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Picture of Vampire Hunting For Beginners
A step by step guide to hunting and destroying the undead lords of the night.
 
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Step 1: Vampires

Picture of Vampires
Vampires are bloodthirsty and cruel undead creatures who prey on the blood of the living.

They will suck blood out of the veins in your neck, kill your beloved, and generally make a mess of things with your blood all over the nice carpet.

And thus we need to hunt them down with extreme prejudices to ensure our own survival, and for fun and possibly profit.

This instructable will guide you through the basics of vampire hunting and before you know it you'll be able to bag yourself a bloodsucker just like buffy the vampire slayer or any other of those beautiful feminine slayers.

Step 2: Stakes not steaks damnit!

Picture of Stakes not steaks damnit!
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The most important vampire killing tool is the humble stake.

A stake, (not to be confused with a steak) is a piece of sharpened wood that must be driven through a vampire's unbeating black heart in order to kill it.

see the pictures below for more information of the right kind of stake for the job.

Step 3: Garlic is a girl's best freind...

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Garlic is very powerful for repelling vampires (and anything else with a nose), and so is the pinnacle of importance for aspiring vampire slayers.

You may want to try tanking up on garlic filled food before setting off, try for example a nice garlic studded pot roast or dab a few drops of eau de garlic on your tasty exposed neck.

Either way- take at least a few bulbs with you on any hunt unless you want to end up as vampire food.

Step 4: And Rinse!

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As we all know from countless horror flicks, holy water goes through vampire flesh like beans through a goose, and thats what makes it so useful.

Throwing holy water on a vampire is the equivalent of chucking mr yuck on a kitten, not a pretty sight.

Nuff said, you can get this stuff from churches and apparently conveniently bottled on the internet.

Step 5: Crucifixes

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Ah, the humble crucifix- who would have thought that a pair of sticks held together or a heavy wooden cross would have such excellent effects on the children of the night.

Don't bother trying silver on a vampire thats werewolves everybody! Slaying werewolves is a whole different thing and is the basis for a whole other instructable.

Step 6: Vamp or Goth?

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The greatest danger in vampire hunting is that your target turns out to actually be just a quiet man with greasy hair and bad teeth who works a night shift.

Jumping and impaling such a man will result in imprisonment in most nations, believing someone to be a vampire is not a good excuse in court.

A good test is to leave a mirror in a place where you will see his reflection as he walks past it on one of his jaunts to find the juicy necks of young, blonde haired maidens.

Be sure that he is actually a vampire before you pounce.

Step 7: ''Our house, in the midddle of our street...''

Picture of ''Our house, in the midddle of our street...''
Never forget that your house is a safe refuge from the undead, unless of course you invite him in or you live in a free house or squat.

Although you are safe as long as you stay in your house, it is worth taking precautions such as putting garlic around door and window frames and not holding invite your friends parties.

If the fiendish dead find loopholes or trick you into inviting them in for a nice hot mug of borovan and a bit of chitchat then don't worry- you can always become a nun or monk.

Step 8: Your all set to go...

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After reading this instructable you are all set to go and bag yourselves vamps at your leisure.

Please exercise a bit of caution in your hunting and never forget that there are many more creatures reserved for other instructables and not al of them are so esaily dispatched...

Step 9: Legal Gubbins

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Some of the steps in this instructable may lead to injury or death, and are intended for comic purposes only, such as putting cleaners on cats (see step 4) or placing crucifixes in tins of raisins (see step 5).

I accept no responsibility for the consequences and/or results of any persons actions and in no way endorse the stabbing of pale, black haired individuals who have a morbid obsession with blood and death. This includes My Chemical Romance fans.

Keep your wits about you and exercise a bit of common sense and you'll be fine.

Thanks for reading my first instructable!

Happy Hunting!
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michaeli325 days ago

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Im having issue finding you. I'm interested in what your saying. Reply soon please

garlic and holy water doesNOT do that to vampires. They are simply like other people, and quite a few are Christian. Just to clear things up, vampires are living and breathing creatures as well.

Vampires live forever?
faithboo1111 month ago

My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.
faithboo1111 month ago

My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.
faithboo1111 month ago

My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.
faithboo1111 month ago

My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.
If anyone lives in lebanon, wateretown tennessee, a real vampire, and willing to turn ppl that ask you to turn them, plzz contact me at ericbuck2000@gmail.com i realy want to be a vampire.
ArxenZ2 months ago

Haha don't be fooled.

I've always wanted to be a vampire but everybody tells me they don't exist

they do

no lying please

ArxenZ2 months ago

lol nope

L1ght241 year ago

I will find each one of you and send you all straight to hell

why would you do that to us? Anyways, that's besides the point, because we won't let you find us that easily.

i what to be a slayer

we won't let you kill us so easily.

midnight5553 years ago
Not to burst anyones bubble or anything but most of this is complete nonsense. REAL vampires are not killed when they go into the sun some of the REAL vampires are slightly light sensitive and may get migraines if they are in the sun too long and holy water will not kill them it will just get them wet and probably annoy them. Fire will burn them, bullets will kill them and stabbing them through the heart will kill them like it would any normal HUMAN being. Vampires do not have to kill innocent humans to get blood in fact it is very easy to get blood without hurting anybody for example you could go to a restaurant and order rare or medium-rare steak as they contain quite a bit of blood and REAL vampire slayers do not kill a vampire as soon as they have spotted them. They will only kill a vampire if it has killed someone else or tried to drink their blood. One of my friends is a slayer and they have never tried to kill me in fact they have been very helpful in helping me find blood without having to kill or bite anyone. If anybody has any questions on vampires or vampire slayers i would be very happy to answer them just message me and i will get back to you asap.

FINALY someone who understands us. Vampires are not as ruthless as many make it appear. In fact, some vampires fangs don't even suck (the half-bloods) but instead they drink it. Most blood is donated and yes, vampire slayers are usually friends of a Vampires (sometimes of a mentally unstable Vamp to control them) im so glad to have found other people who get the true nature of us

So your a real vampire huh prove it but i must say i'm very curious about it tell me i want to know more about you and what you speak off names Reese

I, myself, am a half-vampire. (as in human mom/ vampire dad.) In my years, I have learned civiized, even POLITE ways to feed off of humans. First, you must have a willing volunteer. Then, you do not even bite their necks. You simply bite their wrist and drink from there. Some might argue that this does not give you good blood. Thos vampires are wrong. Try it with your hunter friend. BTW even I keep a wooden bokken to protect myself from the evil ones.
You are so very true. In fact most of us vampires get blood from donators.

do any vampires live in menomonie Wisconsin

I know a family in Waukesha Wisconsin

i may have te word gaming in my username but dont let that foll you ill make every

vampire pay for what thay have done to me

what have vampires done to you?

joy.max.94007 months ago

How do i become a vampire? this question is commonly ask. vampire are real and they live around you. if you want to become a real vampire. here is the solution to your heart desire. contact email: vampireworldcreed@gmail.com for information. Note only serious minded person needed. if you are not serious, do not contact us please. contact email: vampireworldcreed@gmail.com

to becomes vampires you have to have a blood trading with a real vampire. In other words,the vampire must drink your blood and then afterwards, you drink theirs. Simple as pie (except for the part where you find a willing REAL vampire)

eddy.lanky.97 months ago

By name Am Harry, i become a vampire because of the wicked world i was to live, the world is not fair to any body.things are made to happened when ever i want it to.i turn to a vampire any time i want to. am now a powerful man and no one step on me and goes free except they apologies. i read the mind of people and their thought.

i also turn to human at any time. and am one of the most respected man in my geography. my friend introduce me into a vampires spiritual666 by given me their email. am happy that my dream came through. if you want to become a powerful vampire kindly contact the vampires spiritual666 on their email: vampiresspiritualtemple666@gmail.com

Can u tell me more about vampires ?

JF.rprincess4 months ago

M very very fond of vampires , i wanna know more ! Can any REAL vamp help me know more?

johnd139 months ago

how dumb are some of you ,vampires may be stronger faster and agile than humans but still have weaknesses of them thats why they stalk their victims but most try not to kill vampires are not immortal they just age longer eventually if they do not get killed die their bodies stay the same and decompose just like humans to turn you must drink the blood of a vampire werewolves like me have the same lifespan as humans they are stronger faster and better senses than a human but are still killed the same just like vampires although we are stronger in a pack the alpha is always stronger like me werewolves dont turn full wolf unless they are a very powerful alpha. The only vampires that are immortal is the original 13 jesus and his 12 deciples

jacob626 johnd137 months ago
How did you become a werewolf. ?
ChilledS jacob6267 months ago
Why would you want to be a mutt?
VanpireP7 months ago

Hello welcome to (new-worldvampire kingdom.Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,haven talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture.this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.if you are interested contact us on our mail, vanpireprillia@gmail.com and you we have the knowledge of turning into vampire

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eddy.lanky.97 months ago

By name Am Harry, i become a vampire because of the wicked world i was to live, the world is not fair to any body.things are made to happened when ever i want it to.i turn to a vampire any time i want to. am now a powerful man and no one step on me and goes free except they apologies. i read the mind of people and their thought.

i also turn to human at any time. and am one of the most respected man in my geography. my friend introduce me into a vampires spiritual666 by given me their email. am happy that my dream came through. if you want to become a powerful vampire kindly contact the vampires spiritual666 on their email: vampiresspiritualtemple666@gmail.com

joy.max.94007 months ago

How do i become a vampire? this question is commonly ask. vampire are real and they live around you. if you want to become a real vampire. here is the solution to your heart desire. contact email: vampireworldcreed@gmail.com for information. Note only serious minded person needed. if you are not serious, do not contact us please. contact email: vampireworldcreed@gmail.com

joy.max.94007 months ago

How do i become a vampire? this question is commonly ask. vampire are real and they live around you. if you want to become a real vampire. here is the solution to your heart desire. contact email: vampireworldcreed@gmail.com for information. Note only serious minded person needed. if you are not serious, do not contact us please. contact email: vampireworldcreed@gmail.com

Everyone that has ever said they were a vampire they are lying but that is not me sayng they arent real. they are 100%. but all of the people who think they know about vampires they are wrong crucifixes,holy water,garlic,silver dont work and if sunlight really did kill them do you really think that there would be any around today, they dont have transformation powers or super strength they arent even pale but one thing i can tell is all the people who truly beleive in vampires like i do dont stop because the world will always need hunters but one thing that people dont really understand is that the world needs vampires too
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