Introduction: Surviving the Inevitable Zombie Apocolypse

Picture of Surviving the Inevitable Zombie Apocolypse

the zombie survival help manual

Step 1: Vehicles

Picture of Vehicles

you know you'll get tired after running away from brain hungry zombies for a couple days heres how to stay well rested.......VEHICLES (pictures from worst to best)

#4--the hummer-this is a good car for its sheer size and durability one could really crush a crazed zombie in this

#3--the Semi- good in all sorts of situations if you only have the cab then its like the hummer but if you have the trailer than you can carry supplies and sleeping room for your fellow head-bashers

#2--the tank-great for firepower and the ability to take all kinds of damage while still remaining intact the only draw back is speed unless you get a lite tank

#1--the AC 130-the ULTIMATE air support zombies can't fly so they can't touch you the big problem is that it SUCKS gas like a pump

Step 2: Weapons the Slide You've All Been Waiting For

Picture of Weapons the Slide You've All Been Waiting For

this is the slide about protecting your o-so-insignificant life (weapons in order from worst to best)(pic 1 this will happen if your a NOOB or don't get guns fast)

#10--the combat knife-lets face it you get a few but then you WILL get screwed

#9--machine pistols(MAC 11 shown)-easy reload beautiful rate of fire.....but crap damage and crap accuracy

#8--magnum(.357, .44, or .50 all work)-high damage high penetration and total badassnes..... not great reload and wrist-breaking kick "I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

#7--shotgun-the stereotype zombie control gun but it's great for medium-close range combat one of the worst reloads of any of the guns featured and plenty of kickback the good outweighs the bad "don't leave home without it"

#6--molotov cocktail- unlimited range depending on strength, angle, and height good for groups but don't let them near you when their still on fire!

#5--flamethrower-close range only, easy to make, powerfull and flamible are the stats make up your mind about this controversial zombie weapon

#4--the grenade launcher-this "noob tube" is one of the cheapest guns out there and considered to be very "noobish" but bear in mind it's anti-zombie power

#3--minigun-the uber cannon spitting out op to 10,000 rounds per 60 seconds and at 30mm bullets that's a lot of stopping power the drawbacks include the unbelievable kick, crazy inaccuracy, waist of ammo, and lastly it weighs in at about 500lbs but who needs all that when firing a minigun

#2--wonder waffel DG2-my favorite gun in Nazi Zombies the electric charge can leap from one zombie to the next frying them all. at only 3 shots to the mag and a 6 second reload time everything must be dead before you can reload safely

#1--nuclear warhead-the much anticipated last weapon is a nuke i know...i know but think about it it could cleanse a city completely of its zombies you better be way away before it goes off though

Comments

~Aeronous~ (author)2010-06-05

Don't be stupid. How the hell are you going to get an AC-130? Or a tank for that matter.

mr. cool 384 (author)~Aeronous~2010-06-06

this is all hypothetical militarry base ...duhhhh....derrrrrrr

~Aeronous~ (author)mr. cool 3842010-06-07

You didn't mention it, and I'll bet you don't live at one. This is the worst zombie survival instructable. The tank would run out of fuel in a day, and they don't even run on normal fuel.

craige.goad (author)~Aeronous~2014-09-16

Right on man or Woman!

~Aeronous~ (author)2010-06-05

Dude, with the minigun, just secure it to a turret. And the molotov does not have infinte range. Its range is about 200 ft, any more and the gravity will crush the glass in on itself. You need to think more. Long range melee weapons are your best bet. No reload times and no ammo. They are quite also, so they won't atract more zombies.

mr. cool 384 (author)~Aeronous~2010-06-06

no way zombies are not that stupid i personally would rather have a gun or firearm rather than a baseball bat

~Aeronous~ (author)mr. cool 3842010-06-07

Zombies are stupid. They run on instinct, which is basically getting food. Food=You. You don't think. Zombies are going to hear a gunshot a mile away, it will send them searching. You couldn't be more stupid then going around with a magnum and blasting their heads off. When you run out of ammo, every zombie in 1 mile range is wanting your blood. Shows over unless you have a car.

mr. cool 384 (author)~Aeronous~2010-06-07

i dont think you should be to worried if u got a minigun or a noob tube i don't think that small part of their brain that is still intact would notice a gunshot rather than a human smell

~Aeronous~ (author)mr. cool 3842010-06-07

You have no clue. No clue. Fxck, you must have some brain dementia or shxt, search it up. All the zombie sites tell you zombies can hear, see, smell, taste, and touch, if not better then us. They have a virus which makes them want to eat blood.

mr. cool 384 (author)~Aeronous~2010-06-11

in every thing ive watched they are brainless sacks of nothing that live(ha) for their next meal (like fat people) i dont know what ur watching but i get my info from movies and video games

~Aeronous~ (author)mr. cool 3842010-06-12

Oh, so you get you get from movies and video games??? All zombie movies are joke fake horrors, and same with video games. Left4Dead? Thats ridicoulous. Go and get the official zombie guide book, or search up stuff on the internet.

craige.goad (author)~Aeronous~2014-09-16

Excpet for World War Z that movies was based on the Book (of the same name). The book was writen by the same person that Wrote the official Zombie Survival Guide (If the ZSG was the book you where talking about.)

mr. cool 384 (author)~Aeronous~2010-07-14

oh cause they would know so much more cause they have expeirenced it in their movies and video games yep i did this as more of a joke than an actual real survival guide you read this stuff and by some horific satanic post-appocolipictic circumstances zombies start to pour from the ground than ya you are going to have time to leisurly parruse instructibles and the web and not act on total instinct

~Aeronous~ (author)mr. cool 3842010-07-15

Oh right you did it as a joke. WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

I coulda swore it was vampires that 'eat' blood... I thought zombies were usually after brains.... mmm... nice juicy brains.

No, only the stereotypical goofy commercial zombies do.

gotenko11 (author)~Aeronous~2013-09-06

im with you 10000000% aeronous you know the true zombies

megustatrains (author)2013-09-14

missing 1 thing... A CHAINSAW! seriously the most effective melee and a knife is chosen instead?!

megustatrains (author)2013-06-03

AC-130 really? How will you get it? I dont know of any OP plane shops nearby D:

mole_meam (author)2012-07-19

is this some kind of left 4 dead guide? AC-130! seriously?

mickydeezers (author)2011-07-01

what about a house boat get some cat fish an grill em up if u get a couple of them u could make a little floating town in a lake or ocean of coarse you would have problems with fresh water for the ocean and zombiez tryin to swim but its not hard for a small craft to patrol or get some water every once in a while

Landon Sullivan (author)2010-10-06

Lolwut. That isn't a tank, it's a Bradley Fighting Vehicle. Much different.

That also isn't a minigun that you speak of. You are talking about a Gatling gun, which was what the A-10 Warthog was designed around. If a human could fire a 30mm, 10,000 rpm ANYTHING, then we would all be screwed.

you also don't want a nuke, you want a THERMO-nuke.

Halo53 (author)2010-09-02

Dudes all you need is a padlock weeks supplie of food & water a modified tank with the gas tank inside and gas and youll live unless its the i am legent zombies.......

Kanein Encanto (author)2010-06-07

News flash: Zombies (as seen in movies) DO NOT EXIST. Instructables, please filter "zombie apocalypse" from being a valid instructable title / subject for any new instructables.... it's not like there's not already about a dozen of these things on here...

Dude, people put them up because they are fun. They don't seriously think that zombies are real.

~Aeronous~ (author)2010-06-05

Yay! The chainsaw dude in Resi freaked the hell out of me and The crabhead zombie from Half-Life. Hummer is NOT a good car. Its a fuel guzzler, so In a few days you'll run dry. Just because it is big doesn't make it good against zombies. You need to use logic. Any fast moving hard object will take out a zombie. Hummmers are your worst option. Get an extremely fuel efficient japanese car, and weld some bars to the windows. I can easily tell from this instructable you are american.

mr. cool 384 (author)~Aeronous~2010-06-07

yes i am american but when this does happpen im guna see u in ur smart getten eaten alive barrs or not then with a satisfying crunch i will run you over in my hummer/semi

~Aeronous~ (author)mr. cool 3842010-06-09

You suck. You have personal attachments to vehicles. That big great ugly piece of shxt (the Hummer) will run out of fuel on you in a few hours. What you going to do then? pull out a noob tube? Oh yeah, you don't have one. Maybe your dad's rabbit hunting rifle? What a head. Get off the site. This site is for people 13+, not 7+.

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