Instructables
Picture of Ye Olde Aprile Fools Prankes!
Hark men and wenches and children of all ages!

Enscribed within this tome is the knowledge required to pranketh all of thine friend and foes alike. Using one of these four pranks (or perhaps more, depending on thine fool) thou can maketh an Aprile Fool of any of thine peers.

Come hither and chooseth the best pranke for thine means.
 
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Step 1: Ye Olde Immovable Blade!

Picture of Ye Olde Immovable Blade!
For this age olde pranke, thou must acquire no less than a dozen and two egg whites and a yarn of kelp. By mixing yon essences, thou can procure an elexir by the name of glué, that will bindeth two objects together. Apply the glué around the top of thine Aprile Fool's scabbard and closeth the blade. Waiteth no less than half a dozen hours. When thine Aprile Fool next goes to open yonder blade, he will findeth his hilt stuck to his scabbard!

Once jovial amusement has been had, revealeth to thine mark his status as the Aprile Fool and removeth the substance from yonder blade by exposing to warm water.

Step 2: Ye Olde Dog Bait!

Picture of Ye Olde Dog Bait!
This pranke was brought to the King's England over half a century ago by the Romans. Selecteth thine Aprile Fool, and whilst he slumbers painteth his surcoat and pantaloons in the juices of freash cow meat. To make this pranke even more effective, slice the leftover meat and have thine wench soweth yonder meat into the folds of thine Aprile Fool's cape. In the morrow, inform thine mark that he has an audience with the local Priest and must depart post haste.

Once thou have enjoyed the sight of thine Aprile Fool making haste down yonder street whilst being persued by the locale strays, it wouldst be polite to washeth yon garments with a lime solution, or even purchase new ones.

Step 3: Ye Olde Golden Ram!

Picture of Ye Olde Golden Ram!
This pranke is derived from an olde confidence tricke. For this pranke, thou wilt need to mixeth grounde Iron Pyrite (easily purchased from thine local alchemist) with flour and milk and useth the substance to cover the coat of a ram to giveth the ram a golden appearance. After the ram is dry, haveth a local stable boy (so as not to arouseth thine fool's suspicion) approach thine Aprile Fool and proposition a sale of the golden ram. Be sure to get a good price for the ram and be sure to giveth yonder stable boy a handsome sum for his worketh.

Because silver is involved in this pranke, to avoid the ire of thine Aprile Fool's peers, be sure to useth the money to purchase ale at thine locale Tavern whilst sharing a heary laugh at thine Fool's expense.

Step 4: Ye Olde Mount Throw!

Picture of Ye Olde Mount Throw!
Originally a soldier's technique, this pranke will leave thine Aprile Fool feeling weak in his legs, and his whole body for that matter! Whilst thine Fool prowleth the town atop his steed, haveth a beautiful wench approacheth and distract his attention whilst thou attach his mount to a nearby obstacle with the use of rope. Shaketh with laughter as thine Aprile Fool darts off to impress yonder wench and is thrown from his horse much to his embarassment.

Be sure to approacheth the beast carefully, lest ye be kicked by it's hind legs and it will then be thou that meets yonder ground.

Step 5: Ye Olde Disclaimer!

Picture of Ye Olde Disclaimer!
Please do noteth:

All details contained within this instructable are for entertainment purposes only.

The images were created using the Historic Tale Construction Kit.

If you enjoyed this instructble, please vote!
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Viali Jones6 months ago
I thank thee heartily for thine wondrous instruction. In thy footsteps shall I followeth thee in mine queste to become a Jester of the finest rank. Forsooth- harken yonder - I heareth the sounde of angry men and hounds over yonder hille! Fly and saveth thyself - I shall followeth thee presently, for I am swift of foot and nimble of escape.
could you talk in this century
Nay, for today's vernacular does not befit the humor of this epistle to the known world.  However, thou must admit this writing is very humorous indeed if thou knowest the way in which we speak/write/type.  

For really OLD, "Olde English" - try reading Beowulf.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beowulf

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c1...

http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/basis/beowulf-oe.as...

HWÆT, WE GAR-DEna in geardagum,

þeodcyninga þrym gefrunon,

hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon!

oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,

monegum mægþum meodosetla ofteah,

egsode eorlas, syððanærest wearð

feasceaft funden; he þæs frofre gebad,

weox under wolcnum weorðmyndum þah,

oð þæt him æghwylc ymbsittendra

ofer hronrade hyran scolde,

And how to speak it.

It would be interesting to be able to write it and sit an English test... then argue who is the more correctest, sinsce what thou doth spake is more correct than it's derivative.

Yea, this form of speaking is quite interesting, and doest bring about much joy in mineself and in mine friendselfs.  Indeed, it hast been an interesting form of writing, which some may call humorous, if they so wish.
nay knurlish oaf, for so to do wouldst be to ruin the fun of yon pranks.
Thou art the fool
its all in keeping in spirit of the instructable
GASSYPOOTS2 years ago
ye be thy funne prankstre
Plo Koon3 years ago
Yonder instructble has madeth thy viewer haveth a good giggleth.
Amen, brutha
Alchemy! Huzzah!! But shall I be a foole for inquiring, but shall it be easier to have the alchemist juste turneth the woole of thine animale to golde?
Plo Koon3 years ago
"Because silver is involved in this pranke, to avoid the ire of thine Aprile Fool's peers, be sure to useth the money to purchase ale at thine locale Tavern whilst sharing a heary laugh at thine Fool's expense."





Very sensitive.
Plo Koon3 years ago
I liketh thy spellage of "glue".
Plo Koon3 years ago
I like how you put e's on the end of words to make them look like old spellings
Plo Koon3 years ago
Actualy, it would be "thy peers". Not "thine". "Thy" = "your", "thine" = "yours".
(removeth by author or community request-eth)
(twas removed by much yelling and beating of a drum on yonder hill by said wordsmith or the communities horrific yowls in thin ear)
wow even the removal request above was written in the 16th century
lycoris34 years ago
Aye, humorous thou be indeed.  V stars from Heavens Court are thine.
Koosie4 years ago

Brilliant!

Thou hath created a guide-eth worthy of King Arthur!  Now he long-eth needs his royal-eth court jester-eth!

XOIIO4 years ago
Yonder actually means over there.
this had got to be the most un-readable instrcutable ever!
 Try the one with all Caps.
Biggsy4 years ago
Verily though hast amused me muchly... I shall sendeth a squire to recount your merry japes to my comrades in the land of Facebook....Hark oh what bountiful joys come from the japes of the april fool
KottonKandy4 years ago
Haha! That Is GREAT! I LOVE thus ible! I read somewhere that some duchess was watching the peopple of her court act all "stiff necked" and have such perfect manners, so she decided to play a little joke on them. They had a party, or whatever, and in between the chese and crackers, she put a thin slice of soap. Then she watched them choke it down, cuz they were too mannerly to spit it out. LOL she musta had a good sense of humor. 
Great job A+ !!
oops "1" was supposed to be !!!!!! Voting 5/5 :0)
Love the medieval twist1 It was enchanting. Especially like the embroidery. could you possibly provide a template? it's gorgeous!
TheJynxed5 years ago
I thanketh thee kind sir. I hath useth thine prankes on the poore olde memberes of mine company. The Coppere Dragon totem shall be proud of the finest Dragon Shaman in ye olde game.
ilpug5 years ago
well, thy kind self hath posted yon instruktable while giving much ponderance to the philosyphies of the Metaphysikal, Physikal, and even Alchymikal. it does mine self great pleasure to see such effervescent talent amoungst my peers. applaudations to thee and thine, sire. great ible... many people think that humor is out of place on this site, but they misunderestimate the dry cyniscism of many of the hackers/pyros/moddders/gamers that frequent here. thats a cool program, my friend would lomp it.
legionlabs6 years ago
Barring some feeble conceit of sobriety, thine local alchemist should kindly note that the powder of iron pyrite is blacke in colour. This contraste between crystal and powdered pyrite is but one of the great mysteries of moderne alchemy.
Jieze (author)  legionlabs6 years ago
Busted. Any suggestions for an edit, legionlabs?
Hm, a local artist or alchemist may have in stock some auropigmentum. Mix thou this in a mortar and pestle with clarified butter, tallow, or rendred animal fat as medium. Be thou sure to choose a particularly unwashed ram to cover the smell of these ingredients. Some heretics refer to auropigmentum as "yellow arsenic sulfide" in their strange pagan texts.
Anything with arsenic in the compound name is likely to be poisonous to the ram.
Am I the only one that can't understand this? Can you make a 21st century friendly instructable?
Jieze (author) 6 years ago
Thanks for all the kind words and votes, fellows. Much obliged. I wish I had time to reply to each comment, but thanks to you all nontheless, particularly those who replied in Renaissance speak. If you reply in Renaissance speak, I'll have a look at some of your instructables and maybye leave you a comment or two.
TyMan210 Jieze5 years ago
Thine art welcome.
your welcome jieze
cameritec5 years ago
Combo - eth Breaketh to thy noobeths...
randomray5 years ago
LOL ,the first thing to do here is check your health and then liability insurance . Then make sure you are in good standing with your attorney . Horses are not cars , while not real smart they usually notice when someone puts a rope on them . One of two things would happen either the horse kicks you " they can EASILY break bones " or it ignores you tying it up and when the rider tries to leave it just balks and stands there till untied . Nicely written but really unlikely to work except for maybe in a Hollywood movie . " then it would work every time " You could try hobbling it but again the horse would know . One more caution horses can bite the dickens out of you . Best not to try this at home , LOL
Gamer9175 years ago
(removed by author or community requesteth)
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