Introduction: Ye Olde Aprile Fools Prankes!
Runner Up in the
April Fools' Speed Contest
Hark men and wenches and children of all ages!
Enscribed within this tome is the knowledge required to pranketh all of thine friend and foes alike. Using one of these four pranks (or perhaps more, depending on thine fool) thou can maketh an Aprile Fool of any of thine peers.
Come hither and chooseth the best pranke for thine means.
Step 1: Ye Olde Immovable Blade!
For this age olde pranke, thou must acquire no less than a dozen and two egg whites and a yarn of kelp. By mixing yon essences, thou can procure an elexir by the name of glué, that will bindeth two objects together. Apply the glué around the top of thine Aprile Fool's scabbard and closeth the blade. Waiteth no less than half a dozen hours. When thine Aprile Fool next goes to open yonder blade, he will findeth his hilt stuck to his scabbard!
Once jovial amusement has been had, revealeth to thine mark his status as the Aprile Fool and removeth the substance from yonder blade by exposing to warm water.
Step 2: Ye Olde Dog Bait!
This pranke was brought to the King's England over half a century ago by the Romans. Selecteth thine Aprile Fool, and whilst he slumbers painteth his surcoat and pantaloons in the juices of freash cow meat. To make this pranke even more effective, slice the leftover meat and have thine wench soweth yonder meat into the folds of thine Aprile Fool's cape. In the morrow, inform thine mark that he has an audience with the local Priest and must depart post haste.
Once thou have enjoyed the sight of thine Aprile Fool making haste down yonder street whilst being persued by the locale strays, it wouldst be polite to washeth yon garments with a lime solution, or even purchase new ones.
Step 3: Ye Olde Golden Ram!
This pranke is derived from an olde confidence tricke. For this pranke, thou wilt need to mixeth grounde Iron Pyrite (easily purchased from thine local alchemist) with flour and milk and useth the substance to cover the coat of a ram to giveth the ram a golden appearance. After the ram is dry, haveth a local stable boy (so as not to arouseth thine fool's suspicion) approach thine Aprile Fool and proposition a sale of the golden ram. Be sure to get a good price for the ram and be sure to giveth yonder stable boy a handsome sum for his worketh.
Because silver is involved in this pranke, to avoid the ire of thine Aprile Fool's peers, be sure to useth the money to purchase ale at thine locale Tavern whilst sharing a heary laugh at thine Fool's expense.
Step 4: Ye Olde Mount Throw!
Originally a soldier's technique, this pranke will leave thine Aprile Fool feeling weak in his legs, and his whole body for that matter! Whilst thine Fool prowleth the town atop his steed, haveth a beautiful wench approacheth and distract his attention whilst thou attach his mount to a nearby obstacle with the use of rope. Shaketh with laughter as thine Aprile Fool darts off to impress yonder wench and is thrown from his horse much to his embarassment.
Be sure to approacheth the beast carefully, lest ye be kicked by it's hind legs and it will then be thou that meets yonder ground.
Step 5: Ye Olde Disclaimer!
Please do noteth:
All details contained within this instructable are for entertainment purposes only.
The images were created using the Historic Tale Construction Kit.
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