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Being Witty ! Answered

Wittyness eh?

Its a type of intulectual humor. You have to be sharp, quick and say the funny remark at the right time! They say its charming, and people notice that about you.....eventually*.

I absoloutly LOVE IT.

I can be witty.....
But only with my friends. Generally im comfortable around them. But I can't use my wit with new people i meet, or people i don't know very well. : (
Mostly im to slow, or i can't think of any remarks to make. ( any that i think are funny)

What do you guys think? any tips?

I know some of you on instructables are witty and have smart humour,......i can tell from your comments. Lol.


question then, is someone that is not witty...... witless ?

Then you would be drunk.

By the way, calling someone in Chinese (sui nao,water on the brain) means there is a screw loose. Dian nao,electric brain on the other hand means computer.

not so much drunk as water logged; even though I have never been logging

But you are logged on...I rest my caseI know where this is going...

I had to take that log off the fire, it got too warm ;-)

And what kind of case did you rest? Violin, Cello, attache`? ;-)
fooled ya didn't I ? LOL

If you can't take the heat, then you have to get out of the kitchen...or use sunblock and tanning lotion. I wanted a cold case so I stuck it in the fridge.

What is this? Shakespeare?

I'm glad neither of you are related to me.

I do not bite my thumb at you, but I do bite my thumb, sir.

I try to avoid feeding on my own appendages :-)

I've never known you to bite the hand that feeds you.

That could be referred to as a form of overbite I suppose :-)

A forked tongue would be handy....I would only need a knife and spoon then to eat with

Do you eat while spooning often? ;-)

I am married....I am forbidding to be out spooning ;-) at least in public...

But definitely in private! ;-) Lucky wife...

the word "forbidding" should have been forbidden

I need my bod(y) to have less "swell" factor

What could be better than a swell body?? I wish mine was "as well..."

Well, my swell is around the midriff, and I look like I am 8 months pregnant (and have been now for a good 6 years, so I don't want to hear from those that carry this kind of weight for only a few months before giving birth, how no man can understand....believe me, I know). I have actually lost about 10 lbs though since my operation, so I am slowly reducing the swell and can actually put my shoes on without overstraining (like I have been doing for the past 6 years). If you wish for my body, you can have any of the extra I have ;-)

Spare parts, eh? Give that a wide berth...

Not parts, insulation ;-) I could do without the middle-earth spread (spread spectrum waist)

I think that's what Frodo was doing, preventing Sauron's evil forces from spreading around middle-earth?

Well, in looking at him, he was doing worse than I was....or was that Bilbo who got chubby...

But I think Bud's Weiser.

only because Ara's gone (bah, that was bad).

But since it hasn't been forbidden, you may feel free to use it to its fullest!

The quote, I believe is The Lady Doth Protest too Much, me thinks.Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 222-230

Though this be madness, yet there is method in it. ;-)

> waits for GorillazMiko to insert Sparta video clip <

Are you just quoting or method acting?

I don't act....I am the read deal....especially when playing poker...

It would really hurt if someone was poking you.

And now, for something completely indifferent ;-)

Well, I don't mean to imply that all of my replies that I supply are puns (or even funny ;-) I like to rhyme, spoof, and make subtle pokes at the ridiculous.

So you mean to apply the claim that most of your responses are pliable?

Or is that a claim to be used as 2-ply?

they are more pliable then they are palatable LOL

They certainly seem to roll off your palate easily.