Introduction: Ultimate Sandwich

I love sandwiches. I really mean it - I LOVE THEM! I even went as far once to bake my own hand-shaped loaf of bread and made a hand sandwich. That was awesome, but I wanted more.

I decided to put my sandwich making skills to the test and try and create the ultimate sandwich- a sandwich so amazing, stacked so high with goodness, that Dagwood himself would behold my creation and bow before my mastery. I knew this sandwich was going to be huge, so I called in reinforcements and asked sandwich-expert stumpchunkman to help me craft and consume the ultimate sandwich.

Hungry and ready to make your own? Conquer, if you dare!

Step 1: Prepare + Assemble

Making an ultimate sandwich isn't hard, but requires a desire to clear out your refrigerator and a dedication to challenge your intestinal fortitude.

Here's what's in mine:
  • asiago cheese loaf
  • refried beans
  • deli sprouts
  • fried eggs
  • bacon
  • marbled cheddar
  • moroccan spiced chicken breast
  • cottage cheese
  • spinach
  • Ritz crackers
  • guacamole
  • sundried tomato turkey meatloaf
  • swizz cheese
  • rosemary ham
  • salt + pepper
  • melted tex-mex cheese
Some care was taken in selecting the order in which my sandwich was assembled, meat and cheese layers were alternated ensuring an even vertical distribution of protein and dairy, and the cracker layer was situated in the middle in lieu of an additional slice of bread; Vegetables were added in strategic layers to separate some of the messier ingredients.
Depending on your ingredients, your assembly order may be different.

Step 2: Consume!

After your ultimate sandwich has been assembled it's time to eat! My ultimate sandwich was too big for my mouth (and I've been told many times that I have a really big mouth), so I had to squish mine down some in order to eat.

Eating the ultimate sandwich is a two-hand operation. If you're not using two hands when eating then your sandwich is simply not big enough and needs more ingredients to make it 'ultimate'.

Step 3: Pace Yourself

Consuming the ultimate sandwich is like an endurance race; pace yourself early so you don't fall flat near the end. If you thought that you were here to only enjoy the sandwich, you'd be wrong. The aim is to finish the ultimate sandwich, your enjoyment comes second.

I started with big bites, then decided to slow down and took a small break...big mistake. With sandwich (and egg) all over my face, this break from chomping almost made me pass out on my plate. But this won't happen to you, you're a champ; you're much to smart to stop your marathon chew-fest. Nap-time is for after.
Stumpchunkman seems to have passed out on the floor from the awesomeness of his half of the sandwich. Somehow, he woke up to finish his half before me.

Have you made your own ultimate sandwich? I want to see it!

I'll award a 3-month Pro Membership on Instructables.com and a digital patch to the first 10 original versions of your ultimate sandwich shared as a picture in the comments below.
Good luck!

3-month Pro Memberships remaining: 7/10

Comments

author
Bungoy601 (author)2013-06-11

Dude! I just favorited it! Congratulations!

author
Bungoy601 (author)2013-06-11

Me here again, this is EPIC!!!

author
Bungoy601 (author)2013-06-11

What's up with you bro? I always stay tuned to you.

author
Sovereignty (author)2013-04-29

Sundried tomato turkey meatloaf sounds awesome. It looks like a cold cut. Was it from a deli?

author
mikeasaurus (author)Sovereignty2013-04-29

You can never go wrong with a deli that has cold cuts and cheese.

author
onrust (author)2013-04-26

What a beautiful monster you created.

author
lazybios (author)2013-04-20

funny guys ! :)

author
savagehart37 (author)2013-04-17

I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE SIR.

Here's my Mediterranean/Italian Mashup Sammich.

Enjoyed with a nice cold sodie pop, a hugenormous pile of pickled turnips, and a nice mix of oil and vinegar for drenching said sammich.

NOM.

sammich.JPGprettyNOMdone.JPG
author
mikeasaurus (author)savagehart372013-04-17

I just word from Sandwich HQ... "ultimate!"

I like the direction you went with your sammie, and the pictures are hilarious.
Thanks for sharing! Enjoy the 3-month Pro Membership and the digital patch.

author
vincent7520 (author)2013-04-15

A very nice try for any "ultimate" competition !…
Congrat's… 
However, I feel something is missing to be the acme in ultimates and make it the complete all in one meal sandwich.
Myslef I would add : a good juicy extra rare pice of hamburger, a handful of french fries, a layer of pickles, a deep fried piece of cod and some royal Alaskan shrimps or crab, a good thick piece of cheesecake with marshmallows on top with some corn flakes… Your sandwich could then be called the ultimate all in one American food recipe !!!…

Tell me if you try it.

Myself I'll try your recipe only… and maybe I'll improvise from there !…

Keep on the good works and congrat's again !!…

author
outtamymind0357 (author)2013-04-14

Wow, that really is a masterpiece right there! I saw this and it reminded me of when I made something similar (except a burger) a few months ago and posted on Facebook. After looking around a bit, I dug up the picture finally and wanted to share it with you guys!

What do ya think?!?!?!

774180_323523867751422_867397797_o.jpg
author

Oh man, that looks tasty and definitely 'ultimate'!
Thanks for sharing, enjoy the 3-month Pro and the patch.

author
Arghus (author)2013-04-15

that just too much stuff combined

author
Horef (author)2013-04-14

Jesus H. Christ.
:D

author
thegreat58 (author)2013-04-14

Must be a big sandwich, ya went from a 5 o'clock shadow to a full beard eating it!!

author
tritian (author)2013-04-14

cool. maybe it should be called "my ultimate sandwich" lol

author
sunshiine (author)2013-04-08

I love this Mike! You guys are so funny! The sandwich looks amazing! I am tempted to post my version with a twist! I want to buy one of those egg molds or what ever you call it. I bought one many years ago and it did not work very well, so I will look for one like you show here. Thanks so much for sharing and have a great day!
sunshiine

author
illuminatis (author)sunshiine2013-04-14

in a pinch, instead of a egg mold, you can just use a washed out can

author
sunshiine (author)illuminatis2013-04-14

I'll give that a try, thanks!

author
horphmyre (author)2013-04-14

May I suggest potato chips for some extra crunch. It's hard to eat just one, isn't it.

author
highvoltagedude (author)2013-04-14

sandwich...

author
lunarmagpie (author)2013-04-14

Wow! That sammich sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit! ;)

author
KROKKENOSTER (author)2013-04-14

Hey it looks super BUT YOU MUST GET YOU JAWS so to bite the entire sammy in one bite and then eat the sammy in one meal i.e. not devided into two or more meals or portions Say have jaws like a mamba!!

author
Jayefuu (author)2013-04-14

Matt's beard's looking good! Did you show Sammy the sammidge?

author
Bungi-bun (author)2013-04-14

It looks like a layered heaven.The ritz crackers and guacamole is such a creative idea. I gotta make and joyfully consume one of this. Thanks for the inspiration!

author
ac-dc (author)2013-04-14

Suddenly instructables has redeemed itself, that is a work of art. Only needs some of my hot sauce on it. lololol

author
illuminatis (author)2013-04-14

I was with you, til the cottage cheese, that stuff just has no taste. It'd be better with sour cream, EVERYTHING is better with sour cream.

author
funnyvalentine (author)2013-04-14

YUMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOO except I'd need French fries too. Thanks!

author
flavrt (author)2013-04-11

Extremely amusing. The only suggestion I could offer is a layer of coleslaw. It helps to adjust the hydration ratio of a Dagwood.

Sadly for me, I'm headed in a different direction.

beefsammies.jpg
author
mikeasaurus (author)flavrt2013-04-11

If you pile that meat high enough to use two hands, I'd qualify that as an 'ultimate mini sandwich'

author
mikeasaurus (author)2013-04-11

Did you just call me fat?

author
StumpChunkman (author)2013-04-08

Thank you again dude! That was the most delicious, and filling sandwich I've ever had. I'm still not sure how I managed to finish my half. On a related note, if you're looking for help on any future food related projects, please keep my number on speed dial. ^_^

author
sunshiine (author)StumpChunkman2013-04-08

Too bad you guys were so far away or I would have made extra! I was working on a different instructable and happened to notice this one and decided to make a Blt with salt roasted garlic, bacon, cheddar, baby spinach, tomatoes, and caramelized peppers. I don't need the membership just wanted to share . . . . Your sandwich looks amazing!
Cheers!
sunshiine

Roasted garlic BLT.JPG
author
mikeasaurus (author)sunshiine2013-04-09

Oh man that looks good, and with that many ingredients it's definitely 'ultimate'!
Enjoy the patch and membership!

author
sunshiine (author)mikeasaurus2013-04-09

Thanks Mike! It was the best BLT I have ever eaten thanks to your challenge and the bacon contest, I have discovered a new favorite recipe. Cheers!
sunshiine

author
depotdevoid (author)2013-04-09

Man, I thought I loved sandwiches, but you take it to a whole new level!

author
mikeasaurus (author)depotdevoid2013-04-09

Just thinking about this sandwich makes me want to take another nap. Maybe it's time to clear out your fridge and make one, too! (you may need to do it over a weekend, depending on 'ultimateness' of your sammie)

author
veruca_salt890 (author)2013-04-09

Wow this is too much to process at the moment. Looks like the best sandwich that ever was though.

author
caitlinsdad (author)2013-04-08

So, you guys were separated at birth?

author
mikeasaurus (author)caitlinsdad2013-04-09

Stumpchunkman is the handsome one in a t-shirt.

author
fostermoody (author)2013-04-08

Oh baby. Transcendent.

author
GorillazMiko (author)2013-04-08

Yes.

author
arkangel1975 (author)2013-04-08

(add random Homer Simpson sounds here)

author
jessyratfink (author)2013-04-08

You guys are sandwich gods!

author
M.C. Langer (author)2013-04-08

WOW!! THAT'S WHAT I CALL A SANDWICH!!!! :-)

About This Instructable

19,467views

272favorites

License:

Bio: I'm Mike and I make crazy things at Instructables HQ in San Francisco. Follow me and try a few of my projects for yourself!
More by mikeasaurus:Unusual Uses Ziploc BagsEasy Magnetic Grocery ListConcrete Drawer Pulls
Add instructable to: