we spell things the right way. Where was I? Oh, yeah Buffalo Sauce. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa... what are you doing? Back away from those car keys, you can make that right here, at home. With your new powers of making food on your own, with my help, you will make the PERFECT Buffalo Sauce. "What makes it so perfect?", you may ask. Well, kiddo, this sauce has the burning power of a thousand suns, but only if you want it to, this sauce is fully customizable. The other great thing about this sauce is the burn. It starts out subtle, with the slightest burn, so small it almost tastes sweet. Then, the burn comes. More and more with each bite, slowly but surely, giving you the best taste ever. If you follow my directions, you'll get the burning of about 13.7 suns. two of those being white dwarves, 1.7 supernovas, 5 red giants, 3 nebulae and two black holes.


Let's do this.

Step 1 Setting up the Base

Okay, you think you can handle it? See if you can get this out of your fridge:

• 20 parts ranch
• 5 parts Frank's Red Hot
• 3 parts Cholula
• 1² (Can you do the math? Hint: it's 1) part Sriracha (Rooster) Sauce

Now put that all in a bowl, and whisk it with a fork. What are you doing!?! I said WHISK not mix! Did I stutter? You disgust me. Time out 15 minutes! Cover the bowl in saran wrap and stick to sauce in the fridge.

What's that?

Yes, I promise the sauce won't get less spicy when you put it in the fridge. Now go to the corner, fifteen minutes.

Comments

[scoochmaroo]

Very nice!