10 unusual uses for moustaches

 by mikeasaurus
Featured
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Moustaches (mustaches sp.) are wonderful things, they can be groomed, grown wild or printed to novelty-size and applied in suspicious places. Many famous men (and some women) from history have owed their notoriety to their unmistakable moustaches, I wanted to join the ranks of these prestigious moustaches and decided to grown my own and then explore the uses I could do with my new face fur. Here are 10 unusual uses for moustaches.

After growing a full beard I shaved it into a rakish moustache, sure to tantalize even the most fickle mustachio aficionado. I soon noticed a change all around me, everywhere I went women were mesmerized and drawn to me, and men wanted duel in the streets.
Whoa, moustaches have a strange, powerful effect on people.

Don't take my word for it, here's some interesting trivia about just how awesome moustaches are:
  • In a standard deck of playing cards the King of Hearts is the only king without a moustache.
  • Scientific research, commissioned by the Guinness Brewing Company, found that the average mustachioed Guinness drinker traps a pint and a half of beer in their moustaches every year.
  • On average a man with a moustache touches it 760 time in a 24 hr day.
  • The oldest artifact portraying a moustache was from 300.BC
  • Burt Reynolds is widely considered the world's 'Manliest Man' (c.1972), in no small part to his full moustache.
  • Men with moustaches are better lovers.  Ok, I made that one up.
Trivia aside, moustaches have defined great men and their identity for centuries: Nietzsche, Dali, Einstein, Hulk Hogan...and now, me1! But, aside from looking devilishly handsome and irresistible, what else can you do with your moustache?

Follow along and learn 10 unusual uses for moustaches!

1 (citation needed)


 
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Step 1: Disguise / villian / 80's trucker

disguise.jpg
villian.jpg
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Probably the single greatest attribute your moustache can lend you is the ability to disguise yourself: a novelty hat, a few odd garments and you have yourself an instant disguise.

Classic disguise:
Here we have a classic example of someone who would seamlessly blend into any background. Non-descriptive bland clothing, oversize hat, mirrored-shades and a moustache..who was that man? Maybe we'll never know.

Villain:
Nothing makes you look more sinister than a devious moustache. I could probably trust this guy if it wasn't for the moustache, I mean look at him: Cape, top hat, cane, he could be a magaici....wait a minute. Is that a moustache? He went from possible magic-performer to the antagonist from just about every episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

80's cred:
If wearing white shutter-shades, high-boxed baseball caps and neon isn't enough, throw a moustache into the mix and *bam!*; automatic 80's credentials. You'll look so authentic Marty McFly wouldn't even question which time you're from. Make sure you make that awkward 80's face we all made back then, too, it really sells the look.
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monsterlego says: Sep 15, 2011. 12:19 PM
Muuustache... Muuustache...
steve.jpg
Plo Koon in reply to monsterlegoMar 19, 2013. 6:29 PM
now the monkey is mesmerized and drawn in
sjeenyus in reply to monsterlegoNov 15, 2011. 6:50 PM
wait... what movie is that from? I know its a recent disney/pixarish movie, but i can't put my finger on it......
monsterlego in reply to sjeenyusNov 16, 2011. 2:12 PM
Cloudy with a chance of meatballs.
BLUEBLOBS2 says: Jun 16, 2012. 12:25 PM
My handlebar kinda got an ego and decided to jump off of my face.
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KontaKt says: Apr 30, 2012. 10:02 AM
I grew this one!
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mikeasaurus (author) in reply to KontaKtApr 30, 2012. 10:34 AM
That's a pretty good moustache! You should get your friend in the background to join you in some facial fuzz.
bg_askins says: Apr 5, 2012. 4:26 PM
well done good sir
Plo Koon says: Jan 13, 2012. 9:28 AM
don't you mean a pint and a half of BEER? it would be a rather spectacular feat to trap a bear in your moustache.
blodefood says: Jan 9, 2012. 5:03 PM
One of these got Jack Layton (Rest In Peace) elected and he was so popular his party became the Loyal Opposition for the first time in history.

Nickname: Trustache.
32ndmir says: Jan 2, 2012. 1:37 PM
This is why "The Spy" is such a bad spy, he lacks the proper tools.
sclocher says: Dec 27, 2011. 7:20 PM
this is the most ridiculous instructable i have ever seen..... which give me even more ridiculous actions to go on..... thank you my friend! lol, very entertaining
agraham10 says: Dec 23, 2011. 10:01 AM
im the one on the left XD the only decent pic had to be from a night out didn't it
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mikeasaurus (author) in reply to agraham10Dec 23, 2011. 11:09 AM
Nice 'stache! This is a fun action shot, you get a digital patch and a 3-month Pro Membership! Way to go!
artisnotfart says: Dec 22, 2011. 3:56 PM
Sadly, most females don't get 'staches. But if I say that your post is cool, will my project (Wheels Hoodie) score better in the weekly challenge?

What? Oh. Well, it's a cool post anyway.

noahh says: Dec 16, 2011. 9:06 PM
While I'd like to stay anonymous, my mustache does not.
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mikeasaurus (author) in reply to noahhDec 18, 2011. 9:39 AM
I approve! You've been patched!
mrmerino says: Sep 12, 2011. 8:47 AM
Are you calling me fat?
smcdonnell in reply to mrmerinoDec 16, 2011. 11:09 PM
HAHAHAHAHA!
deltasierra says: Dec 12, 2011. 6:27 PM
I know it might seem picky, but I love your typo in the second paragraph (and who knows, it might not be a typo!): "...everywhere I went women were *memorized* and drawn to me..."

I know it's supposed to be "mesmerized", but it's really funny to imagine you memorizing the women being drawn to you. :) Hee!
Justin Tyler Tate says: Dec 11, 2011. 10:24 AM
Do you know the international gesture to ask if someone would like a mustache ride?
Step 1: hold the tips of your middle finger and thumb together and lick them so as to apply some moisture.
Step 2: Take the tips of those two fingers from your mouth to the center of your mustache and, in one smooth motion, wipe the saliva across your mustache (working from the center to the outside).
Step 3: Follow through with what you just promised to do.
danny6114 says: Dec 7, 2011. 7:47 AM
That classic disguise is a classic Inspector Clouseau!
discowhale says: Dec 1, 2011. 6:03 AM
monsterlego,
did you have to put THAT picture up?!

My name IS Steve!!

AND I have beard AND mustache!

I'm freakin' out, 'cause since I saw that movie, I've been terrified of monkeys!!

AAAAAARRRRGGGHH!!!!
Silentz says: Nov 5, 2011. 3:45 PM
I moustache you a question: How did you come up with this list?! :D
bmelton1 says: Oct 30, 2011. 5:34 PM
Not sure what I could have done with this one but.....
Picture 36.jpg
mikeasaurus (author) in reply to bmelton1Nov 2, 2011. 3:14 PM
nice moustache, you've been patched!
wakojako says: Oct 3, 2011. 7:57 AM
I just realised, this used to remind me of a game my mate used to play when he was younger, Pluck That Tash
wakojako says: Sep 26, 2011. 11:34 AM
bubbaclaw says: Sep 25, 2011. 9:13 PM
LOL
There's a REASON why they have been called that nickname for years.
jcksparr0w says: Sep 25, 2011. 2:00 PM
man you are right, mustaches do have strange powers over people. I'm 15 and i have a mustache and girls ask me about it and guys ask me if I'm gonna shave it. even an adult or two have talk to me about it(not my parents).
halzark says: Sep 24, 2011. 8:45 PM

Mustaches are a welcome mat for the nose... here's how!
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jessyratfink says: Sep 11, 2011. 6:36 PM
My hero. I want a moustache so bad.
monsterlego in reply to jessyratfinkSep 23, 2011. 1:36 PM
This from a girl? lol. :)
VerendusVir says: Sep 14, 2011. 2:13 PM
(removed by author or community request)
monsterlego in reply to VerendusVirSep 15, 2011. 12:11 PM
So how are you grow one next summer while doing it this summer? ':l
Wasagi says: Sep 12, 2011. 2:04 PM
Yes!
zazenergy says: Sep 12, 2011. 11:06 AM
I love the photos! You would make the perfect villain!
angelabchua says: Sep 12, 2011. 10:39 AM
oh. my. gawd. hahahahha loving step 7
depotdevoid says: Sep 12, 2011. 7:44 AM
This is almost enough to tempt me to reverse my usual goatee with no mustache. I find that with a mustache I usually look too much like a used car salesman.
mikeasaurus (author) in reply to depotdevoidSep 12, 2011. 9:03 AM
Car salesman could be one of the many new looks you could adopt, just think of the possibilities!
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