Fake mustaches are fun, but they tend to fall off at awkward times. Want to keep that "incognito" look, without the hassle of the constant struggle of dwindling adhesive effectiveness? Let Aimless J. Lackluster show you how!
Step 1: Grow a mustache
"Handlebar" and "Sheriff" shapes are particularly effective. Not recommended for whispy "Teenage" mustaches. "Hitler" styles, although you may in truth be shooting for a "Chaplin" look, are likewise not recommended or endorsed by Aimless J. Lackluster. To enhance the fake look we are going for, be sure to keep the mustache impeccably trimmed. Also consider trimming it to appear slightly "off kilter," as if the mustache were placed on the lip at a slight angle.
Step 2: Get some hair dye
Buy a package of hair dye which does not match your natural hair color. If you're blonde, go for Jet Black. If your hair is dark, go for Blonde or Auburn. I recommend "Just for Men Gel," although we are going for a different effect than the advertised, "It looks so natural... No one can tell" slogan.
Step 3: Dye the thing, already
Apply hair dye to mustache according to the manufacturer's instructions. Applying petroleum jelly to the skin surrounding the mustache area prior to dye application will help you to avoid embarassing tell-tale areas of dyed skin.
Step 4: Finishing touches, and a new outlook
Rinse, dry, groom, and venture out into the world with a renewed vigor, confident that your new "fake" mustache ain't going anywhere.