Instructables
I go to a little work college somewhere near nowhere.  Everyone there works for the college at least fifteen hours a week, in addition to keeping up with their academic obligations.  It's great.  I work in the Community Bike Shop, fixing bikes, helping students build bikes, and teaching bike repair skills.

Lately, it's been cold here in the mountains, and fewer people have been out riding their bikes, which means that fewer people are out breaking their bikes, too.  One morning, I had a long, long shift, but nothing to do.  All my ongoing projects were stalled, and the only bikes in the shop were either waiting on ordered parts or done and waiting for their owners to come pick them up.  So what to do?  Well, a few days earlier, the recycling crew had dropped off a big pile of rusty parts bikes, among them a little kiddie bike with sixteen inch wheels.  I made it my mission, that shift, to do something dumb with it.  The result: the Drunk Bike, AKA The Carnivore.

I'm entering this Instructable in the Epilog Laser Contest because I love power tools, and because a laser (or a welder for that matter) would help me fill the world with more silly things and lighten the mood around here a little more.
 
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Step 1: What You Will Need

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Should you actually choose to build your own dumb/drunk bike, it is unlikely that you will have exactly the same frame and other parts available to you, so this is a bit general.

Things you will need:
A kiddie bike frame with cranks and back wheel
A set of flat mountainbike handlebars
A seat and mounting hardware
A 24" fork and wheel
A compatible stem
Some totally rad handlebars, ape-hangers if possible (I didn't have any lying around)
Various wrenches and hex keys
Grease

Things you may need:
Metal shims
A hacksaw
A lock-ring wrench

Things that are quite useful:
Calipers
A bicycle repair stand
Bins full of parts
An assistant
A healthy sense of the absurdity of the project you're undertaking
Why do you have that caliper brake on the seat post if it has coaster brakes? confused, hehe.
The bike was equipped with both caliper and coaster brakes on the back wheel. I figured the more ways to stop the silly thing, the better.
bike_jack3 years ago
did you make this gem into a FIXIE?!
TheMadTinker (author)  bike_jack3 years ago
No, it's got a coaster brake. I suppose that I could have made it into a fixie if I'd had a spare track hub lying around and any inclination to build a very small fixed gear wheel.
Plagueology3 years ago
You could get some extra money if you still had access to all those spare parts and tools. After a paint job and some personal branding, you could sell more crazy, outrageous, bike beasts to the public for a pretty penny.
Dude my very first bike was a carnivore JUST like that one, and i still have it! Haha, if i wasn't sure about building this at first, that definitely made me want to build one 20 times more, lol.
franki113 years ago
You must be learning something useful at school as you writing (instructions) are very coherent.
TheMadTinker (author)  franki113 years ago
Thank you; given that I'm a writing major, I should hope that I can clearly and coherently write instructions for doing something silly.
atmooney3 years ago
That is a sweet bike. You take it off any sweet jumps yet? Love it!
"you got like three feet of air that time"
Hee, Hee! Makes me wish I hadn't hauled off all my little bike frames! I bet this is a blast to ride!!!
willdeh23 years ago
I built one of these in middle school. It was pretty sweet, I had a guy offer me 40 bucks for it. Stupidest offer I've ever declined...

The thing is very difficult to ride. You can't lean back at all. It is a real chick-magnet though.
rider7283 years ago
i think i can speak for everyone when i say that we definitely need to see some youtube footage of this thing in action. preferably on a downhill slope of some kind.
Ugifer rider7283 years ago
I second this motion.
I third the motion.
5th'd.
I 6th this motion to view bike in motion.
+1
TheMadTinker (author)  juanvi3 years ago
Your requests have all been fulfilled.
I seventh this motion.
TheMadTinker (author)  rider7283 years ago
I'm getting on it. I was hoping to have one up when I first posted this, but, being alone in the shop, I could either ride the bike or video it, but not both.
may i suggest a longer frame before any downhill excursions? lol learnt from a friend's mistake
i fourth this motion
Jaxxsyn3 years ago
hey man, i've been riding my Big Wheel for years. it's badass, and always turns heads when i'm riding down the street. riding my third variation of a Big Wheel, first 2 were more a feeling out process on how to actually make it work. second one had ape hangers and everything. kids love it, and adults have a blast riding it, so maybe the absurd like us is just what this world needs lol.
Jaxxsyn Jaxxsyn3 years ago
My third Big Wheel attempt. Works great, rides like it's following a rail.
big wheel.jpg
TheMadTinker (author)  Jaxxsyn3 years ago
If I didn't have to rely on the auto shop for welds, I'd alter the geometry to make it a bit more stable. Whatever the case, it makes the world just a bit weirder, and that's a noble thing, even if my campus is pretty weird already.
i never once changed the geometry of the frames, i just used different styles. first was a Shinamo mtb, second was a Diablo bmx, and the last is an antique cruiser.
PKM3 years ago
I used to build these with friends when we were too young for drinking and motorbikes :)

We called them "clown bikes" and tried to keep as much as possible stock- white crumbly tyres on the back wheel, keep the original bars, seat and seat post, and the girlier the back half looked the better. They were, as you say, a blast to ride but had a nasty tendency to wheelie out of control and bang your tailbone on the road >_<
TOCO3 years ago
Cool, My friends and I used to make bikes like this all the time. We even managed to get a clown bike and modify it. It was so fun to ride but you got nowhere.

This is like the clown bike we had.
http://cdn2.auctions.overstock.com/aimages/d/0/3/995/39957440_1.jpg
Shiseiji3 years ago
Just grand! We have so much, uh, "stuff" hanging around our co-op, this will be something to play with one of the remaining cool winter nights. If anyone is around Alexandria, VA check out the VeloCity Co-op in Old Town on the George Washington Trail. See if you can put one together!

htttp://velocitycoop.org

Ron
(The one with "Ron" on the back of his shirt)
jhonny3 years ago
cool bike i have to make it one day.
BtheBike3 years ago
seatpost = touch of mashup brilliance .
gotta get me 1 of those caliper measuring thingys
ElvenChild3 years ago
lol I buit something like this in the bas when my back tire had a flat and another bikes front had a flat it was awesome except the peddles would scrape the ground
If you did it the opposite then it'd go faster and be sorta like a big wheel.

or just a kiddie wheel in the front with its own fork, and giant handle bars.
kyle.marsh3 years ago
Reminds me of something I saw at Burning Man last year. Someone took a fairly normal adult-sized bike and replaced the rear wheel with a much smaller wheel. That altered his posture from "leaning over the handlebars" to "leisurely riding down the street while fully upright."
i need/want one
aeray3 years ago
Warren Wilson?
TheMadTinker (author)  aeray3 years ago
Fact.
I considered it, a few years ago.
i made something like that but the rear part off the frame was a scooter with a 16'' front wheel