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Step 3The Band of Bearded Brothers.
The Band of Bearded Brothers are an ancient group going back millennia. Jesus wasn't the first cool bearded guy, there was Moses before him and King Tut. Aristotle, and the genie from Aladin had beards too. Why this mysterious group emerged and what their goals are is unclear. Some believe they're a strange cult attempting to solve life's great questions in order to make it boring. Nonetheless let's meet our left hand associates.
1) Karl Marx
It's little known, but as a child Karl really enjoyed playing with his Meccano set and his parents believed he'd become an engineer. He even built the first electric guitar and started a band called K Marx the Spot. Things were looking good for Marx and his band. They had a new fresh sound and their first cafe jam was well received they left the venue with enough money for the tram back to town. Soon afterwards during plans of a country wide tour, the drummer's mom grounded him because "this music stuff wont get you anywhere in life". Thoroughly discouraged Karl set out to purify music by starting the "Real Musicians Don't Make Money" movement, which slowly evolved over time to what we would now consider the Communist movement.
2) President Garfield
President Garfield holds the distinction of being one of the four presidents who sported a beard. Current attitudes to beards would prevent a fully bearded man from spending more than an afternoon discussing oil wells at the White house. Garfield was not bearded as a youth, and became president once his beard fully matured. This is disappointing because he died six months later, thankfully we still have this nice picture saving his facial hair preferences forever.
3) Fidel Castro
May or may not be a zombie.
4) ZZ-Top
Over the top and thankfully not topless. These tip tapping horn tooters are tomorrows today. And their tintinnabulation displays the tambour of a different drummer. With beards that become bat caves and guitars that screech for scratch they are the rock of my roll. And how.
5) Frederick Douglass
Frederick Douglass shows us that your life may be a cup of unfiltered run off from the six street in San Francisco, but you can still be nominated as vice president to a ticket that's bound to lose - and look good while doing it. His fur was the envy of his white overseers and they often would attempt to shave him. But he escaped their treachery and grew a ferocious beard to top them all. This won him great esteem and is now on a stamp. Sweet.
1) Karl Marx
It's little known, but as a child Karl really enjoyed playing with his Meccano set and his parents believed he'd become an engineer. He even built the first electric guitar and started a band called K Marx the Spot. Things were looking good for Marx and his band. They had a new fresh sound and their first cafe jam was well received they left the venue with enough money for the tram back to town. Soon afterwards during plans of a country wide tour, the drummer's mom grounded him because "this music stuff wont get you anywhere in life". Thoroughly discouraged Karl set out to purify music by starting the "Real Musicians Don't Make Money" movement, which slowly evolved over time to what we would now consider the Communist movement.
2) President Garfield
President Garfield holds the distinction of being one of the four presidents who sported a beard. Current attitudes to beards would prevent a fully bearded man from spending more than an afternoon discussing oil wells at the White house. Garfield was not bearded as a youth, and became president once his beard fully matured. This is disappointing because he died six months later, thankfully we still have this nice picture saving his facial hair preferences forever.
3) Fidel Castro
May or may not be a zombie.
4) ZZ-Top
Over the top and thankfully not topless. These tip tapping horn tooters are tomorrows today. And their tintinnabulation displays the tambour of a different drummer. With beards that become bat caves and guitars that screech for scratch they are the rock of my roll. And how.
5) Frederick Douglass
Frederick Douglass shows us that your life may be a cup of unfiltered run off from the six street in San Francisco, but you can still be nominated as vice president to a ticket that's bound to lose - and look good while doing it. His fur was the envy of his white overseers and they often would attempt to shave him. But he escaped their treachery and grew a ferocious beard to top them all. This won him great esteem and is now on a stamp. Sweet.
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Jul 15, 2008. 11:43 AMgoldfishbutt
says:
Other good ones would have been Santa Claus, Chewie, Hemingway, Jesus, Gandalf, Chuck Norris, Che Guevara, and Abe Lincoln. :) Round 2?
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Jul 10, 2011. 5:59 AMlevitts
says:
Chuck Norris would be awesome. Did you know there's no chin under his beard, just another fist?
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