Vodka Clementines

*cue pitchpipe*

Oh my darlin', Oh My Darlin', OH MY DARLIN! Vodka Clementines, Now I'm drunk and drunk forever, on my vodka clementines.

*Ahem.*

This is how you make vodka Infused clementine oranges. Perfect for games, concerts, picnics, bike rides, art outings, boating, ~~shark~~ trout fishing, quiet times with a book, and with that "special someone" who likes oranges and booze.

Its like a nom-able, portable sex on the beach - even if you are a flatlander.

Spooky addition: toss in some red flavoured jello cubes into the presentation bowl (even vodka jigglers!) and you end up with a bowl of tasty, bloody, alcohol laden tumors!

Step 1: Get naked.

Or rather, sweet talk the box of clementines into showing a little skin for you. Be brutal and devious if you need to, but avoid a slasher film style since that makes a pulpy mess. Even if the pulp here, isn't fiction.

Fill a tupperware container, with as many of these as you wish to eat and share. This was a 2 liter tupperware, with almost a full crate of clementines, and a huge bottle of cheap vodka.

Put the little clementines in the tupperware. If you have 3 days until your party feel free to leave them whole. This makes for a novel approach, and adds an extra layer of interactivity. In this case I only had a day and a half. (Or if the box of fruit is going south, go for the pieces, and toss any that aren't happy and unsmooshed).

Step 2: It puts the vodka in the tupperware...

Fill'er up! leave a bit of room for flavour enhancers if you are thusly inclined.

Step 3: Get cooked.

In a tiny saucepan, mix up some sugar (1 c), orange juice (vehicle - you could use any juice or vodka), lemon, lime juice and stir on low heat until the sugar is dissolved. You can also experiment with vanilla and other extracts to shift and enhance the clementine's flavours. (I mean this is your sex on the beach, so if you want to get bitten by crabs, go for it!)

If you go for adding other fruits, consider grapes and other resilient fruit. that won't break down in the curing process. Also the more fruit, the less potent the clementines are...

Allow the mix to cool slightly

Step 4: It adds the enhancer to the mixture.

Pour in the optional flavour enhancer mixture and distribute it among the clementines and vodka.

It will make it cloudy with its deliciousness. Though it is completely acceptable to be a purist.

Step 5: Put a lid on it and chill out.

This is the waiting part.

You put the lid on your tupperware and seal it up proper-like, and then shove it in the fridge on a Tuesday or Wednesday and remove it on a Friday or a Saturday... Unless you party on a Thursday, in which case start on a Sunday... or whatever works for you.

Then go out and do something awesome, ride a bike, read a book, dance like no one is watching, sew something, solder something, go.

GO!

Step 6: Dregs! And EAT!

After your time, you will have tasty things. you need to then filter off the liquid, and pour it back into a bottle. In this case i used a funnel and poured it back into the vodka bottle. I would be sure to use a strainer to remove any bits of white floaty clementine skins -- since if you aren't involved in the process, its a bit unsettling to have weird bits floating in your drink.

At this point I believe you have a premixed cocktail. The vodka-liquid is much weaker than it was when we began on this journey. So bring the liquid to the party too... Add some lemon-lime soda, and voila! Fooffy lady drinks with none of the fooffy prep time!

NOW!
Eat the clementines, and pass them around, far and wide, and pace yourself. One clementine equals a at least a shot of vodka -- so make sure they are clearly marked and that no one feeds them to any children. They will go bad in a few days -- so make sure that you distribute them.

If you have any left over, you can break them into slices, and then stack them on layers of plastic wrap/ tinfoil, and freeze them for a slushy summer treat/hair of the dog.

brothershine says: Dec 5, 2009. 5:03 AM

Thanks for this, I just found it. Oranges are very cheap here in Brazil, and the summer and Carnival are coming. What a great beach day treat. Have a good one.

haptotrope (author) in reply to brothershineDec 5, 2009. 6:11 AM

its extra awesome if you can keep them cold. -- and you can also do them in whole balls, for slightly less potent, or keep them in the fridge for a little bit longer...