Introduction: Ye Olde Aprile Fools Prankes!

Hark men and wenches and children of all ages!

Enscribed within this tome is the knowledge required to pranketh all of thine friend and foes alike. Using one of these four pranks (or perhaps more, depending on thine fool) thou can maketh an Aprile Fool of any of thine peers.

Come hither and chooseth the best pranke for thine means.

Step 1: Ye Olde Immovable Blade!

For this age olde pranke, thou must acquire no less than a dozen and two egg whites and a yarn of kelp. By mixing yon essences, thou can procure an elexir by the name of glué, that will bindeth two objects together. Apply the glué around the top of thine Aprile Fool's scabbard and closeth the blade. Waiteth no less than half a dozen hours. When thine Aprile Fool next goes to open yonder blade, he will findeth his hilt stuck to his scabbard!

Once jovial amusement has been had, revealeth to thine mark his status as the Aprile Fool and removeth the substance from yonder blade by exposing to warm water.

Step 2: Ye Olde Dog Bait!

This pranke was brought to the King's England over half a century ago by the Romans. Selecteth thine Aprile Fool, and whilst he slumbers painteth his surcoat and pantaloons in the juices of freash cow meat. To make this pranke even more effective, slice the leftover meat and have thine wench soweth yonder meat into the folds of thine Aprile Fool's cape. In the morrow, inform thine mark that he has an audience with the local Priest and must depart post haste.

Once thou have enjoyed the sight of thine Aprile Fool making haste down yonder street whilst being persued by the locale strays, it wouldst be polite to washeth yon garments with a lime solution, or even purchase new ones.

Step 3: Ye Olde Golden Ram!

This pranke is derived from an olde confidence tricke. For this pranke, thou wilt need to mixeth grounde Iron Pyrite (easily purchased from thine local alchemist) with flour and milk and useth the substance to cover the coat of a ram to giveth the ram a golden appearance. After the ram is dry, haveth a local stable boy (so as not to arouseth thine fool's suspicion) approach thine Aprile Fool and proposition a sale of the golden ram. Be sure to get a good price for the ram and be sure to giveth yonder stable boy a handsome sum for his worketh.

Because silver is involved in this pranke, to avoid the ire of thine Aprile Fool's peers, be sure to useth the money to purchase ale at thine locale Tavern whilst sharing a heary laugh at thine Fool's expense.

Step 4: Ye Olde Mount Throw!

Originally a soldier's technique, this pranke will leave thine Aprile Fool feeling weak in his legs, and his whole body for that matter! Whilst thine Fool prowleth the town atop his steed, haveth a beautiful wench approacheth and distract his attention whilst thou attach his mount to a nearby obstacle with the use of rope. Shaketh with laughter as thine Aprile Fool darts off to impress yonder wench and is thrown from his horse much to his embarassment.

Be sure to approacheth the beast carefully, lest ye be kicked by it's hind legs and it will then be thou that meets yonder ground.

Step 5: Ye Olde Disclaimer!

Please do noteth:

All details contained within this instructable are for entertainment purposes only.

The images were created using the Historic Tale Construction Kit.

If you enjoyed this instructble, please vote!

Comments

author
fluffy owl made it! (author)2016-08-02

This is the funniest thing I've read here in a long time so here's some silly verse:

Verily, I didst near mine baldric split

With mirth; for Sir, you truly are a wit;

Thine japes and jollies, finest funne

But link is lost, and now is gone.

author
godfreyandthandi made it! (author)2009-08-11

this had got to be the most un-readable instrcutable ever!

author
Iridium7 made it! (author)Iridium72010-03-09

 Try the one with all Caps.

author
evangelist2010 made it! (author)evangelist20102015-01-30

I thinkest thou ment to say to the gentleman that "Thou should tryeth disterning the meaning of the instructibleth text that be enscribeth in all caps."

author
Viali Jones made it! (author)2014-04-02

I thank thee heartily for thine wondrous instruction. In thy footsteps shall I followeth thee in mine queste to become a Jester of the finest rank. Forsooth- harken yonder - I heareth the sounde of angry men and hounds over yonder hille! Fly and saveth thyself - I shall followeth thee presently, for I am swift of foot and nimble of escape.

author
GASSYPOOTS made it! (author)2012-03-23

ye be thy funne prankstre

author
Plo Koon made it! (author)2011-04-22

Yonder instructble has madeth thy viewer haveth a good giggleth.

author
monsterlego made it! (author)monsterlego2011-07-23

Amen, brutha

author
supertoria12 made it! (author)2011-05-05

Alchemy! Huzzah!! But shall I be a foole for inquiring, but shall it be easier to have the alchemist juste turneth the woole of thine animale to golde?

author
Plo Koon made it! (author)2011-04-22

"Because silver is involved in this pranke, to avoid the ire of thine Aprile Fool's peers, be sure to useth the money to purchase ale at thine locale Tavern whilst sharing a heary laugh at thine Fool's expense."





Very sensitive.

author
Plo Koon made it! (author)2011-04-22

I liketh thy spellage of "glue".

author
Plo Koon made it! (author)2011-04-22

I like how you put e's on the end of words to make them look like old spellings

author
Plo Koon made it! (author)2011-04-22

Actualy, it would be "thy peers". Not "thine". "Thy" = "your", "thine" = "yours".

author
chinese basterd made it! (author)2009-08-11

could you talk in this century

author
ninja of suburbia made it! (author)ninja of suburbia2011-03-29

nay knurlish oaf, for so to do wouldst be to ruin the fun of yon pranks.

author
lycoris3 made it! (author)lycoris32010-03-31

Nay, for today's vernacular does not befit the humor of this epistle to the known world.  However, thou must admit this writing is very humorous indeed if thou knowest the way in which we speak/write/type.  

author
tanmanknex made it! (author)tanmanknex2010-04-01

Yea, this form of speaking is quite interesting, and doest bring about much joy in mineself and in mine friendselfs.  Indeed, it hast been an interesting form of writing, which some may call humorous, if they so wish.

author
darby0malley made it! (author)darby0malley2010-03-01

Thou art the fool
its all in keeping in spirit of the instructable

author
ArvindTheNinja made it! (author)2009-07-11

(removeth by author or community request-eth)

author
lycoris3 made it! (author)lycoris32010-04-21

(twas removed by much yelling and beating of a drum on yonder hill by said wordsmith or the communities horrific yowls in thin ear)

author
octavian234 made it! (author)octavian2342009-07-26

wow even the removal request above was written in the 16th century

author
lycoris3 made it! (author)2010-03-31

Aye, humorous thou be indeed.  V stars from Heavens Court are thine.

author
Koosie made it! (author)2010-03-16

Brilliant!

Thou hath created a guide-eth worthy of King Arthur!  Now he long-eth needs his royal-eth court jester-eth!

author
XOIIO made it! (author)2010-03-16

Yonder actually means over there.

author
Biggsy made it! (author)2010-01-30

Verily though hast amused me muchly... I shall sendeth a squire to recount your merry japes to my comrades in the land of Facebook....Hark oh what bountiful joys come from the japes of the april fool

author
KottonKandy made it! (author)2010-01-26

Haha! That Is GREAT! I LOVE thus ible! I read somewhere that some duchess was watching the peopple of her court act all "stiff necked" and have such perfect manners, so she decided to play a little joke on them. They had a party, or whatever, and in between the chese and crackers, she put a thin slice of soap. Then she watched them choke it down, cuz they were too mannerly to spit it out. LOL she musta had a good sense of humor. 
Great job A+ !!

author
porcupinemamma made it! (author)2009-09-15

oops "1" was supposed to be !!!!!! Voting 5/5 :0)

author
porcupinemamma made it! (author)2009-09-15

Love the medieval twist1 It was enchanting. Especially like the embroidery. could you possibly provide a template? it's gorgeous!

author
TheJynxed made it! (author)2009-07-26

I thanketh thee kind sir. I hath useth thine prankes on the poore olde memberes of mine company. The Coppere Dragon totem shall be proud of the finest Dragon Shaman in ye olde game.

author
ilpug made it! (author)2009-07-11

well, thy kind self hath posted yon instruktable while giving much ponderance to the philosyphies of the Metaphysikal, Physikal, and even Alchymikal. it does mine self great pleasure to see such effervescent talent amoungst my peers. applaudations to thee and thine, sire. great ible... many people think that humor is out of place on this site, but they misunderestimate the dry cyniscism of many of the hackers/pyros/moddders/gamers that frequent here. thats a cool program, my friend would lomp it.

author
legionlabs made it! (author)2008-04-03

Barring some feeble conceit of sobriety, thine local alchemist should kindly note that the powder of iron pyrite is blacke in colour. This contraste between crystal and powdered pyrite is but one of the great mysteries of moderne alchemy.

author
Jieze made it! (author)Jieze2008-04-04

Busted. Any suggestions for an edit, legionlabs?

author
legionlabs made it! (author)legionlabs2008-04-04

Hm, a local artist or alchemist may have in stock some auropigmentum. Mix thou this in a mortar and pestle with clarified butter, tallow, or rendred animal fat as medium. Be thou sure to choose a particularly unwashed ram to cover the smell of these ingredients. Some heretics refer to auropigmentum as "yellow arsenic sulfide" in their strange pagan texts.

author
Pasamal made it! (author)Pasamal2009-07-09

Anything with arsenic in the compound name is likely to be poisonous to the ram.

author
Rock Soldier made it! (author)2009-07-08

Am I the only one that can't understand this? Can you make a 21st century friendly instructable?

author
Jieze made it! (author)2008-04-01

Thanks for all the kind words and votes, fellows. Much obliged. I wish I had time to reply to each comment, but thanks to you all nontheless, particularly those who replied in Renaissance speak. If you reply in Renaissance speak, I'll have a look at some of your instructables and maybye leave you a comment or two.

author
TyMan210 made it! (author)TyMan2102009-05-20

Thine art welcome.

author
potaderantor made it! (author)potaderantor2009-05-16

your welcome jieze

author
cameritec made it! (author)2009-04-04

Combo - eth Breaketh to thy noobeths...

author
randomray made it! (author)2009-03-26

LOL ,the first thing to do here is check your health and then liability insurance . Then make sure you are in good standing with your attorney . Horses are not cars , while not real smart they usually notice when someone puts a rope on them . One of two things would happen either the horse kicks you " they can EASILY break bones " or it ignores you tying it up and when the rider tries to leave it just balks and stands there till untied . Nicely written but really unlikely to work except for maybe in a Hollywood movie . " then it would work every time " You could try hobbling it but again the horse would know . One more caution horses can bite the dickens out of you . Best not to try this at home , LOL

author
Gamer917 made it! (author)2009-03-24

(removed by author or community requesteth)

author
dombeef made it! (author)dombeef2009-03-26

lol

author
temp made it! (author)2009-02-11

SHAKESPEARE!! da da da da daa daa- shakespeare! da da da da daa daa- OLDETH ENGLISH!

author
lobo_pal made it! (author)2008-09-20

All of this olde talk doth pissith me offe! Be gone foul wretch!

author
Derin made it! (author)Derin2009-02-10

Cuteth thy speaketh,yonder folks!Or thy shall be slappeth!

author
lobo_pal made it! (author)lobo_pal2009-02-11

Withith whatith?

author
Derin made it! (author)2009-02-10

Or,should I sayeth "Ironically thy useth oldeth English too." LOLETH

author
~INVENTOR~ made it! (author)2008-09-15

what does (removed by comunity request) mean

author
lobo_pal made it! (author)lobo_pal2008-09-20

He said something offensive or cruel. Think drunk office party.

author
Derin made it! (author)Derin2009-01-16

Or he deleted it himself.

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