The Spanker

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Introduction: The Spanker

About: Living the Dream Coach life in Techshop San Jose

Folks, do you know anyone who is unruly, misbehaving, or just needs a good ol' spanking? Well I have just the right tool for you. Speaking of having the right  tools, did you know that Techshop offers a great place for anyone who is looking to build, hack, or invent? This project right here was made using one of Techshop's most popular tools. Can you guess what it is?  If you said a laser engraver then you are correct!!!

In this Instructable, I will show you how to build your own spanker. You can customize your own or use the Corel Draw file provided if you happen to be in a hurry to spank someone or yourself.

Step 1: What You Need

For this project, I used 2 different colors of acrylic. Choose 2 of your favorite colors. I've seen similar types of spanking paddles sold online with just a single sheet 1/4" acrylic. We will be using 3 separate layers to provide more mass and a more rigid paddle. I advise against the single layer paddles since they do shatter if you spank someone hard enough. Practice safe spanking.

Materials:

1x 1/8" acrylic  15x6

1x 1/4" acrylic 15x6

Acrylic Cement

Tools:

Clamps

Laser Etcher

Step 2: Lets Design

Here is the process I used to build this paddle. I chose Corel Draw since it was readily available. You folks can also use Adobe Illustrator to build your paddle.

The following photos will provide you with the steps I used. Scroll over the photos for steps.

After your design is complete, make sure you select "Hairline" in Corel Draw so that the laser knows which lines to cut out.

Step 3: Fire in the Hole!!! Its Time to Cut.

Here is the middle layer being cut out. This is the 1/8" piece. I leave the protective film on while I do my cuts.

Settings  for a 60w laser (your settings may vary)

Vector cut

Power 90
Speed 17
Freq. 5000

Step 4: Fire in the Hole Part Deux

Here is the 1/4" layer being cut. We going to cut 2 pieces out of this. These will be the "bread" of our sandwich. Again, do not peel off protective film.

Settings for a 60w laser (your settings may vary)

Vector cut

Power 90
Speed 12
Freq. 5000

Step 5: Time to Peel

Here are the 3 pieces laid out. Now its time to stack them on top of each other with the thinnest layer (1/8") in the middle. Make sure the design lines up and just peel the protective film from the sides that are going to be glued on.

Step 6: Glue and Clamp

Now we can use the acrylic cement to glue our pieces together. I find that a paint brush is the best way to apply the acrylic cement. You can do 2 pieces at a time or all 3. Once aligned, clamp the pieces together. Wait for it to set for at least 15 min.

Step 7: Peel the Outsides

Another reason for not peeling the protective film on the outside parts of the paddle is that just in case you spill acrylic cement or get some on your fingers, it will protect the outside finish of your paddle. So just peel it off after the acrylic cement dries and you have yourself a finished paddle.

Enjoy and have yourself a spanking good time!!

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    25 Comments

    couldn't using this be considered child abuse

    4 replies

    Kids these days need whoopings

    My father used a two-piece leather strap made to sharpen straight razors. It was about 2.5 inches wide and about 2 feet long. We never considered it abuse because most of the time we deserved it.

    I know a woman who says the same thing when her husband hits her.

    Here in Arizona it's absolutely legal for school teachers to physically punish their students. Just sayin.

    Not at all man. :)

    Somehow, I think this is intended for "Adult use" ;) Not child abuse.

    2 replies

    You got that right!!

    Physical Assault: for when good parenting is just too much work.

    Oh man I just had flashbacks of King of the Hill "Paddlin' Peg." I think spanking is still a relevant punishment. I only got a handfull when I was a child and only after other methods such as restriction and grounding didn't work. People are too sensitive these days, you need a couple calluses on your butt as a kid!

    2 replies

    sadly still a kid. this is an amazing instructable just i don't like the use


    unless i am holding it

    I agree. Most kids these days have no sense of discipline.

    any other CO2 laser will do

    no i meant i dont have a laser cutter can i use an x acto

    my dad made me pick my piece of metal after i took my shoes off >_> btw how is this a prank?????????????

    1 reply

    because these can be made as gag presents.

    Lot's of discussion tabout the legality of spanking children, which is entirely fair, but no one's mentioned that ACRYLIC is not a suitable material for spamking implements, it breaks too easily and can shatter leaving sharp shards, and you REALLY don't want that. The Laser should be able to cut other materials though, Rubber? Leather? you'd need to laminate 3 or 5 layers of the 3mm ply which seems common, but it's possible to do reliably.

    PLEASE don't use Acrylic, or if you must, be prepared for the consequences. Cut's and splinters aren't fun and could be expensive.