Vampire Hunting for Beginners

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Introduction: Vampire Hunting for Beginners

A step by step guide to hunting and destroying the undead lords of the night.

Step 1: Vampires

Vampires are bloodthirsty and cruel undead creatures who prey on the blood of the living.

They will suck blood out of the veins in your neck, kill your beloved, and generally make a mess of things with your blood all over the nice carpet.

And thus we need to hunt them down with extreme prejudices to ensure our own survival, and for fun and possibly profit.

This instructable will guide you through the basics of vampire hunting and before you know it you'll be able to bag yourself a bloodsucker just like buffy the vampire slayer or any other of those beautiful feminine slayers.

Step 2: Stakes Not Steaks Damnit!

The most important vampire killing tool is the humble stake.

A stake, (not to be confused with a steak) is a piece of sharpened wood that must be driven through a vampire's unbeating black heart in order to kill it.

see the pictures below for more information of the right kind of stake for the job.

Step 3: Garlic Is a Girl's Best Freind...

Garlic is very powerful for repelling vampires (and anything else with a nose), and so is the pinnacle of importance for aspiring vampire slayers.

You may want to try tanking up on garlic filled food before setting off, try for example a nice garlic studded pot roast or dab a few drops of eau de garlic on your tasty exposed neck.

Either way- take at least a few bulbs with you on any hunt unless you want to end up as vampire food.

Step 4: And Rinse!

As we all know from countless horror flicks, holy water goes through vampire flesh like beans through a goose, and thats what makes it so useful.

Throwing holy water on a vampire is the equivalent of chucking mr yuck on a kitten, not a pretty sight.

Nuff said, you can get this stuff from churches and apparently conveniently bottled on the internet.

Step 5: Crucifixes

Ah, the humble crucifix- who would have thought that a pair of sticks held together or a heavy wooden cross would have such excellent effects on the children of the night.

Don't bother trying silver on a vampire thats werewolves everybody! Slaying werewolves is a whole different thing and is the basis for a whole other instructable.

Step 6: Vamp or Goth?

The greatest danger in vampire hunting is that your target turns out to actually be just a quiet man with greasy hair and bad teeth who works a night shift.

Jumping and impaling such a man will result in imprisonment in most nations, believing someone to be a vampire is not a good excuse in court.

A good test is to leave a mirror in a place where you will see his reflection as he walks past it on one of his jaunts to find the juicy necks of young, blonde haired maidens.

Be sure that he is actually a vampire before you pounce.

Step 7: ''Our House, in the Midddle of Our Street...''

Never forget that your house is a safe refuge from the undead, unless of course you invite him in or you live in a free house or squat.

Although you are safe as long as you stay in your house, it is worth taking precautions such as putting garlic around door and window frames and not holding invite your friends parties.

If the fiendish dead find loopholes or trick you into inviting them in for a nice hot mug of borovan and a bit of chitchat then don't worry- you can always become a nun or monk.

Step 8: Your All Set to Go...

After reading this instructable you are all set to go and bag yourselves vamps at your leisure.

Please exercise a bit of caution in your hunting and never forget that there are many more creatures reserved for other instructables and not al of them are so esaily dispatched...

Step 9: Legal Gubbins

Some of the steps in this instructable may lead to injury or death, and are intended for comic purposes only, such as putting cleaners on cats (see step 4) or placing crucifixes in tins of raisins (see step 5).

I accept no responsibility for the consequences and/or results of any persons actions and in no way endorse the stabbing of pale, black haired individuals who have a morbid obsession with blood and death. This includes My Chemical Romance fans.

Keep your wits about you and exercise a bit of common sense and you'll be fine.

Thanks for reading my first instructable!

Happy Hunting!

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    236 Comments

    also don't think everyone who drinks blood is a vampire, they may be something of a kitsune ( a japanese fox spirit sometimes depicked as being vampiric) like me or something else. my point is "i is no mean teh harm 2 u".

    how dumb are some of you ,vampires may be stronger faster and agile than humans but still have weaknesses of them thats why they stalk their victims but most try not to kill vampires are not immortal they just age longer eventually if they do not get killed die their bodies stay the same and decompose just like humans to turn you must drink the blood of a vampire werewolves like me have the same lifespan as humans they are stronger faster and better senses than a human but are still killed the same just like vampires although we are stronger in a pack the alpha is always stronger like me werewolves dont turn full wolf unless they are a very powerful alpha. The only vampires that are immortal is the original 13 jesus and his 12 deciples

    3 replies

    How did you become a werewolf. ?

    Why would you want to be a mutt?

    whats wrong with being a wolf

    Hello everyone, in 2014 i wanted to become a vampire from one man in UK and he collected my money, and he did not make me a Vampire. In 2015 someone directed me to a vampire lord in Bulgaria and this man make me a vampire. I will advice anyone who want to become a vampire should contact Wallace Graham via email: wallec_graham@outlook.com the money who make a Vampire.Miss Jennet.

    1 reply

    r u a vampire

    Hello everyone, in 2014 i wanted to become a vampire from one man in UK and he collected my money, and he did not make me a Vampire. In 2015 someone directed me to a vampire lord in Bulgaria and this man make me a vampire. I will advice anyone who want to become a vampire should contact Wallace Graham via email: wallec_graham@outlook.com the money who make a Vampire.Miss Jennet.

    1 reply

    are u a vampire prietL

    Everyone that has ever said they were a vampire they are lying but that is not me sayng they arent real. they are 100%. but all of the people who think they know about vampires they are wrong crucifixes,holy water,garlic,silver dont work and if sunlight really did kill them do you really think that there would be any around today, they dont have transformation powers or super strength they arent even pale but one thing i can tell is all the people who truly beleive in vampires like i do dont stop because the world will always need hunters but one thing that people dont really understand is that the world needs vampires too

    5 replies

    At least someone believes and knows. bloodsucker420 is somewhat correct on some of that. To tell more about this. When we are in the sun for long periods of time. we will get very bad migraines. And we aren't able to live forever like in the movies. I don't like the fact that vampire hunters kill us vampires but someone has to keep this world in balance.
    And yes we can't transform, but we do partially inherit some traits of the animal we do respect the most. This is the most I can really say about this topic though. But good luck to you hunters. Because us vampires won't let you kill us so easily.

    read the night world series. apparently, there has been a leak in vampire info.

    couldnt have said it better.

    Seriously i was researching about Vampires....
    Are You really a Vampire???

    Easy way transformation to be a real life human vampire? Whatever your desire, we can fulfill it! Contact our Mystical Vampire Kingdom at vampiretransform@gmail.com for help. Be sure you want it, because there's no turning back... Our highly skilled vampires can alter your very essence, turning you into a real vampire. contact email: vampiretransform@gmail.com for help.

    I find it interesting to read about this from different viewpoints. It's really intriguing.

    Hello children. Not to squash your hopes and dreams of whatever, but you've got it wrong. I doubt that there is one true vampire here because if there was they would know the facts.
    The truth is that holy water, crosses, garlic, stakes and the like have no different an affect on vampires than they do on humans. A stake through the heart will kill a vampire the same as it will kill a human. Garlic does nothing but give vampires bad breath. These are just assumptions created by the Catholic Church many years ago to give people hope in believing that they can hold their own against vampires. Old vampires of the time were hardly ever real and went along with these stereotypes to get the hype up and to get publicity.
    Today, we know that a vampire still has the upper hand because attack is less common and gives the vampire the element of surprise. They are material and there is no magic involved. You can see them in a mirror and the whole nocturnal thing is another thing done for dramatic effect.
    Something scientific that is from the origin of these fake assumptions is that sunlight does have an effect. A vampire has a very high UV A and B count therefore being in the sun for a few hours can make them a little woozy or weak. The same thing happen to humans except it just happens faster for vampires. Emphasis on the HOURS; vampires will not instantly go into agony when coming into contact with the sun.
    Unlike in the movies, there is no blood lust all the time that brings a vampire to murder all the time. It is much like the hunger of a human. After a certain period of time they just get hungry and the only difference between humans and vampires on that aspect is what they have to take in to satisfy their needs.

    Hope this helps, and if you have ANY questions, please feel free to comment and I will do my best to answer,
    -Vladimir.

    2 replies

    Hello, are you still able to talk. I know its been years since you have been on year from what i see. if so please reply. Thank you.

    Dear Vladimir;

    I am impressed with your level of knowledge. Your ability to present information in a rational, non-threating manner is refreshing.

    The age of manners and grace is sadly missed by those who remember a quieter, gentler time.

    What do you advise when dealing with a vampire who has 'gone off the reservation'. I know there are certain cases in which it is not their fault.

    I would valule your reply and I thank you for taking the time...

    smith and jones