Introduction: IFork- the Superior Takeaway Dining Implement
Sick of cheap plastic or wooden forks from takeaways and chippies? Tired of greasy fingers? Want to stand out in the crowd while you polish off your fish and chips at the bus stop? Look no further, here it is, the high tech equivalent to the plastic or wooden fork, the iFork.
Needed: 1 fork (the eating variety, not the garden type), preferably an old family heirloom. If not, a visit to the charity shop should suffice for a handful.
Step 1: The Starting Point
OK, this is what you are looking for (the metal thing, not the hand, although a hand does come in useful later).
Don't let your grandmother see you taking it, although she was probably intending to leave it to you in her will, so you're just doing time travel in a way.
Step 2: Clamp and Cut
Clamp your family heirloom eating implement in a vice and get the hacksaw working. Cut off the handle to a suitable length for convenience and practicality. Discard the half without the prongs. If you find when finished the implement doesn't pick up chips or rice successfully, you have probably discarded the wrong end at this stage.
Step 3: Round Off and Smooth End
Use a file and sandpaper or a grinding wheel to round off the end and smooth off any burrs. You could drill a hole in the end for attachment to a necklace if you like at this stage. I left mine unholey
Step 4: The Finished IFork
Your iFork- The Superior Takeaway Dining Implement- is now finished. To use, rush out to your local chippy or preferred takeaway. When asked if you'd like a fork with your meal, pull out your iFork, with a flourish, and holding it up say "No, thank you, but I have brought my own iFork, a vastly superior dining implement to your cheap plastic and wooden forks."
They also make ideal wedding and birthday presents, especially when presented as a matching set.