How to Survive Thee Zombiez





Introduction: How to Survive Thee Zombiez

well this is important instructions for when you see a dismembered corpse running around in your neighborhood.

Step 1: Know Your Zombie

their are about seven different type of zombies,

the first one is the diseased type, these or the very common type of zombie

the second type is the one's who are possessed by evil demons or witches

the third one are the one who become zombies after fallen into a can of chemicals

then the forth one's are the ones who were man-made (like Frankenstein)

vampires and ghouls are considered undead so they are a type of zombies

the last one's are the one's who gets infected by a certain drug or medication

the last ones are the one who became the undead by a nuclear apocalypse

Step 2: Materials

-need a good group of people (full of strong people and hot chicks, in case of need of reproducing)

-lot of weapons and ammunition

- a stronghold or base

-lots of non-perishables food

-extra energy generator


-spy and military gear

- batteries


-some sort of communication

-escape route

-first aid kit

-building and weapon making materials

- cool animals for assistance

-last but not least a tight ass theme song to help kick zombie buttocks!

Step 3: Group of People to Have

everybody needs backup against the undead so this is the types of people who should be on our list

-first our close family and friends
-a priest so he can wipe the floor with the demon possessed zombies
-a doctor so he can do a bunch of autopsy on zombie so the group may find a cure
-alot of hot chicks
-a carpenter, or a constructor of some sort
-martial art fighters, and street fighters
-some dude who everybody he loved recently died, so he can kill a bunch of the undead by exploding himself with a bomb
-strong people
-a dude who is good with computers

Step 4: How to Kill a Zombie

well they are different zombies so each can be killed in a different way
-to kill all zombies is to damage the head
-to kill a demon possessed need holy water to spray (it's like acid to them)
-you can also put them in fire
-some animals are invincible against zombies like man-made
-slice it like sushi
-ask Micheal Jackson for help, he's already a zombie so he can kill the other zombies
-for the demon possessed zombies, read a testaments from the bible (is like screeching)
-for vampires who are a type of zombies holy water can kill them, a stake to the heart can kill all them, garlic is like grenades to them.
-throw acid at them
-train as a paladin because they know holy spells and they fight alot of zombies
-to prevent zombies from coming out the ground make the coffin in steel, and bury them in cement

Step 5: Weapons

when a group of zombies come, your groups needs some stuff in their hands to beat the zombies to a pulp
-a person need guns
-a revolver doesn't jam but carries less bullets
-a shotgun carries more bullets and if your shooting the slow moving zombies take aim carefully in the head
-a rocket launcher can kill a large number of zombies at once
-a normal pistol is all right
- grenade are good, especially when the sad dude is gonna kill himself killing the zombie
-a rifle rocks
-a Uzi uses a lot of bullets but their good if your going crazy against a group of zombies

-also knives are good, use any knives but i would use throwing daggers, ninja stars, and my favorite the katana to slice the zombies head off

so normally use anything that you and your grooup can get your hands on.

Step 6: Your Secret Hideout

you and your group need a place to chill and blow some steam off when your group are done "zombie-slaying" so this is the list for a good hideout

-a normal house is good cause it has average amount of food but not much protection
-a apartment is good for having privacy and lots of escape routes but alot of zombies can inhabit it
-a gymnasium is alot of space and storage but no privacy (may have vending machines)
-a grocery store has a lot of food and cooking knives, but since the meat will rot and attract zombies
-a trailer is small but with a vehicle, it can be useful for an escape
-a mansion has a bunch of rooms an large attic
-a military base is the best because a large amount of food, water,guns,vehicles, and ammunition
-a bomb shelter is second best because it has hard protection and food and ammunition, and hold a lot of people

Step 7: Vehicles

to transport yourself and your group away from the zombies
- a car is cool
-a bus hold alot of people and storage
-a unicycle sucks
-a motorcycle is good for one person and strategy (especially when you your group in a bike gang)
-a truck is good can hold alot people and good foe storage (especially when that truck is optimus prime)
-a tank is awesome but holds a small amount of people

Step 8: Cures

well people think that their is no cures but they are. the first cure is for the demon possessed zombies. if you have a priest or if you're a paladin, you or the priest can exorcise the demons out of the body. in resident evil their was a cure, their was a injection to take before a person would become a zombie. then in a zombie movie i watched a person can amputate the limb that was infected by the zombie bite. plus when the doctor and scientist are studying the zmobies they can find the cure for the bites.

Step 9: What Not to Do With a Zombie!!!!

-don't have sex with a zombie, even though they look hot when their rotting, but never have sex with aa zombie or you would get "ZTD's" zombie-transmitted-diseased.
-don't go drunk, you may have sex with a zombie.
-don't eat a zombie
-don't look directly at a vampires eyes, because vampire;s has the ability to hypnotize
-don't bleed



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    We have a be nice policy.
    Please be positive and constructive.




    A unicycle does not suck a unicycle will entertain the zombies to death.

    Omg y'all are all stuipid there will not be any zombies or anything like that get your minds strait

    Why isn't a flamethrower listed? There are a lot of I'bles with them now.

    I find that highly offensive that my kind r considered zombies!!!

    Zombie survival haha as if i need it i can KILL 70% of people with my bare hands

    where do you think you will get a rocket launcher or grenades?

    From that military outpost that got overrun the other day. Seriously, who wouldn't head strait for the nearest militarized area in the apocalypse? It's protection if the military is still active or a vast amount of food and weapons and vehicles and fortified defenses if they've been eaten or forced to relocate by zombies. Military bases are all over every country, so, they're always close enough.

    wait, how can your real sword be too light? Isn't it good to have a lighter sword (unless it is too fragile)

    Lighter swords have less cutting power. It takes less effort to decapitate a zombie with a heavier sword. Keep in mind, generally speaking, you will not be flipping around like Yoda deflecting and parrying in long drawn out battles with your cunning rival. The goal would be one swing, one zombie head rolling down the street.

    Ninja and samurai swords are not designed to stop zombies and would be a horrible choice, unless you are a ninja or samurai and have extensive experience using them before the apocalypse hits. Even then, you'd probably be better off with a machete or hammer. Or one of the heavier curved bladed swords (if you can find one), there are numerous mid-eastern versions but if you like the Asian stuff, a Chinese Dao is a good example.

    I'd be grabbing the guns with silencers and ammo first though.

    new plan find doc. richtoffen, tank dempsey, nikolai belinsky, takeo masaki, chuck norris, and chuck greene hide on a millitary aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean