Introduction: How to Survive Thee Zombiez

well this is important instructions for when you see a dismembered corpse running around in your neighborhood.

Step 1: Know Your Zombie

their are about seven different type of zombies,

the first one is the diseased type, these or the very common type of zombie

the second type is the one's who are possessed by evil demons or witches

the third one are the one who become zombies after fallen into a can of chemicals

then the forth one's are the ones who were man-made (like Frankenstein)

vampires and ghouls are considered undead so they are a type of zombies

the last one's are the one's who gets infected by a certain drug or medication

the last ones are the one who became the undead by a nuclear apocalypse

Step 2: Materials

-need a good group of people (full of strong people and hot chicks, in case of need of reproducing)

-lot of weapons and ammunition

- a stronghold or base

-lots of non-perishables food

-extra energy generator

-vehicle

-spy and military gear

- batteries

-electronics

-some sort of communication

-escape route

-first aid kit

-building and weapon making materials

- cool animals for assistance

-last but not least a tight ass theme song to help kick zombie buttocks!

Step 3: Group of People to Have

everybody needs backup against the undead so this is the types of people who should be on our list

-first our close family and friends
-a priest so he can wipe the floor with the demon possessed zombies
-a doctor so he can do a bunch of autopsy on zombie so the group may find a cure
-alot of hot chicks
-a carpenter, or a constructor of some sort
-martial art fighters, and street fighters
-some dude who everybody he loved recently died, so he can kill a bunch of the undead by exploding himself with a bomb
-strong people
-mechanics
-plumber
-a dude who is good with computers
-scientists
-hunters

Step 4: How to Kill a Zombie

well they are different zombies so each can be killed in a different way
-to kill all zombies is to damage the head
-to kill a demon possessed need holy water to spray (it's like acid to them)
-you can also put them in fire
-some animals are invincible against zombies like man-made
-slice it like sushi
-ask Micheal Jackson for help, he's already a zombie so he can kill the other zombies
-for the demon possessed zombies, read a testaments from the bible (is like screeching)
-for vampires who are a type of zombies holy water can kill them, a stake to the heart can kill all them, garlic is like grenades to them.
-throw acid at them
-train as a paladin because they know holy spells and they fight alot of zombies
-to prevent zombies from coming out the ground make the coffin in steel, and bury them in cement

Step 5: Weapons

when a group of zombies come, your groups needs some stuff in their hands to beat the zombies to a pulp
-a person need guns
-a revolver doesn't jam but carries less bullets
-a shotgun carries more bullets and if your shooting the slow moving zombies take aim carefully in the head
-a rocket launcher can kill a large number of zombies at once
-a normal pistol is all right
- grenade are good, especially when the sad dude is gonna kill himself killing the zombie
-a rifle rocks
-a Uzi uses a lot of bullets but their good if your going crazy against a group of zombies

-also knives are good, use any knives but i would use throwing daggers, ninja stars, and my favorite the katana to slice the zombies head off

so normally use anything that you and your grooup can get your hands on.

Step 6: Your Secret Hideout

you and your group need a place to chill and blow some steam off when your group are done "zombie-slaying" so this is the list for a good hideout

-a normal house is good cause it has average amount of food but not much protection
-a apartment is good for having privacy and lots of escape routes but alot of zombies can inhabit it
-a gymnasium is alot of space and storage but no privacy (may have vending machines)
-a grocery store has a lot of food and cooking knives, but since the meat will rot and attract zombies
-a trailer is small but with a vehicle, it can be useful for an escape
-a mansion has a bunch of rooms an large attic
-a military base is the best because a large amount of food, water,guns,vehicles, and ammunition
-a bomb shelter is second best because it has hard protection and food and ammunition, and hold a lot of people

Step 7: Vehicles

to transport yourself and your group away from the zombies
- a car is cool
-a bus hold alot of people and storage
-a unicycle sucks
-a motorcycle is good for one person and strategy (especially when you your group in a bike gang)
-a truck is good can hold alot people and good foe storage (especially when that truck is optimus prime)
-a tank is awesome but holds a small amount of people

Step 8: Cures

well people think that their is no cures but they are. the first cure is for the demon possessed zombies. if you have a priest or if you're a paladin, you or the priest can exorcise the demons out of the body. in resident evil their was a cure, their was a injection to take before a person would become a zombie. then in a zombie movie i watched a person can amputate the limb that was infected by the zombie bite. plus when the doctor and scientist are studying the zmobies they can find the cure for the bites.

Step 9: What Not to Do With a Zombie!!!!

-don't have sex with a zombie, even though they look hot when their rotting, but never have sex with aa zombie or you would get "ZTD's" zombie-transmitted-diseased.
-don't go drunk, you may have sex with a zombie.
-don't eat a zombie
-don't look directly at a vampires eyes, because vampire;s has the ability to hypnotize
-don't bleed

Comments

author
daryldixon18 made it!(author)2014-04-03

A unicycle does not suck a unicycle will entertain the zombies to death.

author
spideroh1 made it!(author)2013-06-03

Omg y'all are all stuipid there will not be any zombies or anything like that get your minds strait

author
basementhacker made it!(author)2013-03-30

Why isn't a flamethrower listed? There are a lot of I'bles with them now.

author
Dusk+Shadows made it!(author)2012-09-28

I find that highly offensive that my kind r considered zombies!!!

author
Dusk+Shadows made it!(author)2012-06-08

Zombie survival haha as if i need it i can KILL 70% of people with my bare hands

author
Benb998765 made it!(author)2011-03-27

where do you think you will get a rocket launcher or grenades?

author
Thrasym made it!(author)2012-06-03

From that military outpost that got overrun the other day. Seriously, who wouldn't head strait for the nearest militarized area in the apocalypse? It's protection if the military is still active or a vast amount of food and weapons and vehicles and fortified defenses if they've been eaten or forced to relocate by zombies. Military bases are all over every country, so, they're always close enough.

author
Neovenetar made it!(author)2010-11-15

wait, how can your real sword be too light? Isn't it good to have a lighter sword (unless it is too fragile)

author
Thrasym made it!(author)2012-06-03

Lighter swords have less cutting power. It takes less effort to decapitate a zombie with a heavier sword. Keep in mind, generally speaking, you will not be flipping around like Yoda deflecting and parrying in long drawn out battles with your cunning rival. The goal would be one swing, one zombie head rolling down the street.

Ninja and samurai swords are not designed to stop zombies and would be a horrible choice, unless you are a ninja or samurai and have extensive experience using them before the apocalypse hits. Even then, you'd probably be better off with a machete or hammer. Or one of the heavier curved bladed swords (if you can find one), there are numerous mid-eastern versions but if you like the Asian stuff, a Chinese Dao is a good example.

I'd be grabbing the guns with silencers and ammo first though.

author
waco565 made it!(author)2011-07-29

new plan find doc. richtoffen, tank dempsey, nikolai belinsky, takeo masaki, chuck norris, and chuck greene hide on a millitary aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean

author
dr.+richtofen made it!(author)2012-05-19

Here am I

author
RC-0720 made it!(author)2009-03-31

okay, the "theme song" would be of absolutely no help whatsoever, as it does not bolster the strength of your comrades in any way, the chicks standing at the sidelines might be useful, but only if they are a bit more tough, rather than the "OMG can you help me i cant pick up this 5 pound box" type. and what need would you have for animals? do you think that they are automatically immune to attack or something? and where the shab do you think you could get military equipment?

author
mickydeezers made it!(author)2011-07-01

raid the zoo get all the BA animals and herd them make them ur pets but the only problem is like in I am legend where he has to shoot the dog

author
Fred+the+evil+puppet made it!(author)2011-09-05

Argh!! I can't even go on instructables now without someone spoiling a film that I am about to watch!

author
Void+Schism made it!(author)2009-06-23

try Army bases and surplus shops. Bolt-cutters for locks, brick through the window, ram raid with a jeep. Just make sure you can move fast. If you set off an alarm you will want to be out of there before the zombies think it's the dinner bell ringing. Also some universities and colleges have shooting ranges, so try raiding the most secure looking part of the sports department.

author
waco565 made it!(author)2011-07-30

or find dempsey, richtoffen,takeo, nikolai, and chuck greene and also theme music would actualy attract zombies

author
teddy1998 made it!(author)2010-07-29

wait. or a battle goat.and make sure you have dolphins and live by the sea so when u maybe win you can ride off into the sunset on the dolphins

author
An+Villain made it!(author)2009-07-09

ready to die by andrew W.K. may help a little.

author
RC-0720 made it!(author)2009-07-10

or Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin.

author
An+Villain made it!(author)2009-07-10

YEAH!

author
jaxx+sentinel made it!(author)2009-07-15

Live fast by Pensive iwll definatly help XD

author
An+Villain made it!(author)2009-07-16

never heard that one.

author
Future+filmaker made it!(author)2009-08-13

Eye of the tiger, or even better, People singing holy chants, thatll make zombies heads a splode... like to the country music in mars attacks

author
teddy1998 made it!(author)2010-07-29

THAT was a good movie.

author
RC-0720 made it!(author)2009-12-09

hrm... if this is merely apocalypse/infectious zombies, then church-based attacks won't work.

author
jabbathegut1 made it!(author)2009-09-01

lol

author
An+Villain made it!(author)2009-08-14

ha ha.

author
Gunnarboy820 made it!(author)2010-07-08

That's my fav as well

author
jabbathegut1 made it!(author)2009-09-01

Or hows about the nazi zombie music - either 'the one' or ' lullaby for a dead man ' - that will make them fall asleep !!

author
teddy1998 made it!(author)2010-07-29

dude! how could u?!?! the song is the most important!!!!!!! you know, it's the eye of the tiger it's the thrill of the fight, risin' up to the challenge of his rivals!!!!!!! thats a good idea. battle cows. cause you'll have milk and you can hit stuff with cows. or like he-man!!!!!!!! SUPER-NERD-RIDING-TIGER to the rescue. haha.

author
dperron2 made it!(author)2011-08-27

The only cure is a 9mm bullet.

author
dperron2 made it!(author)2011-08-27

if your zombie its Too late. just too late. You are dead , only one part of your brain works , nothing else work.


There is no cure to death

author
dperron2 made it!(author)2011-08-27

This is so stupid , All of them are wrong and just wrong.

The only good one is Bike.

in a zombie apocalypse , i hope you dont really think peoples would take time to park their cars? The roads would be a mess , you couldnt do 100 meters and you'd be jammed alredy.

author
R0B0T5_R0CK made it!(author)2011-08-07

someone make a "build a star destroyer" ible so that in the event of a zombie apocalypse we just build that and be on our way lol.

author
valarist made it!(author)2009-09-18

hey what about a butte it's at a high elevation so zombies can't get you because it's at around 90 degree angle and you can use a chopper to get up there you can also use a mountain

author
syphek made it!(author)2010-12-08

can you fly a helicopter?

author
M4industries made it!(author)2011-07-02

Throttle, cyclic pitch, yoke. Nothing too complicated there.

author
M4industries made it!(author)2011-07-02

The best place by far is an offshore rig.
Need food? Go fishing.
Need water? Offshore oil rigs have desalination pumps.

Need medicine? Take a dinghy back to shore with a crowbar in hand and go get some stuff! Unlimited food, unlimited water, no zombies, ever. I can't imagine a better place.

author
M4industries made it!(author)2010-08-22

Would a boat be safe? After all, zombies cannot swim. At least I don't think they do.

author
mickydeezers made it!(author)2011-07-01

houseboat city in the middle of a lake? go fishin fresh water once boiled sounds good to me

author
M4industries made it!(author)2011-07-02

It's been a year since I posted that and took it a step further by dropping the boat idea and going to an offshore rig. How sweet would that be?

author
mickydeezers made it!(author)2011-07-01

maybe not a cur but a id be fine with a vaccine

author
mickydeezers made it!(author)2011-07-01

what if the virus has a latency stage you could have people in your group that are infected and never know about it

author
DannytheGreat made it!(author)2011-06-28

a school or prison is also good

author
mickydeezers made it!(author)2011-07-01

alcatraz would be the best only thing you would have to worry about is other humans which could easily be picked of by a sniper or just dealt with once ashore

author
DannytheGreat made it!(author)2011-06-28

really? paladins?

author
Benb998765 made it!(author)2011-03-27

A tank... really. Want to explain where you can get a tank.

author
DannytheGreat made it!(author)2011-06-28

you could make one if you really wanted to

author
hope4prosperity made it!(author)2011-04-11

A book most thought was fiction reported different types of zombies around the world. I am still uncertain about the area I live in - I have heard that sasquatch will often kill tourists that threaten them. There are probably many types of those too.

author
pie+is+good96 made it!(author)2009-03-31

where the hot chick part

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