Introduction: Motorcycle Whack-bonk

Picture of Motorcycle Whack-bonk

Anyone who has spent any time on a motorcycle has probably experienced some close calls with unobservant drivers. Motorcycles and cyclists are powerless most times to do anything in these situations, other than shake a fist and yell in hopes the offending driver hears your colourful language over their caramel macchiato sips.

Time to fight back! Give 'em a taste of the whack-bonk!

Using a foam pool noodle and a wooden dowel it's time to give a little comeuppance to bad drivers. Add insult to injury by inscribing  messages on the noddle, then giving the offending vehicle acouppla whacks to let them know they did you wrong.

Enough talk, let's whack-bonk!

*this Instructable is for novelty purposes only.
*not responsible for any injuries suffered from use of this Instructable.
*be safe, and always obey the road rules

Step 1: Tools + Materials

Picture of Tools + Materials
  • hot glue
  • permanent markers
  • hobby knife
  • wooden dowel (squeegee handle)
  • pool noodle
  • empty plastic container
  • 2 x cable-ties

Step 2: Cut Foam Noodle

Picture of Cut Foam Noodle

Most foam noodles come with a cylindrical opening in the centre that runs the entire length of the noodle, perfect for a dowel of the right size. Measure the length of the foam you will need to cover the dowel, leaving room for a handle and a little extra foam at the top to protect the top of the dowel.

If unsure cut a longer portion of foam than required and trim off excess as desired.

Pool noodle is a funny name.But since noodles aren't hollow, these should really be called foam bucatini. But I digress. Where was I? Ahh yes, cutting the foam. Cut foam to length and insert dowel, there should be enough friction between the dowel and the foam to hold it in place. If not, use a liberal amount of hot glue to secure the dowel in place.

Step 3: Holster

Picture of Holster

You'll also need a place to store your whack-bonk when not in use. I chose a low-tech approach to hold mine, an empty plastic container slightly larger in diameter than the foam noodle.

Remove the top and bottom of the container. Create two small openings on the centre portion for cable-ties which will be used to fix the holster to the bike.

Find an appropriate place on your bike which will accept the whack-bonk. The placement needs to ensure quick deployment while keeping the bike functional. I chose the rear left hand side, just above the passenger pegs. Cable ties were laced through the openings on the plastic container and attached to the turn signal.

Step 4: Share Your Thoughts

Picture of Share Your Thoughts

Dispensing justice with the whack-bonk is fun, but may not get your message across. You may just look like a lunatic with a large wand striking windshields and yelling muffled expletives inside your helmet. That's why it helps to write out your message to ensure that bad drivers knows exactly why you're so upset.

With permanent marker, embellish your whack-bonk with colourful sayings. Selectively place the sayings around the foam so that you have a choice of message to send.

Step 5: Dole Out Bonks

Picture of Dole Out Bonks

With your whack-bonk installed, you're ready for the next unobservant driver who is paying more attention to texting their BFF than the road.
Go ahead, give 'em a couple of bonks to pay attention. Let those bad drivers know how you feel with a solid smack and a sassy saying.

Be safe, and have fun!


MillennialDIYer (author)2017-11-15

Now I just need a jousting lance version of this...

yuukikonno08 (author)2017-02-20

I say make a bunch a take one and throw it at them instead, much safer on your part!:)

diyoutdoorsman (author)2011-04-03

For every incident you've experienced with an vehicle driver, I can give you one where I had a motorcycle pull out in front of me, cut in front of me to make a turn, ride up on my bumper, drive at insane speeds, or cut between the lanes of traffic. I think your suggestion is juvenile at best and dangerous at worst. A car or truck outweighs you by several thousand pounds and for the most part is not as maneuverable. Just getting that close to a car could cause the driver to panic and overreact either injuring you, him, or an innocent bystander. The driver that offended you probably didn't know he did anything wrong and probably wouldn't admit if he did. What would you think if a driver setting in a traffic jamb opened his door as you're cutting between the lanes of stalled traffic? If you got that close to me with something resembling any type of weapon I would put you in the ditch, under my wheels, or into oncoming traffic. You might also remember that in the US it is estimated that one if five vehicles has a loaded weapon in it. Road rage happens when a bad situation is escalated. Making a juvenile point is not worth the all the possible bad outcomes. Just take it in stride, be the bigger man, rant on your blog, spend some time in a batting cage, whatever. Just move on and be safe.

Fool! This post i obviously just a joke just like most of his other posts so i wouldn't waste my time with this long post that people are just going to criticize for being stupid. So go find something else better to do instead of waste your useless life making stupid posts. Have a nice day.

LynwoodJ (author)diyoutdoorsman2015-12-30

Something you should keep in mind if you decide to open your door on a motorcycle, or try to "put you in the ditch, under my wheels, or into oncoming traffic": This is a felony offense, punishable by up to 20 years in prison. Also, being as it is officially on record that this is a premeditated act, your vehicular manslaughter charge could be upgraded to first degree murder (I know that the DA would certainly try, at least). This is pretty clearly a joke post, so I would keep your thoughts to yourself.

You should take time to consider what you're saying here, diyoutdoorsman. I understand traffic can be irritating, but you're saying you would run someone over, possibly killing them simply because they "approach" your vehicle with a foam bat?

I don't know what state you're in, but in California it is specifically legal for motorcyclists to share lanes with cars. By that I mean it's not some unwritten rule, the law goes out of it's way to state that it is permitted.

Also I highly doubt your statistic is true. I encounter bad/unsafe drivers constantly, and by far the majority are on 4 wheels. Also 95% of collisions I see (which is a pretty regular thing in my area) involve cars, and the rest of the time it's freight trucks. Motorcyclists may be irritating, but I would bet my life they are safer drivers. I certainly would be if there was nothing protecting me from getting squashed like a bug.

LynwoodJ (author)Bloodbeard2015-12-30

Something you should keep in mind if you decide to open your door on a motorcycle, or try to "put you in the ditch, under my wheels, or into oncoming traffic": This is a felony offense, punishable by up to 20 years in prison. Also, being as it is officially on record that this is a premeditated act, your vehicular manslaughter charge could be upgraded to first degree murder (I know that the DA would certainly try, at least). This is pretty clearly a joke post, so I would keep your thoughts to yourself.

What I said was that if I perceived a threat I would defend myself. I do not advocate violence at all, on the contrary, I mostly try to avoid it. But, anyone that rides up to another vehicle swinging something that looks like a club deserves whatever he gets.

Sharing a lane with a car is certainly legal in California, but not everywhere else in the US and it is a dangerous practice. Lanes are narrow enough for one vehicle at a time. Riding a motorcycle is an inherently dangerous activity. Bike riders need to be vigilant at all times. Non-motorcycle drivers need to watch out for everything on the road not just bikes. Proportionally, there are probably the same percentage of stupid people driving bikes as there are cars. It just so happens that there are a lot more cars on the road than motorcycles. As long as everyone respects each other and shares the road we will all get where we're going.

The fine difference being, that a stupid motorcyclist will kill themselves, while a stupid car driver can certainly kill a motorcyclist. I don't know of any incidents where a motorcyclist ever killed a driver and walked away.

Grazerquart (author)Bloodbeard2014-06-03

And it is legal to ride between lanes on a motorcycle in California

floptw (author)diyoutdoorsman2012-04-17

I agree, "whack-bonking" will only serve to escalate the situation and bring you closer to danger. My suggestion would be to just move away from the offender as quickly as possible.

Blaaken (author)diyoutdoorsman2011-08-21

I agree that you should drive responsibly. But the thing is that a motorcycle IS more maneuverable, BUT most people that are in a vehicle are safe because they essentially are in a big metal cage whereas the cyclist is not. The cyclist SHOULD be careful, but people in cars should ALSO be careful, before you think of changing lanes, turn your head, mirrors make blind spots that cyclists fit into. but i also agree you should not retaliate, besides possibly leaving a dent in their car with your boot, if they took you to court, and they had swerved towards you, you would be in no trouble.

That's why I had my own sticker printed that reads: "I'll WATCH FOR MOTORCYCLES when they ride like they've earned a license." The last thing I care about is some yuppy with a Harley going through a trendy mid-life crisis, or snot-nosed punks on their sport bikes. I'm in Fl with a bunch of refuse from the north congesting the roads....either on their phones or on oxygen and an array of meds.
Matter-o-fact, I'm thinking of having another sticker made stating: "When I retire I'm moving up north to drive 20mph under the speed limit. I won't mind my own business and then b!tch and moan about how much better life was in Florida....but I'll stay up north anyway so everyone can hear me whine. I'll vote to make the north more like Florida...and then go back to Florida in the winter."

And I'm a proud member of the Ones out of the Fives.

mncamper (author)Sovereignty2011-04-26

"I'm in Fl with a bunch of refuse from the north congesting the roads"

Still mad the south lost I see.

Sovereignty (author)mncamper2011-04-26

Yup, you got me pegged.

bo88y (author)diyoutdoorsman2011-04-04

I agree with all of these points, but I can't judge the impulse to whack a car as juvenile, becasue I've felt it so many times myself-- not on a motorcycle, but a bicycle.
- - On the other hand, magnanimity is more manly than an emotional lack of impulse-control. Read a biography of George Washington, or watch some old episodes of "Kung Fu."
- - One should distinguish the very different tasks of attracting notice for the sake of survival and exacting revenge. The former is prudent, but the latter is self-indulgent, emotional, and primitive, the kind of thing teenage gangs get all worked up about.
- - Our society is already losing civility fast, and contributing to the loss of civility only makes it worse. It can be an affecting gesture to reveal initial anger, but then make a visible transition to magnanimity and forgiveness. Unfortunately, this may often go unnoticed.

glorybe (author)bo88y2011-04-17

I rode motorcycles intensely for over forty years. At times I owned several bikes and no cars or trucks. I never had any trouble until a fool in a car plowed into me from behind, panicked, stuck me on his grill and stepped on the gas. I can no longer ride due to the limits of my neck movement from those injuries. But I will say that there are times when violent road rage is justified and that as a juror I would not punish the person for acting out even if he uses a gun.
By the way i live in a warm climate where riding every day is practical so the miles I put on my many bikes were really extensive.

glorybe (author)diyoutdoorsman2011-04-17

Keep it lite hearted. The guy is talking about a soft object that is blatantly non threatening in any way.
I will say that many car drivers feel they have some natural right to be stupid or to operate a motor vehicle when they really are no longer qualified.
Death to innocent motorcyclists from car drivers making what they call a "mistake" is all too common. If we ever get real about this issue we will test car drivers on a swoopy race track with numerous corners to see if they can actually drive a car rather than simply go straight down a road like a brain dead sheep on tranquilizers.

-Aj- (author)diyoutdoorsman2011-04-15

Read the fine print * for novelty purposes only*

If a car opened their door on a motorcyclist, for any reason, they are bound to be in a world of trouble. you may as well be purposely hitting a pedestrian on a crossing!
Only wearing protective gear and now pissed off.

And i can tell you right now there are many more incidents of motor cyclists being endangered by other vehicles than the other way around. Even cars in blind spots people have trouble seeing, so a bike 4x smaller is going to have alot more trouble.

Oh, and if you swerved at a bike to try and put them off the road, aside from being up on serious charges YOU would be the one "escalating a bad situation

The point of this instructable is to be fun / a novelty. The author does not condone hitting another vehicle with anything im sure. But i wouldnt blame him for wanting to in some situations.

lilroud (author)diyoutdoorsman2011-04-14

i bought my bike in 2006... brand new with 1.5 mile on int..... in now only has not even 4000 on it.... i have worked full time since i was 15 (27 now) my drive in my car is 12 miles to work round trip, (short i know) so needles to say, my car is my primary way of transport...... on my bike iv been ran into the median twice..... cut off countless...... and wrecked swerving to miss a retard in a car ..... every single time... the person in the car was one the phone, I dont speed on my bike, dont cut people off, dont ride asses, and i use my blinker like i would in my car.... everytime .... yes EVERYTIME on a bike that a useless driver almost took the use of my legs from me or worst..... they were on a cell phone, or wayyy to old to drive. mostly on a phone. being on a phone while driving is a juvenile point to all people on the road that they endanger. anyways im pretty sure this instructable was for mainly fun.... all well, everyone is eligible to put there 2 cents, its a free country, im just talking from experience....... and from a person that drives a car responsively and hence i wont get offended by this article because im not scard my car hood is going to end up with dents... my 2 cents

WayfinderAli (author)2011-06-03

Loud pipes save lives. If they can hear you over their stereo/cell phone, they know you're there. Seriously. I don't even have a bike. I'm always WAY more careful and aware when I HEAR a bike than when I see one. I hear it before I see it.
If you don't have a Harley, get a muffler thats loud as hell.
People in your neighborhood will be annoyed, but cars around you will know you're there.

Chris Logan (author)WayfinderAli2012-08-20

I know... Imagine what pink helmets could do!

topace52 (author)WayfinderAli2012-04-26

Loud pipes do not save lives. You want statistics, you should read the "hurt report." It has all the statistics you could want on motorcycle accidents. I have ridden the same bike with and with out loud pipes and it doesnt make a difference at all. Its all about the other drivers seeing you. Th majority of the time (especialy on the highway or interstate) you dont even hear a motorcycle unless its already in front off you.

2 stroke (author)WayfinderAli2011-09-23

i agree with you 100 % man im gettin a 2 stroke

rimar2000 (author)2012-04-07

Interesting but dangerous, Mike. Some drivers are able to step you over with the car for much less than a blow to the bodywork.

spawnos3717 (author)2011-12-29

I think most people who drive cars have got it in their head that they are above it all, and like all hipocritical bully types, will force you to their terms. Pedestrians, bikers and the like are (apparently) irrelevant, and as long as drivers get to their destination on time, who cares if they blatently injure someone. Perhaps psych evals should be issued before one can even test to drive or getting their heads out from under and start GIVING A S@#$!!..I think the term "idiot box" should have been reserved for automobiles.

soulman76 (author)2011-11-10

Assault is not your best option.

SageAurora (author)2011-05-10

Steel toed shoes work pretty well ;), I'm a cyclists and once when I was on my way to work wearing my steel toes, a car cut me off and I had to kick off the side of the car to get outa to way and stay balanced, but that also left a big dent in the side of the guys car.

2 stroke (author)SageAurora2011-09-23

lol im so doing that

riverpirate (author)2011-07-30

My pops was a club rider,and back in the day I asked him why he carried a ball peen hammer stuck in his frame.He told me it was a "traffic cop".

fredellarby (author)2011-07-29

Be ready when they respond with a sideswipe.

pellepeloton (author)2011-04-05

What about some big eyes painted on your leather jacket?

I heard somewhere that if you paint eyes on your cycle helmet those magpies in Australia would not attack you. I had a few swoops over me when I was cycling in the outback some years ago.

Then later I heard that if you put picture of eyes over the company cookie jar with the honesty box, the rate of people not paying dropped drastically.

So My theory would be that if you had eyes painted on your riding leather jacket, the car drivers subconsciously behave better? Just a theory.

Avatar_I_Am (author)pellepeloton2011-05-23

From the other side- Cannot tell you how many times a bike rider ran the stopsign, red light, and assorted right-of-way, and very nearly escaped death, and blamed it on the car driver. I see this weekly and almost daily in traffic. Way too many [adrenalin?] junkies on two wheels in northern Virginia who don't think about consequences, just speed!

scobu (author)Avatar_I_Am2011-06-27

Sadly those are the only ones people notice. I'll admit I love speed but there is a time and place. In heavy traffic wheelying down a highway isn't one of 'em. We could make comparisons all day long but just don't judge us by the minority

thinkdunson (author)pellepeloton2011-05-15


BrianJewett (author)2011-05-25

Personally, I get rather tired of these sissy pseudo-tough guy bikers putting up signs telling me that I should be responsible for their safety. It's not as it the rest of us are out to get them. Anyone on two wheels that doesn't ride as if they were invisible is just asking for natural selection. When it's your life on the line, a little care and personal responsibility are in order. Toys like this may be cute here on this site but they'll get you killed in real life. If someone tried this on one of my parents, they'd have about a 50/50 chance they'd swerve right into them before anyone knew what happened.

jamesnall (author)2011-04-03

I ride a Hayabusa so I know the frustration that people in cages bring on. However, I would NEVER recommend retaliation of ANY type. In this day and age you can end up SHOT for something stupid like this. This instructable should be taken down immediately. Bad, bad idea. Instructables has really taken on a legal liability with this one, that's for sure

Jason91887 (author)jamesnall2011-04-24

This is exactly what I was going to say. A friend of mine's father was shot in the chest when a car swerved in front of him and he got off his bike and approached it at the next stop light. Luckily he survived, but not without permanent repercussions. However, I know this was just in jest and for a bit of fun so carry on.

atypical (author)jamesnall2011-04-03

Exactly what Jamesnall said. Not only is this whole notion ridiculous, it also requires you to take a hand off the handlebars. It's unsafe on so many levels that it really should be removed.

lasersage (author)atypical2011-04-15

maybe a daft idea, I'm not impressed but taking your hands off the handlebars is not dangerous. My current bike (made in '97) requires you to remove your left hand to return the manual choke, my older bike requires the removal of first one hand and then the other to switch the dual petcocks from main to reserve when nearing the end of the tank of petrol.

skaar (author)jamesnall2011-04-15

i'd prefer mounting horns from a transport truck...

lilroud (author)jamesnall2011-04-14

only people thing that should be taken down is people dumb enough to try this that don't realize this was probably just for fun.......

armourkris (author)2011-04-05

nice, i like this. personally, i keep a few egg sized rocks in my pocket for those drivers who feel the need to swerve across 2 lanes to make a hard right turn without signaling.

balloondoggle (author)armourkris2011-04-23

I used to keep a cup of change in my tank bag. Toss a couple pennies over your shoulder at highway speeds and they'll back off.

bmlbytes (author)armourkris2011-04-20

Regular eggs might work just as well.

unaffiliatedperson (author)2011-04-23

road rage much?

graydog (author)2011-04-04

My best form of defense for cages crowding me is to do a slight "wiggle" while remaining in my lane. It is a simple move that gives the illusion of losing control. I usually use the counter steer method. Backs them off every time, even 3/4 ton pickups. This is the same maneuver used to avoid debris or pot holes.

Discovered it while riding in cars with non-bikers and heard comments of look at that motorcycle about to tip and the biker was just moving around in his lane.

It's effective and non confrontational. And confrontation with 2 tons on steel is what I want to avoid.

Pwag (author)graydog2011-04-22

Brilliant. Good idea man.

carpe_noctem (author)graydog2011-04-04

when cycling, to keep people from pushing me too close to the edge of the road/anything else, I generally, lean out towards them. It seems to make them more aware that i'm there...

Dr.Bill (author)2011-04-21

I just wear steel toe shoes and kick their door in.

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Bio: I'm Mike and I make crazy things at Instructables HQ in San Francisco. Follow me and try a few of my projects for yourself!
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