The Spanker

Folks, do you know anyone who is unruly, misbehaving, or just needs a good ol' spanking? Well I have just the right tool for you. Speaking of having the right  tools, did you know that Techshop offers a great place for anyone who is looking to build, hack, or invent? This project right here was made using one of Techshop's most popular tools. Can you guess what it is?  If you said a laser engraver then you are correct!!!

In this Instructable, I will show you how to build your own spanker. You can customize your own or use the Corel Draw file provided if you happen to be in a hurry to spank someone or yourself.

Step 1: What you need

For this project, I used 2 different colors of acrylic. Choose 2 of your favorite colors. I've seen similar types of spanking paddles sold online with just a single sheet 1/4" acrylic. We will be using 3 separate layers to provide more mass and a more rigid paddle. I advise against the single layer paddles since they do shatter if you spank someone hard enough. Practice safe spanking.

Materials:

1x 1/8" acrylic  15x6

1x 1/4" acrylic 15x6

Acrylic Cement

Tools:

Clamps

Laser Etcher

Comments

[frankie0517]

Somehow, I think this is intended for "Adult use" ;) Not child abuse.

[jumb5150]

You got that right!!

[woodstockbirdy]

Innuendo much.

[Scotttland]

Physical Assault: for when good parenting is just too much work.

[groundupart]

Oh man I just had flashbacks of King of the Hill "Paddlin' Peg." I think spanking is still a relevant punishment. I only got a handfull when I was a child and only after other methods such as restriction and grounding didn't work. People are too sensitive these days, you need a couple calluses on your butt as a kid!

[Pfarmkid]

sadly still a kid. this is an amazing instructable just i don't like the use


unless i am holding it

[jumb5150]

I agree. Most kids these days have no sense of discipline.

[wilgubeast]

[pdub77]

Classic. Well played, sir!

[yapoyo]

i dont have an epilog

[jumb5150]

any other CO2 laser will do

[yapoyo]

no i meant i dont have a laser cutter can i use an x acto

[GASSYPOOTS]

my dad made me pick my piece of metal after i took my shoes off >_> btw how is this a prank?????????????

[jumb5150]

because these can be made as gag presents.

[Dream Dragon]

Lot's of discussion tabout the legality of spanking children, which is entirely fair, but no one's mentioned that ACRYLIC is not a suitable material for spamking implements, it breaks too easily and can shatter leaving sharp shards, and you REALLY don't want that. The Laser should be able to cut other materials though, Rubber? Leather? you'd need to laminate 3 or 5 layers of the 3mm ply which seems common, but it's possible to do reliably.

PLEASE don't use Acrylic, or if you must, be prepared for the consequences. Cut's and splinters aren't fun and could be expensive.

[jumb5150]

This paddle is thick. It has 3 layers 2 x 1/4" and an 1/8" middle layer. If you break this paddle on someone clearly you are trying to beat them to death with it. I suggest a different tool. This thing has been tested and it will not break with normal use.

[h8864]

couldn't using this be considered child abuse

[mrmerino]

Here in Arizona it's absolutely legal for school teachers to physically punish their students. Just sayin.

[garypcom]

My father used a two-piece leather strap made to sharpen straight razors. It was about 2.5 inches wide and about 2 feet long. We never considered it abuse because most of the time we deserved it.

[BunnyGrrl69]

I have been BAD!!! Do you make house calls? ;)

[jumb5150]

It depends on your location but I can ship it to you anywhere. Of course, personal drop shipping is xtra ;-)

[BunnyGrrl69]

Would the personal drop shipping come with a demonstration on how to use the paddle?

[mrmerino]

Not mentioning The Simpsons? That's a Paddlin'.