Introduction: Vampire Hunting for Beginners

A step by step guide to hunting and destroying the undead lords of the night.

Step 1: Vampires

Vampires are bloodthirsty and cruel undead creatures who prey on the blood of the living.

They will suck blood out of the veins in your neck, kill your beloved, and generally make a mess of things with your blood all over the nice carpet.

And thus we need to hunt them down with extreme prejudices to ensure our own survival, and for fun and possibly profit.

This instructable will guide you through the basics of vampire hunting and before you know it you'll be able to bag yourself a bloodsucker just like buffy the vampire slayer or any other of those beautiful feminine slayers.

Step 2: Stakes Not Steaks Damnit!

The most important vampire killing tool is the humble stake.

A stake, (not to be confused with a steak) is a piece of sharpened wood that must be driven through a vampire's unbeating black heart in order to kill it.

see the pictures below for more information of the right kind of stake for the job.

Step 3: Garlic Is a Girl's Best Freind...

Garlic is very powerful for repelling vampires (and anything else with a nose), and so is the pinnacle of importance for aspiring vampire slayers.

You may want to try tanking up on garlic filled food before setting off, try for example a nice garlic studded pot roast or dab a few drops of eau de garlic on your tasty exposed neck.

Either way- take at least a few bulbs with you on any hunt unless you want to end up as vampire food.

Step 4: And Rinse!

As we all know from countless horror flicks, holy water goes through vampire flesh like beans through a goose, and thats what makes it so useful.

Throwing holy water on a vampire is the equivalent of chucking mr yuck on a kitten, not a pretty sight.

Nuff said, you can get this stuff from churches and apparently conveniently bottled on the internet.

Step 5: Crucifixes

Ah, the humble crucifix- who would have thought that a pair of sticks held together or a heavy wooden cross would have such excellent effects on the children of the night.

Don't bother trying silver on a vampire thats werewolves everybody! Slaying werewolves is a whole different thing and is the basis for a whole other instructable.

Step 6: Vamp or Goth?

The greatest danger in vampire hunting is that your target turns out to actually be just a quiet man with greasy hair and bad teeth who works a night shift.

Jumping and impaling such a man will result in imprisonment in most nations, believing someone to be a vampire is not a good excuse in court.

A good test is to leave a mirror in a place where you will see his reflection as he walks past it on one of his jaunts to find the juicy necks of young, blonde haired maidens.

Be sure that he is actually a vampire before you pounce.

Step 7: ''Our House, in the Midddle of Our Street...''

Never forget that your house is a safe refuge from the undead, unless of course you invite him in or you live in a free house or squat.

Although you are safe as long as you stay in your house, it is worth taking precautions such as putting garlic around door and window frames and not holding invite your friends parties.

If the fiendish dead find loopholes or trick you into inviting them in for a nice hot mug of borovan and a bit of chitchat then don't worry- you can always become a nun or monk.

Step 8: Your All Set to Go...

After reading this instructable you are all set to go and bag yourselves vamps at your leisure.

Please exercise a bit of caution in your hunting and never forget that there are many more creatures reserved for other instructables and not al of them are so esaily dispatched...

Step 9: Legal Gubbins

Some of the steps in this instructable may lead to injury or death, and are intended for comic purposes only, such as putting cleaners on cats (see step 4) or placing crucifixes in tins of raisins (see step 5).

I accept no responsibility for the consequences and/or results of any persons actions and in no way endorse the stabbing of pale, black haired individuals who have a morbid obsession with blood and death. This includes My Chemical Romance fans.

Keep your wits about you and exercise a bit of common sense and you'll be fine.

Thanks for reading my first instructable!

Happy Hunting!

Comments

author
JackG79 made it! (author)2016-06-28

also don't think everyone who drinks blood is a vampire, they may be something of a kitsune ( a japanese fox spirit sometimes depicked as being vampiric) like me or something else. my point is "i is no mean teh harm 2 u".

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johnd13 made it! (author)2014-11-02

how dumb are some of you ,vampires may be stronger faster and agile than humans but still have weaknesses of them thats why they stalk their victims but most try not to kill vampires are not immortal they just age longer eventually if they do not get killed die their bodies stay the same and decompose just like humans to turn you must drink the blood of a vampire werewolves like me have the same lifespan as humans they are stronger faster and better senses than a human but are still killed the same just like vampires although we are stronger in a pack the alpha is always stronger like me werewolves dont turn full wolf unless they are a very powerful alpha. The only vampires that are immortal is the original 13 jesus and his 12 deciples

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jacob626 made it! (author)jacob6262014-12-23

How did you become a werewolf. ?

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ChilledS made it! (author)ChilledS2014-12-28

Why would you want to be a mutt?

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LuckywolfG made it! (author)LuckywolfG2016-06-07

whats wrong with being a wolf

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PriestL made it! (author)2016-04-14

Hello everyone, in 2014 i wanted to become a vampire from one man in UK and he collected my money, and he did not make me a Vampire. In 2015 someone directed me to a vampire lord in Bulgaria and this man make me a vampire. I will advice anyone who want to become a vampire should contact Wallace Graham via email: wallec_graham@outlook.com the money who make a Vampire.Miss Jennet.

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LiamS32 made it! (author)LiamS322016-05-02

r u a vampire

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PriestL made it! (author)2016-04-14

Hello everyone, in 2014 i wanted to become a vampire from one man in UK and he collected my money, and he did not make me a Vampire. In 2015 someone directed me to a vampire lord in Bulgaria and this man make me a vampire. I will advice anyone who want to become a vampire should contact Wallace Graham via email: wallec_graham@outlook.com the money who make a Vampire.Miss Jennet.

author
LiamS32 made it! (author)LiamS322016-05-02

are u a vampire prietL

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bloodsucker420 made it! (author)2012-01-16

Everyone that has ever said they were a vampire they are lying but that is not me sayng they arent real. they are 100%. but all of the people who think they know about vampires they are wrong crucifixes,holy water,garlic,silver dont work and if sunlight really did kill them do you really think that there would be any around today, they dont have transformation powers or super strength they arent even pale but one thing i can tell is all the people who truly beleive in vampires like i do dont stop because the world will always need hunters but one thing that people dont really understand is that the world needs vampires too

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shadowbuilder2761 made it! (author)shadowbuilder27612013-10-01

At least someone believes and knows. bloodsucker420 is somewhat correct on some of that. To tell more about this. When we are in the sun for long periods of time. we will get very bad migraines. And we aren't able to live forever like in the movies. I don't like the fact that vampire hunters kill us vampires but someone has to keep this world in balance.
And yes we can't transform, but we do partially inherit some traits of the animal we do respect the most. This is the most I can really say about this topic though. But good luck to you hunters. Because us vampires won't let you kill us so easily.

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masonBith418 made it! (author)masonBith4182016-02-17

Hi are you able to talk?

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khenshaw5 made it! (author)khenshaw52013-10-28

read the night world series. apparently, there has been a leak in vampire info.

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RunaD made it! (author)RunaD2014-09-14

couldnt have said it better.

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Angel-of-Death made it! (author)Angel-of-Death2013-12-23

Seriously i was researching about Vampires....
Are You really a Vampire???

author
CarlosA54 made it! (author)2015-12-15

Easy way transformation to be a real life human vampire? Whatever your desire, we can fulfill it! Contact our Mystical Vampire Kingdom at vampiretransform@gmail.com for help. Be sure you want it, because there's no turning back... Our highly skilled vampires can alter your very essence, turning you into a real vampire. contact email: vampiretransform@gmail.com for help.

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Kaien910 made it! (author)2015-11-28

I find it interesting to read about this from different viewpoints. It's really intriguing.

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Dmitri Lakove made it! (author)2010-12-16

Hello children. Not to squash your hopes and dreams of whatever, but you've got it wrong. I doubt that there is one true vampire here because if there was they would know the facts.
The truth is that holy water, crosses, garlic, stakes and the like have no different an affect on vampires than they do on humans. A stake through the heart will kill a vampire the same as it will kill a human. Garlic does nothing but give vampires bad breath. These are just assumptions created by the Catholic Church many years ago to give people hope in believing that they can hold their own against vampires. Old vampires of the time were hardly ever real and went along with these stereotypes to get the hype up and to get publicity.
Today, we know that a vampire still has the upper hand because attack is less common and gives the vampire the element of surprise. They are material and there is no magic involved. You can see them in a mirror and the whole nocturnal thing is another thing done for dramatic effect.
Something scientific that is from the origin of these fake assumptions is that sunlight does have an effect. A vampire has a very high UV A and B count therefore being in the sun for a few hours can make them a little woozy or weak. The same thing happen to humans except it just happens faster for vampires. Emphasis on the HOURS; vampires will not instantly go into agony when coming into contact with the sun.
Unlike in the movies, there is no blood lust all the time that brings a vampire to murder all the time. It is much like the hunger of a human. After a certain period of time they just get hungry and the only difference between humans and vampires on that aspect is what they have to take in to satisfy their needs.

Hope this helps, and if you have ANY questions, please feel free to comment and I will do my best to answer,
-Vladimir.

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masonBith418 made it! (author)masonBith4182015-11-22

Hello, are you still able to talk. I know its been years since you have been on year from what i see. if so please reply. Thank you.

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smithandjones made it! (author)smithandjones2011-10-28

Dear Vladimir;

I am impressed with your level of knowledge. Your ability to present information in a rational, non-threating manner is refreshing.

The age of manners and grace is sadly missed by those who remember a quieter, gentler time.

What do you advise when dealing with a vampire who has 'gone off the reservation'. I know there are certain cases in which it is not their fault.

I would valule your reply and I thank you for taking the time...

smith and jones

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Dmitri Lakove made it! (author)Dmitri Lakove2011-10-28

Dear Smith and Jones,

I thank you for your gracious comments and I am therefore inclined to help you on your quest for knowledge, you sound like you already have a good understanding of things.

Well that kind of problem has to be done very personally and has to be specific to the one individual, there is no set way to help every different person so I'll need details.

please get back to me as soon as possible for I would like to help.

-Vladimir

author
smithy0016 made it! (author)smithy00162012-04-20

dear dmitri'
it seems that you are well knowledged about vampires, so i am asking for your help. i suspect that someone in my neighbourhood may infact be a vampire.
i have scouted him out on a couple of occasions and have recently seen my most disturbing and clear evidence. tonight i intend to do the same but this time i intend to find actual hard evidence and post what i find, wish me luck and details that u know that i dont please tell!

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smithandjones made it! (author)smithandjones2011-10-28

Dear Vladmir;

Our background knowledge has led us to believe it is impossible for Human DNA to facilicate a vampire turning into a bat, a wolf, etc. Most matter is locked by this code.

We have found situations in which an life form can change-viruses are an excellent example of a force affecting and changing a life form. Organic functions change-organ activity increases, or decreases, changing the life forms abities. However this takes time such as in Gene mutation..
Evolution would have us believe, given enough time-anything is possible.
We are not fully convinced. Of couse as we are finite beings, our perceptions of time may be at fault.

We write this as a platform from which to proceed in our discussions.
We are interested in your thoughts regarding the above.

The situation of the vampire 'going off the res', was a test question. It was necessary to help us determine how we would communicate with you. It was not a value test [right/wrong. good answer/bad answer]. Rather it was to determine how we may best communicate.
We did not mean for you to jump through a hoop-far from that.

Part of our function is as 'Watchers'. We are netural-do not take sides. We do this because this is what we were called to do. We did not look for this, it found us.

Our research and experiences lead us to believe a terrible 'storm is on the horizon. We believe our planet and it's life forms are at terrible risk. This is why we sought public channels.
Humanity in all its wonder stands at a crossroad. With the push of a button, the careless spill of a biological agent, our world could cease to exist.
We must socially evolve past our animal passion responses and seek peaceful methods to deal with our challenges.

To make matters more complicated, there is a lack of balance in the spiritual/physical planes.
Throughout history, Humanity has believed there is a balance to the World and the Universe. We also believe in this balance. However, 90 percent bad, 10 percent good is a balance. It has never been 50/50. That is a myth leaders tell people to calm them and perserve the system in place at the time.
We are finding the balance steadly changing for the worse.

Recently we have discovered many leaders in the world do not have faith that Humanity will survive. There are a few who do not care-beyond their own live cycles. There are some who seem to welcome the end.

How all this affects you, us, others, is simple. We are all stuck on 'the third rock from the Sun;.

We are all over the map in this reply. Forgive us...

With respect,
Smith and Jones

author
bangeldemon made it! (author)bangeldemon2011-11-17

-.-' um vampires can never be truely killed and sometimes vampires don kill the person they usely just clear there thoughts of ever meeting them!if any of you met avampire and knew how they felt or cared to see if they had feelings youd know the stroy of a vampire!!!!!=.= and sunlight doesnt bug vampires >.> they train in it....alot...>.> i refuses to tell how i got this INFO!

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Sharkywerevampire made it! (author)Sharkywerevampire2011-10-23

those are human vampires. that means they don't relate to ACTUAL vampires in any way except their want for blood.

author
TheEngineerGirl made it! (author)2015-05-19

garlic and holy water doesNOT do that to vampires. They are simply like other people, and quite a few are Christian. Just to clear things up, vampires are living and breathing creatures as well.

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masonBith418 made it! (author)masonBith4182015-11-22

@TheEngineerGirl i need your help

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masonBith418 made it! (author)masonBith4182015-11-22

Hi are you there?

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MarkoV4 made it! (author)MarkoV42015-07-05

Vampires live forever?

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dernersessian made it! (author)2015-11-21

I’m Noel Dernersessian from the United States, I want share with you how
i became a vampire. this something i have dream of all my life and i
said to myself that i we do and give anything to belong to this family.
Today with the help of Mr. Enrique am a full member of that family
today. All i need was a blood to turn and him provided me with that and
today and stronger, faster, hear from afar and many other qualities all
thanks to him. If you dream of becoming one here is his contacts
worldofvampir@hotmail.com

10430_101468406540052_4033825_n.jpg
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glant45 made it! (author)2015-11-07

One should not aim to be a vampire, immortality is a Curse. Imagine never growing old while your loved ones died around you . Only make the change if your willing to sacrifice everything. Unless your like me and your looking to turn because you have something to protect and would sacrifice anything to do it. Truth is I need this sacrifice to protect what I love even if it has to be from the shadows. If you could help me turn contact me at perseusliberty@gmail.com. vampires aren't evil. I'm just saying if your gonna turn do so with honor because once you change there is gonna be a lot of sacrifice. If you could help me or even turn me id do anything even bargain for it. Id even grovel and beg. I have those I need to protect and would sacrifice my life to do it.

author
CarlosA54 made it! (author)2015-09-01

Do you want to be a real vampire? Whatever your desire, we can fulfill it! Contact our Mystical Vampire Kingdom at vampirekingdom999@gmail.com for help. Be sure you want it, because there's no turning back... Our highly skilled vampires can alter your very essence, turning you into a real vampire. contact email: vampirekingdom999@gmail.com for help.

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waynerowley3981 made it! (author)waynerowley39812015-10-27

Yes can you really do it

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vamplover made it! (author)vamplover2015-10-03

I would very much like to become a vampire.

author
CarlosA54 made it! (author)CarlosA542015-10-19

Do you want to be a real vampire? Whatever your desire, we can fulfill it! Contact our Mystical Vampire Kingdom at vampiretransform@gmail.com for help. Be sure you want it, because there's no turning back... Our highly skilled vampires can alter your very essence, turning you into a real vampire. contact email: vampiretransform@gmail.com for help.

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Vampire lover made it! (author)Vampire lover2015-09-10

Please I want to become a vampire I love in Pakistan and want to become one of you please I know the consequences and I agree with it

author
CarlosA54 made it! (author)2015-10-19

Do you want to be a real vampire? Whatever your desire, we can fulfill it! Contact our Mystical Vampire Kingdom at vampiretransform@gmail.com for help. Be sure you want it, because there's no turning back... Our highly skilled vampires can alter your very essence, turning you into a real vampire. contact email: vampiretransform@gmail.com for help.

author
faithboo111 made it! (author)2015-06-27


My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.

author
faithboo111 made it! (author)2015-06-27


My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.

author
faithboo111 made it! (author)2015-06-27


My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.

author
faithboo111 made it! (author)2015-06-27


My Name is Kelly Williams from Canada, i turn to a vampire any time i want to, I become a real vampire because of how people treat me, This world is a wicked world and not fair to any body. At the snack of my finger things are made happened. Am now a powerful vampire and no one step on me without an apology goes free. I turn to human being also at any time i want to. And am one of the most dreaded and respected person in my country. i am now also very famous and rich with the help of the VAMPIRES EMPIRE. i get what ever a want. i become a vampire through the help of my friend who introduce me into a vampire Kingdom by given me their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com, if you want to become a powerful and a real vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email: templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com for help. it is real. Contact them today. templeofsuccessandlove1@gmail.com.

author
ericbuck2000 made it! (author)2015-06-26

If anyone lives in lebanon, wateretown tennessee, a real vampire, and willing to turn ppl that ask you to turn them, plzz contact me at ericbuck2000@gmail.com i realy want to be a vampire.

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ArxenZ made it! (author)2015-05-23

Haha don't be fooled.

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emovampirelover345 made it! (author)2014-11-03

I've always wanted to be a vampire but everybody tells me they don't exist

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TheEngineerGirl made it! (author)TheEngineerGirl2015-05-19

they do

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ArxenZ made it! (author)ArxenZ2015-05-23

no lying please

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ArxenZ made it! (author)2015-05-23

lol nope

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L1ght24 made it! (author)2014-01-27

I will find each one of you and send you all straight to hell

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TheEngineerGirl made it! (author)TheEngineerGirl2015-05-19

why would you do that to us? Anyways, that's besides the point, because we won't let you find us that easily.

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analinda.orlickas made it! (author)2014-07-28

i what to be a slayer

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