Picture of make a REAL fake mustache
Fake mustaches are fun, but they tend to fall off at awkward times. Want to keep that "incognito" look, without the hassle of the constant struggle of dwindling adhesive effectiveness? Let Aimless J. Lackluster show you how!
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Step 1: Grow a mustache

Picture of Grow a mustache
"Handlebar" and "Sheriff" shapes are particularly effective. Not recommended for whispy "Teenage" mustaches. "Hitler" styles, although you may in truth be shooting for a "Chaplin" look, are likewise not recommended or endorsed by Aimless J. Lackluster. To enhance the fake look we are going for, be sure to keep the mustache impeccably trimmed. Also consider trimming it to appear slightly "off kilter," as if the mustache were placed on the lip at a slight angle.

Step 2: Get some hair dye

Picture of Get some hair dye
Buy a package of hair dye which does not match your natural hair color. If you're blonde, go for Jet Black. If your hair is dark, go for Blonde or Auburn. I recommend "Just for Men Gel," although we are going for a different effect than the advertised, "It looks so natural... No one can tell" slogan.

Step 3: Dye the thing, already

Picture of Dye the thing, already
Apply hair dye to mustache according to the manufacturer's instructions. Applying petroleum jelly to the skin surrounding the mustache area prior to dye application will help you to avoid embarassing tell-tale areas of dyed skin.

Step 4: Finishing touches, and a new outlook

Picture of Finishing touches, and a new outlook
Rinse, dry, groom, and venture out into the world with a renewed vigor, confident that your new "fake" mustache ain't going anywhere.
agis684 years ago
my best mustache ever was made from real hair taken from my lovely cat's rich hairs. I have a persian mixed european cat and has the appropriate size and color for mustache
ninapratt6 years ago
This is fine for MEN, but what about for us Drag Kings??
Daveed6 years ago
Well, I didn't know that there was a humorous vein running through this site. Quite delightful!
Punkguyta8 years ago
What the hell is wrong with that kid? It looks like he has iceing sugar in his hair or something crystaly
Also too, did anyone notice how big his pupils are? I can bet that he's high on something.
must be the hair dye fumes
Austinisi8 years ago
where does the hair come from. i am confused as to whether you grow it first then color it or what you are supposed to do. where does the mustache come from?
You're missing the point. The mustache is real, but these instructions are meant to make it look fake.
DING DING DING!!! Someone gets it. Go grab yourself a Churro, saites2001, and forward the bill to your 'ole pal Aimless J. Lackluster. You deserve it.
i want a churro too!
i was confused by the kid with the mustache.
Best. Instructable. Evar!
You say that after every date!
LasVegas8 years ago
Okay, so how do you make a FAKE real mustache? Or perhaps a pseudo-actual-placebo-genuine undernose-hairpiece?
Gthing 2.08 years ago
that alsome hay but could u explain just a little more
evy-wevy8 years ago