nitro coffee by mikeasaurus
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Sometimes the only thing to get me through a Monday is a strong cup of coffee, lately though regular coffee just hasn't been doing it for me. Even doubling down and getting doppio espresso has little effect. How can I enjoy a good stimulating brew if I've already built up a tolerance to caffeine? (and before you ask, taking a break from it is not an option).

If you're looking for a beverage that will give you neurological disorders involuntary twitches superhuman abilities, then this is your coffee, it's time for NITRO COFFEE!!

To make sure that the effects were genuine, wilgubeast and I conducted a series of tests to measure our ultra-caffeinated adroitness. The results were a little surprising.
But before we start there's some important stuff you need to know about what we're dealing with, our friend caffeine.

*WARNING*
*Caffeine is some potent stuff, take caution when working with it and when ingesting it.
The MSDS for caffeine is frightening, including such warnings as:

  • Severe overexposure can cause death.
  • Mutagenic for mammalian somatic cells (that's us).
  • The substance may be toxic to heart, gastrointestinal tract, central nervous system (CNS).
  • Can cause birth defects.
  • Repeated or prolonged exposure to the substance can produce target organs damage. Repeated exposure to a highly toxic material may produce general deterioration of health by an accumulation in one or many human organs.
*Other stimulants
In addition to caffeine I also brewed up some coca leaves, no big deal.
*Coca leaves are an alkaloid which are used as powerful stimulants, such as cocaine. Though coca leaves do have stimulant properties the leaves used in this project are far removed from actually doing cocaine (so no angry comments about doing drugs, hmm'kay?).
These coca leaves were bought online and shipped to the USA.
</warning>

Whew! With all these warnings you'd think that upping the ante on an already potent drink would be crazy. And, you'd be right. So don't do this, I'm a trained professional.

Enough talk, let's make some nitro coffee!


 
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Step 1: Tools + materials

tools+materials.jpg
Nitro coffee is broken down into 3 components: the brew, the sweetener and a coffee whitener.
To make your own nitro coffee you'll need:

    nitro brew:
  • High-caffeine energy drinks
  • ground coffee
  • coffee machine
  • dried coca leaves (optional)
    liquid sweetener:
  • sugar
  • water
  • powdered caffeine
    whitener:
  • half and half cream
  • antacid (white base)

 
Coca leaves were bought online
.
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Seidenfisch says: Apr 22, 2013. 7:05 AM
Aperture science mug: 'Cuz if it isn't dangerous, it isn't science.

I do wonder what would have happened if you would've dropped something like 5 or 10 mg ritalin in there.
MMoyce says: Dec 22, 2011. 7:01 AM
I waz on this stuff when i waz under 10
woodstockbirdy says: May 2, 2012. 7:34 PM
Arn't you dead yet?
MMoyce says: May 3, 2012. 3:08 AM
No im still going strong , Monster energy works well too :-)
instruct39 says: Jul 3, 2011. 6:22 PM
gee, sounds dangerous for a drink!
spectacular says: Oct 25, 2011. 11:02 PM
Yeah, is this actuallyb safe to drink?
woodstockbirdy says: May 2, 2012. 7:33 PM
No, not really. The world's most deadly drink is Vodka and red bull. This is not far off.
spectacular says: May 2, 2012. 9:26 PM
Mm. Sounds it.
wilgubeast says: Dec 2, 2011. 4:38 PM
It wasn't too unsafe. If you have a heart condition, unusual sensitivity to caffeine, or dislike the flavor of Red Bull, this is one you'll want to stay away from.

I tried it. Still alive. Wouldn't drink it again on purpose. But if you just really need to power through because you are a long-haul trucker or procrastinating college student... go for it.
woodstockbirdy says: May 2, 2012. 7:33 PM
And an Aperture science mug to fit.
80$man says: Oct 24, 2011. 6:42 AM
Extreme! I love coffee, too much sometimes... brewing something like this might make me wake up then!

I will try something similar and post when a 'win' has occured!
RamyOmar says: Oct 22, 2011. 7:59 AM
OMG! I will never try this with tempur ... it will destroy it!!
diabel says: Aug 27, 2011. 2:27 AM
LOL oral. xD
One. says: Jul 6, 2011. 2:42 AM
: D ITS AN APERTURE MUG! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
me be trollin'...
jessipurpleswirls says: Jul 4, 2011. 1:39 PM
This is awesome!! I experience the same disappointment in caffeinated beverages every day. How long did it last?
corkey123 says: Jul 1, 2011. 10:22 PM
WHAT IF, you boiled the Red Bull down so it was a concentrated syrup of the sugar, taurine and caffeine and brewed the coffee with that??
Alderin says: Jul 4, 2011. 12:14 AM
Taurine and Caffeine are fairly volatile compounds and would likely not survive the process of boiling down. Old coffee is less caffeinated than fresh brewed, as well the second brew with the same beans yields decaffeinated coffee. Not sure on the taurine, but I expect it to have similar behavior.

A slower, lower-temperature evaporation may work, but it is possible that these desired compounds would evaporate with the water. I'm not a chemist, so I'm not sure. Would be interesting to test.
BtheBike says: Jul 3, 2011. 12:44 PM
when taking a break is "not an option" ,its time to take a break.
can you say 'broken adrenal gland' ? =)
svereecke says: Jul 3, 2011. 5:54 AM
This will probably have a "mild" laxative effect , like say , a total fill up of the porcelain throne , followed up by excessively farting highly statically charged clouds of noxious methane . In other words you would turn into the "red spot" on Jupiter. My daily dose of energy drinks is 4 and my heart does not even go faster.
I stay my morose self (Mind you , I never checked myself if I am an android).
Squibb says: Jul 2, 2011. 6:37 PM
You forgot to add a portal gun to the list of supplies.
vipTricks says: Jul 2, 2011. 6:07 AM
(comments rephrased)
:)
Is there any possible contradiction between NitoCafe and other medication (like: Viagra) for example?
Thanx..

asteidl says: Jul 1, 2011. 11:18 AM
I like the scientific approach, and thorough reporting, however, I think some of the ideas could be improved upon.

First, coca leaves have coca alkaloids in them, including cocaine. This makes importation into the United States a Federal Felony, unless the the coca leaves have undergone a so-called "de-cocaine-ing," similar to decaffeination of coffee. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca_tea If the coca leaves have undergone cocaine removal, it still leaves a minute amount of cocaine in the leaves, leaving a possible risk if you need to take a drug test that day or the next, or if you frequent this beverage on a heavy, daily basis, then for up to a couple weeks. Namely, if you're drinking this at work, don't get hurt and ask for worker's comp.

Second, though a lot of thought evidently went into this experiment, the end result is not very remarkable (no offense intended). At only 4x the amount of caffeine than an average cup of coffee, it seems to me that drinking four cups of coffee would be preferable than brewing energy drinks through coffee grounds.

Third, energy drinks contain more than a few extra chemicals than just caffeine. These chemicals include (but are not limited to) carnitine, inositol, taurine, and creatine. (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energy_drink#Ingredients) Some of the chemicals can be taxing on internal organs other than just the heart. Also, some of the other chemicals in the energy drink (ie: preservatives, aftificial flavors, etc) may react if heated. And don't forget how much sugar is in the energy drink, plus the simple syrup. Might have wanted to do a glucose test before and after drinking this.

Anyway, if you are looking to increase energy in a natural way, try eating a balanced, healthy diet, lay off the coffee for a couple weeks, then limit yourself to a few cups a day at most, and only when needed to give a boost.

Good luck!
abnor says: Jul 1, 2011. 11:11 AM
Haha! This was a fun read. Applying science to normally ridiculous experiments is a fantastic way to test your professionalism!

I do hope nothing was hurt in this experiment.
H1T4TCH1 says: Jul 1, 2011. 7:59 AM
hahaha that's just awesome, no matter what's in it (cocaine or coca leaves) :P
excessive.insurgence says: Jun 30, 2011. 2:56 PM
uhm.. im not posting an 'angry drug comment' but coca plants are illegal in the states as with all parts.. how did you say you got it shipped here again?
sgouthro says: Jun 30, 2011. 10:15 PM
with the fresh coffee beans he also ordered from columbia haha
dyule says: Jul 1, 2011. 6:44 AM
ColOmbia...it is not the University, it's the country. Sorry, a pet peeve of mine. I'm on a mission to help people spell this correctly! Oh, and you can buy coca tea anywhere online, including Amazon. It is wonderful and has no "drug" properties!
hdaniel-1 says: Jul 1, 2011. 5:51 AM
Interesting recipe. I don't know how efficient, but a nice read :D
The problem for me is that I am immune to High-caffeine energy drinks :( I can drink 4-5 of those at once without any effect (I do drink energy drinks, but only for the taste. I really like it :) ..and for thirst, of course). And a strong expresso only has a slight effect.
Caffeine ampoules are the answer! =))
philerskine says: Jun 30, 2011. 10:22 AM
Why didn't you just use a caffetiere and lots of coffee grounds, brewed for longer?
Treknology says: Jun 30, 2011. 10:42 AM
The 'drip' coffee-machine only passes the water through once at a fixed rate, so you have to over-use coffee grinds.

If you want stronger you need a cyclic percolater where the water is continually cycled around through the coffee 'basket' until you achieve the strength desired. The back slap from this is that you end up with a more bitter product.
threemilechild says: Jun 30, 2011. 1:53 PM
The caffetiere, or french press, coffee maker can use (almost) as high a proportion of ground coffee to water as you like. It works by simply steeping the coffee grounds in water from a kettle, then pressing the grounds out of the brewed coffee.

I can make coffee of any strength between fairly weak drip coffee and espresso (the flavour is different, and better than either, imo). The only drawbacks are that it's less efficient (since you use a coarser grind) and not filtering through paper leaves more of the oils which may not be good for you and may bother some people, although other people prefer the flavour.

Treknology says: Jul 1, 2011. 4:03 AM
I was restricting myself to the device used in the 'ible, and admit ignorance as to the meaning of caffetiere.

You are right regarding lack of efficiency, and regardless of length of time brewed I find the final product weak and watery.

At least I learned a new word today.
philerskine says: Jun 30, 2011. 4:35 PM
My point exactly, machines can't make MY coffee
lukeyj15 says: Jul 1, 2011. 2:38 AM
I remember doing something similar. I mixed about 20 teaspoons of instant coffee granules, 30 teaspoons of brown sugar in a 600ml water bottle. The intention was to add a small amount to a glass of milk to make iced coffee. I did however end up drinking it straight in shots. *Please note, I never did, or intended to drink all that coffee at once. Simply to have a concentrated coffee syrup.
maxhuey says: Jul 1, 2011. 12:27 AM
So Please help me understand, why is it I get sleepy or even fall asleep easily when ever I drink a cup of good coffee? Cheers, max
MajikAly says: Jun 30, 2011. 10:07 PM
I'm a big fan of coffee (and a real late-night person) so I'll probably give this a try :)

Slight Warning (just for some people though)
Caffeine can cause problems in large amounts and a drink like this would be a definite no-go for pregnant women, people with heart conditions, children or people sensitive to caffeine.

Most adults can consume up to 300mg of caffeine (four average cups of coffee)
per day without unpleasant side-effects, but if you're having this stuff be mindful of what other types of caffeinated things (even wid small amounts) that you're having; such as tea, chocolate, medications, soft drinks.

lol. Sorry for being a pain; It's one of the areas I work in, so it's the first thing I think of after "Ooooo... I wants it".
wilgubeast says: Jun 28, 2011. 1:49 PM
I had no idea what I was volunteering for when I participated in this little experiment. It was... mildly uncomfortable. Like someone injected fiberglass insulation into the front part of my skull, removed my eyes and thoroughly dried them on paper towels, then made me do push-ups.
mikeasaurus (author) says: Jun 30, 2011. 8:49 PM
Just count yourself lucky I didn't make you run the mini-marathon as I had originally planned.
Also, the findings indicate that your performance increased in more areas than me. Maybe nitro coffee should be a regular morning bevvy for you?
Snappy83 says: Jun 30, 2011. 8:41 PM
I know I'm proberbly the 100th person to say this but I wanna steal that mug! lol great tutorial too!
Oscar_Scheepstra says: Jun 30, 2011. 7:25 PM
Seriously. Be careful there. a dose of 10 grams of caffeine can kill you. 10 cups of this thing will most likely send you to the ER.
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