Introduction: Zombie Defense Table

Picture of Zombie Defense Table

In this tutorial I’m going to show you, how to make a table, that will help you in the next zombie invasion. I had the idea to turn a baseball bat into a table quite some time ago, but was lacking the time to realize it. So after a bit of research, I found this amazing table, by James McAdam and immediately decided to make it.

In this video you can see how it basically works:

Have fun building it and make sure, to aim for the brain.

Step 1: Stuff You Need

Picture of Stuff You Need
    • Wooden baseball bat
    • Wooden pole (about 8 mm diameter)
    • Wood: I used 1.5 cm plywood and 8 mm MDF, because I had it lying around. I used a 32x45 cm piece of each and two 20x15 cm pieces of the plywood.
    • 20 mm screws
    • an old inner bike tube (or any type of thick fabric)
    • sanding paper
    • primer, paint and paintbrush
    • wood filler
    • wood glue
    • clamps
    • circle
    • sander
    • drill
    • scroll saw
    • eye and mouth protection
    • table saw (if you get the pieces precut you won’t need it)

Step 2: Time to Start

Picture of Time to Start

I started with the table plate, which wasn't such a good idea. So I suggest you start with the foot.

The top and bottom of my baseball plate were rounded, so I cut of about 3mm of both sides. Make sure, that the cuts are straight. Mark the centre on one of your smaller pieces and draw a circle that is about one mm bigger than the bottom part of your bat. I didn't have a drill bit, that was big enough, that's why I used a scroll saw to cut the hole.
Glue the second small piece of wood to the one with the hole, as shown in the third picture. I used a table leg, to secure the baseball bat. Put the pieces on top of the bat, as shown in the forth picture (do not centre it, push it to one side and then drill a hole through the pieces into the baseball bat).
Stick the wooden pole through the hole and cut it to the correct length. Afterwards, widen the hole in the baseball bat, so that it slides easily on and off (but not too much, or your construction will be loose).
As you can see in the pictures, I left the pin a bit longer, so that it sticks out the base plate. If that makes you nervous, either add an other layer of plywood, or shorten th pin it.

Step 3: Making the Table Plate

Picture of Making the Table Plate

Mark the centre on both sides of one of the bigger plywood piece and draw a circle, the same size as the top of your baseball bat. Lay it on top of your construction, align it and make sure, that it is straight.
Drill at least two holes through the plate into the baseball bat and widen the holes in the table plate a bit. Stick the wooden pole through it, glue it in place and cut it to the correct length.
Glue the two bigger pieces together and draw your wished shield shape onto it. I decided, to make my shield not round, so that it would use up less space in my bedroom.

Step 4: Priming, Painting and Attaching the Handle

Picture of Priming, Painting and Attaching the Handle

Start by filling the pieces with wood filler, to mask irregularities. Sand all the pieces and prime them at least once, to get a nice and even paint job. Finally paint the pieces.

I used screws, to attach the handle, as shown in the third picture. Start by measuring, how long the pieces have to be, then cut them to the correct size. You can also use drawer handles, if you can find some, that fit.

Congratulations, you are done!


MichelMoermans (author)2011-10-23

That's so deliciously inventive! If my country wasn't so concealed weapon afraid I would build this in a giffy! Nice work!

that was what i was wondering , i think this is a brilliant idea and i would make one as a bedside table , but cant work out the legalities if an intruder broke into my house and i used this on him , i live in the UK

sjb321 (author)andrewcaseley2011-11-15

Well you could just say "I just broke the leg off my bed side table,that was definetly not made to be a club and sheild" that might fly.

andrewcaseley (author)sjb3212011-11-15

it is an option thank you very much

Self defense is illegal? Doesn't that just embolden the criminal?

Michael C made it! (author)2015-03-12

With a few modifications and a theme. Hope you like.

Random_Canadian (author)2014-10-14

In all honesty... I fear if I did this I would no longer be able to get friends to come over!

ProbioticSoundsystem (author)2013-03-08


Matrix-technician (author)2011-10-23

HAHA! I love it! How delightfully gory. The goverment keeping these secrets will not protect us when they lose control.....(food for thought)

Food for though, brains?

kthrun (author)2012-06-14

I know this is an older thread BUT this would make a much better solution for the bat since wood tends to splinter when struck against solid objects....just saying.

darkmarc (author)2011-12-18

i absolutely love it !

FrozenIce (author)2011-11-26

not only for zombies...

bg_askins (author)2011-11-15

i think i'll use a metal bat and a lexan table top.....great idea

sircaptaintigerotter (author)2011-11-03

oh i see whatcha did there

dimtick (author)2011-10-25

this is great!
is the table stable so that you can actually use it as a table? I think i'm ok if you can't.

good job!

BrittLiv (author)dimtick2011-10-26

Hi, thanks, it surprisingly stable, though I wouldn't sit on one side. I'm using it for my phone (I've got an old, big one, that needed to be presented in the right way)

aristide202 (author)2011-10-25

I got the very same drill, good stuff indeed . For best precision results in aligning holes I strongly suggest the use of dowel and tenon centers, few dollars a set or try to make them somehow .

aristide202 (author)2011-10-25

Good job indeed. If you have any doubt about this specific subject it's worth reading an exaustive PDF manual easily found on the web. Ehm, any suggestion about wild chupacabras management ?

Neat idea! I have been telling people for years, zombies pose a very real threat...but no one listens...

CDC listened....

Thank you! Good to know the threat is being taken seriously

mvieke (author)2011-10-25

Brilliant.Very nicely done.

batonas (author)2011-10-25

at the first look it's just a table but don't be fooled its a zombie defence system :D this made my day.

antoman11 (author)2011-10-24

Time to get sawing and nailing I think. I'm sick of my old table.

Kiteman (author)2011-10-23

This is really clever, and just as I was thinking about zombies as well...

About This Instructable




Bio: Hi, my name is Britt Michelsen, I'm a Chemical Engineer especially interested in Computational Fluid Dynamics. To balance all the theoretical work I like ... More »
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