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Avast ye scurvey Instructables.com community dogs!  If ye like ter cook up grub aboard the barbecue grill, this here Instructable be for ye.  Me, Cap'n Toglefritz, will show ye how ter rig up an apron and a hat fer cookin'.  Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!  Ye be nigh a pair o' hours from ye new apron and hat.  Fair winds to ye!

Step 1: Amass Ye Booty (Materials)

Yo-ho-ho here be the booty ye shall need ter sew up ye apron:

Materials:
  • 2 yards o' white sail (cotton fabric)
  • 1 can o' black Krylon spray paint
  • White thread
Cutlasses (Tools)
  • Sewing machine
  • Scissors
  • Iron
  • Measuring tape
  • Pins
  • Masking tape
  • X-Acto knives

Step 2: Make Terms With the Sail (Cut Out the Fabric Pattern)


It be the time to unsheathe ye cutlass and trim sail.  Abide by the pattern a port of this ledger to cut ye white sail to a shape befitting ye apron. 
Ye sail's height shall be the measure from ye neck to ye knees.
A tip from Cap'n Toglefritz:  Fold ye sail in half, lengthwise, for cutting ye arm holes.  The be to make certain the holes be of even size.

Step 3: Hem Ye Patterns

There be two standing orders aboard this step:
  1. Hem the four strips o' sail on all sides and press with ye hot iron with a bit o' steam.  The hems shall be nigh 1/2 inch abreast.  Fold ye sail into a half, lengthwise, and press using ye hot iron and steam; then unfold ye sail.  Fold each half o' ye sail to the middle crease.  A second time, ye shall fold the strip in half, lengthwise.  Sew closed ye strip o' sail.  Now ye have two pair o' straps for ye apron, smart as paint.
  2. Hem all sides o' ye apron shape.  Use two stitches for strength.  Press with ye hot iron and a bit o' steam after each hem.  Proceed in this bearing:
  • Top
  • Arm Holes
  • Bottom
  • Sides
A tip from Cap'n Toglefritz:  use pins to hold ye sail while sewing.    

Step 4: Attach Ye Straps to Ye Apron Body

Attach ye newly sewn straps to ye apron.  The  neck straps shall be placed atop the narrow part o' ye apron.  The back straps shall be sewn to the bottom o' the arm holes.

Step 5: Apply the Jolly Roger

It be now the time ter apply the Pirate Chef logo to ye apron.  The first order be to print the logo upon a full sheet o' parchment (or 8.5 x 11 inch fax paper).  Using ye X-Acto cutlas, use caution to cut the pattern from the parchment.  Save the skull's eyes n' nose, the inside shapes o' the hat and the circles from the knife.
Spread ye sail outside atop a derelict sheet for painting.  Take care and pin ye cut out Pirate Chef logo onto ye apron.  Use pins to fasten down every part o' the logo.  Cover ye apron with masking sail (tape).  Use a X-Acto cutlass to cut shapes out o' ye masking sail.  Then, batten down the hatches and begin spray painting o're the logo and cut-out shapes with ye Krylon spray paint musket.

Step 6:

Shiver me timbers!  Ye completed the apron; now it be the time ter rig up ye Pirate Chef Hat!  Be forewarned, making ye hat shall demand skills in mathematics...ARRRRGGG!  Once again, cut ye sail to a shape befitting ye hat.  Parley with the ledger upon this step.
Ye orders be these:
  1. Measure the distance around ye head.  To this measurement ye shall add 3 inches.  This shall be the length o' the sail rectangle.  Ye rectangle o' sail shall be 10 inches tall.
  2. Take ye head measure plus 3 inches and ye shall divide it by 6.28.  This shall be the radius o' the circle o' sail.  Cut a length o' rigging (string) of equal length of the radius.  Pin this rigging on its end ter ye sail.  Then, ye be ordered ter, spin the rigging, tracing its unpinned end, ter make a circle.

Step 7: Top O' Ye Hat

This step be a might slippery, but keep yer wits about ya and ye shall make port in sort order.  First, ye shall set ye sewing making to its longest stitch length.  Next, sew around the globe o' ye circle piece o' sail back-stitching only on one end.  Then, use caution to pull the loose end o' ye rigging so ye circle starts to bunch up.  Keep a steady course til the circumference be the same as the length o' ye rectangle o' sail.

Step 8: Rim O' Ye Hat

Now it be the time ter make the rim o' ye Pirate Chef Hat.  Ye first order be to take ye rectangle o' sail and hem the long sides.  Second, ye shall fold ye rectangle in half, short-ways, so that the hemmed sides be facing out.  Sew the short ends o' ye rectangle; now ye rectangle o' sail be a tube.  Fold ye tube in half and use ye iron ter press.

Step 9: Put Ye Hat Together


Your orders be these:  First, put the edge o' ye circle piece o' sail into the top o' ye tube and use pins ter hold it in place.  Second, ye shall use ye X-Acto cutlass ter cut small holes through ye tube and circle.  Use ye rivet musket ter fasten the pieces together.  Third, sew between the rivets.

Step 10: Paint Ye Hat


Print the patterns ye want on yer hat, the pictures shall be less than 3 inches tall.  Use ye X-Acto cutlass ter cut out ye pattern like before and pin her to ye hat.  A tip from Cap'n Toglefritz:  Put ye hat on a paper towel roll or rolled blanket to hold it steady.  Use masking sail ter cover the hat's rim.  Use ye Krylon spray paint musket ter paint ye pattern as before.  Then, hold ye paint musket 3 feet from ye hat and lightly spray, this shall create a speckled texture.

Step 11: Ye Be at Your Voyage's End


Congratulations, ye be now a Pirate Chef o' the seven seas.  Arm ye barbecue grill, start cookin' and enjoy ye summer.
Nice Ible, except for the language thing. The Ible would be significantly more useful if a (modern) English translation were made available. Soon?
Arrrr, most excellent. Can ye make a wee one for me parrot?

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Bio: Hello, my name is Toglefritz. That’s obviously not my real name; my real name is Scott, but on the Internet I use the nom ... More »
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