After growing a full beard I shaved it into a rakish moustache, sure to tantalize even the most fickle mustachio aficionado. I soon noticed a change all around me, everywhere I went women were mesmerized and drawn to me, and men wanted duel in the streets.
Whoa, moustaches have a strange, powerful effect on people.
Don't take my word for it, here's some interesting trivia about just how awesome moustaches are:
- In a standard deck of playing cards the King of Hearts is the only king without a moustache.
- Scientific research, commissioned by the Guinness Brewing Company, found that the average mustachioed Guinness drinker traps a pint and a half of beer in their moustaches every year.
- On average a man with a moustache touches it 760 time in a 24 hr day.
- The oldest artifact portraying a moustache was from 300.BC
- Burt Reynolds is widely considered the world's 'Manliest Man' (c.1972), in no small part to his full moustache.
-
Men with moustaches are better lovers.Ok, I made that one up.
Follow along and learn 10 unusual uses for moustaches!
1 (citation needed)
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Signing UpStep 1: Disguise / villian / 80's trucker
Classic disguise:
Here we have a classic example of someone who would seamlessly blend into any background. Non-descriptive bland clothing, oversize hat, mirrored-shades and a moustache..who was that man? Maybe we'll never know.
Villain:
Nothing makes you look more sinister than a devious moustache. I could probably trust this guy if it wasn't for the moustache, I mean look at him: Cape, top hat, cane, he could be a magaici....wait a minute. Is that a moustache? He went from possible magic-performer to the antagonist from just about every episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
80's cred:
If wearing white shutter-shades, high-boxed baseball caps and neon isn't enough, throw a moustache into the mix and *bam!*; automatic 80's credentials. You'll look so authentic Marty McFly wouldn't even question which time you're from. Make sure you make that awkward 80's face we all made back then, too, it really sells the look.
















































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Nickname: Trustache.
What? Oh. Well, it's a cool post anyway.
I know it's supposed to be "mesmerized", but it's really funny to imagine you memorizing the women being drawn to you. :) Hee!
Step 1: hold the tips of your middle finger and thumb together and lick them so as to apply some moisture.
Step 2: Take the tips of those two fingers from your mouth to the center of your mustache and, in one smooth motion, wipe the saliva across your mustache (working from the center to the outside).
Step 3: Follow through with what you just promised to do.
did you have to put THAT picture up?!
My name IS Steve!!
AND I have beard AND mustache!
I'm freakin' out, 'cause since I saw that movie, I've been terrified of monkeys!!
AAAAAARRRRGGGHH!!!!
There's a REASON why they have been called that nickname for years.
Mustaches are a welcome mat for the nose... here's how!