Instructables
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Picture of The Spanker
Folks, do you know anyone who is unruly, misbehaving, or just needs a good ol' spanking? Well I have just the right tool for you. Speaking of having the right  tools, did you know that Techshop offers a great place for anyone who is looking to build, hack, or invent? This project right here was made using one of Techshop's most popular tools. Can you guess what it is?  If you said a laser engraver then you are correct!!!

In this Instructable, I will show you how to build your own spanker. You can customize your own or use the Corel Draw file provided if you happen to be in a hurry to spank someone or yourself.

 
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Step 1: What you need

Picture of What you need
For this project, I used 2 different colors of acrylic. Choose 2 of your favorite colors. I've seen similar types of spanking paddles sold online with just a single sheet 1/4" acrylic. We will be using 3 separate layers to provide more mass and a more rigid paddle. I advise against the single layer paddles since they do shatter if you spank someone hard enough. Practice safe spanking.

Materials:

1x 1/8" acrylic  15x6

1x 1/4" acrylic 15x6

Acrylic Cement

Tools:

Clamps

Laser Etcher

Step 2: Lets Design

Picture of Lets Design
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Here is the process I used to build this paddle. I chose Corel Draw since it was readily available. You folks can also use Adobe Illustrator to build your paddle.

The following photos will provide you with the steps I used. Scroll over the photos for steps.

After your design is complete, make sure you select "Hairline" in Corel Draw so that the laser knows which lines to cut out.

Step 3: Fire in the Hole!!! Its time to cut.

Picture of Fire in the Hole!!! Its time to cut.
Laser 2.jpg
Here is the middle layer being cut out. This is the 1/8" piece. I leave the protective film on while I do my cuts.

Settings  for a 60w laser (your settings may vary)

Vector cut

Power 90
Speed 17
Freq. 5000
h88643 years ago
couldn't using this be considered child abuse
jumb5150 (author)  h88645 months ago
Kids these days need whoopings
garypcom h88643 years ago
My father used a two-piece leather strap made to sharpen straight razors. It was about 2.5 inches wide and about 2 feet long. We never considered it abuse because most of the time we deserved it.
I know a woman who says the same thing when her husband hits her.
mrmerino h88643 years ago
Here in Arizona it's absolutely legal for school teachers to physically punish their students. Just sayin.
dr_peru5 months ago

Nice! I hope you don´t mind, that I added it to my Collection of kinky stuff :)

jumb5150 (author)  dr_peru5 months ago
Not at all man. :)
frankie05173 years ago
Somehow, I think this is intended for "Adult use" ;) Not child abuse.
jumb5150 (author)  frankie05173 years ago
You got that right!!
Innuendo much.
Scotttland3 years ago
Physical Assault: for when good parenting is just too much work.
groundupart3 years ago
Oh man I just had flashbacks of King of the Hill "Paddlin' Peg." I think spanking is still a relevant punishment. I only got a handfull when I was a child and only after other methods such as restriction and grounding didn't work. People are too sensitive these days, you need a couple calluses on your butt as a kid!
sadly still a kid. this is an amazing instructable just i don't like the use


unless i am holding it

jumb5150 (author)  groundupart3 years ago
I agree. Most kids these days have no sense of discipline.
yapoyo3 years ago
i dont have an epilog
jumb5150 (author)  yapoyo3 years ago
any other CO2 laser will do
yapoyo jumb51503 years ago
no i meant i dont have a laser cutter can i use an x acto
GASSYPOOTS3 years ago
my dad made me pick my piece of metal after i took my shoes off >_> btw how is this a prank?????????????
jumb5150 (author)  GASSYPOOTS3 years ago
because these can be made as gag presents.
Lot's of discussion tabout the legality of spanking children, which is entirely fair, but no one's mentioned that ACRYLIC is not a suitable material for spamking implements, it breaks too easily and can shatter leaving sharp shards, and you REALLY don't want that. The Laser should be able to cut other materials though, Rubber? Leather? you'd need to laminate 3 or 5 layers of the 3mm ply which seems common, but it's possible to do reliably.

PLEASE don't use Acrylic, or if you must, be prepared for the consequences. Cut's and splinters aren't fun and could be expensive.
jumb5150 (author)  Dream Dragon3 years ago
This paddle is thick. It has 3 layers 2 x 1/4" and an 1/8" middle layer. If you break this paddle on someone clearly you are trying to beat them to death with it. I suggest a different tool. This thing has been tested and it will not break with normal use.
BunnyGrrl693 years ago
I have been BAD!!! Do you make house calls? ;)
jumb5150 (author)  BunnyGrrl693 years ago
It depends on your location but I can ship it to you anywhere. Of course, personal drop shipping is xtra ;-)
Would the personal drop shipping come with a demonstration on how to use the paddle?
mrmerino3 years ago
Not mentioning The Simpsons? That's a Paddlin'.