branding iron

What better way to pay homage to an animal that's given its life for your nutrition than jamming a hot brand of its former self into its own butchered carcass?
Ponder no more, it's time to graduate from Bovine University and make your very own branding iron for all occasions!

This instructable will show you how to make your own beef brand from bicycle spokes.
This idea can easily be expanded to a chicken for poultry, a swine for pork cutlets, heck even Bambi for venison!

^{I chose to make this branding iron out of stainless steel spokes as it is food safe, the thin gauge is relatively easy to bend, and the spoke retains its shape.
Do not use wire coat hangers for this project, hanger metal is an alloy which may contain lead or other toxic elements which can be harmful if consumed
Do not brand skin}

This instructable won runner-up in the Low & Slow BBQ Contest.
^{Check out the other entries!}

Enough talk, let's brand something!

Step 1: Strip bicycle tire

I'm lucky to live in a city where there are plenty of bike commuters. With so many commuters it was easy to find a tire that I could dismantle and remove the spokes from.

As tempting as that bike lockup outside your school or place of work is many bikers frown upon having their tires removed for this purpose. Try to find a junked or bent tire to cannibalize.
I asked at my local bike store and they had two for me to choose from. Look for straight spokes with no coating (paint or stickers).

Comments

[dburton2]

Thanks for the info. I have been looking for a way to mark the toys belonging to my grand children . They leave some toys outside and the kid next door then claims them as his own. Will be GREAT to have their toys "personalized" . You just saved me big bucks by no longer having to replace toys or confront the neighbors about their kids problem.

[gilleseg]

That is one well hung cow you have there.

[anibioman]

very very funny mister.

[weaponscollector94]

lol is that bacon on the BBQ grill?

[mikeasaurus]

that's how I roll!

[weaponscollector94]

lol, i just tried grilling my bacon, it came out pretty dry but it was still good!

[frisbeechamp1983]

Could this be used to brand wood?

[Jimmy Proton]

acid wash?

[mikeasaurus]

sure, any method to remove grime and grease. You still may need to use an abrasive like steel wool after.

[Jimmy Proton]

yeah

[Herodez]

I wonder, could you use this to brand your own skin?

[flamesami]

it would probably stick. I read somewhere that they branded slaves with silver brands, and still had to oil them to make sure the brand didn't stick

[mikeasaurus]

branding skin would suck so bad, don't try it!

[R1Ch0]

i't would look pretty cool once it scarred up though.

[Atomman]

What if, after time, whatever is used for that black coating chips off onto the food? Would it be dangerous?... I noticed it looks like it would come off easily.

[mikeasaurus]

hey Atomman, it's not advisable to use spokes with a coating of any kind. step 1 mentions to "Look for straight spokes with no coating (paint or stickers). ". However if you have no other alternative make sure to read step 3 about cleaning, I used a combination of scouring pad and a sanding cloth to remove all traces of coating, dirt, oil and debris.

The black you see in the photos is carbon from the iron being heated and used to sear the meat, it is not harmful. If any of this would to flake off and land on your food it would be no different to eating some ash, and in such doses wouldn't be much of a health concern. That said, you bring attention to the fact that you should clean your iron regularly to prevent excessive food build up.

[Atomman]

Oh, I must have not seen the Spoke Cleaning step.

[WoutervD]

Well, I don't think you'll ever need welding with a penny-farthing front wheel. You could brand a whole cow with one of those.

[moo of the cow]

POOR COW who died to sacrifice itself ............. ohh well they taste nice anyway!!

[ANTQNUT]

AWESOME! that is so cool u could sell that to like a steak house and make a few bucks!

[jdock95]

you are a really good welder! i didnt even notice the front hoof weld.

[chakra]

hey! wondering if it could brand leather too... can it withstand the force needed to be applied on to leather??? will it char the leather??

[mikeasaurus]

The process could easily be applied to both leather and plastic, just don't use it for food afterwords, ok?

As greensteam mentioned already temperature will play a huge factor, and just like for food a high temperature is desired.

Just as important is to consider the size of the area you wish to brand. The brand shown here measures +/- 76 x 44.5 mm (3" x1.75") and some bends were tough for me to do by hand, intricate bends may be hard to achieve with this gauge.

Have fun, if you succeed post the results!

[greensteam]

That was more or less my first thought. Branding leather or plastic. In any case I would think the important factor would be temperature as much as force.

[jessyratfink]

This is great! I love that the brand is a cute little cow! Great food porn, too! :D

[Yerboogieman]

Rule 34.

[Chromatica]

lol

[jmacfarlane823]

lmao:P

[mikeasaurus]

mmm food porn

[Spook-rabbit]

This is just great in so many ways haha, awesome work, just a nice 'ible overall

[emmerich45]

as a vegetarian i really hope this works on quorn, but what shape would i use anyway, soil mould Fusarium venenatum strain PTA-2684 shaped brand anyone? :)

[thepelton]

You could probably brand a soft tortilla.

[lil jon168]

eww quorn is not just tofu its got mold in it. i saw it on modern marvels

[thepelton]

Are you perhaps referring to the mold that attacks corn, called by Mexicans Huitlacoche?

[lil jon168]

no look up quorn

[thepelton]

Fascinating. I made a copy of the article I found so I could bring it to the meeting of the Pikes Peak Mycological Society on Monday. It's a club of Mushroom enthusiasts that should be interested in quorn.

[duTrieux]

Quorn is delicious, and brings us a step closer to the glory of proper vat-grown meat.

[mikeasaurus]

vat-grown meat, yikes!

[thepelton]

The concept of vat-grown meat reminds me of a Science fiction story I read about 20 years ago, in which they were making synthetic meat in a vat, and one day it learned how to speak... and scream.

[watermelonhead]

A tofu block! :D