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Date or No Date? Answered

Okay so here's the story.  I've known this girl for about a little over a year. She's nice, but we barely talked last year. Now this year, we're talking more together during lunch. She dated this one guy who can be a jerk sometimes but sometimes is also cool (he's kinda my friend but sometimes when he acts like a jerk he's annoying).  2 weeks later she broke up with him. Now lately I've been talking with her, and we joined the same club. The First meeting, she hugged me TWICE. Then, we kept talking a bit more, talked during lunch about things we like, and when it was cold (waiting for the bus home), I gave HER a hug to keep her warm.  We chatted on the bus home, but now she won't sit near me anymore or talk to me. So this is what I'm asking. 

You guys think she likes me, and you think I should make a move? 

4 Replies

mole1 (author)2013-03-20

I think you scared her by trying to keep her warm with a 'hug'. Girls are just people. If you watch a little kid, they'll approach something or someone, touch them, back away, touch them, and back away - trying to decide if the situation is safe. If towering Auntie Gertrude then scoops the kid up in an embrace, the kid wants down NOW! You see the parallel?

So give her LOTS of room. Smile, speak, but let her set the pace in terms of touch.

Next time, give the girl your gloves or something. She'll remember you in the incident as being noble, generous, and concerned for her well being.

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Vyger (author)2013-03-20

From the title I thought you were asking about a new end of the world date, like a revised Mayan calendar. Oh wait maybe you are asking about the end of the world.
Most adolescents finish high school and then begin the rest of their lives and often never see any of the others again, unless they have a reunion years later. What topics you choose to study will have a much larger and longer impact on your life than maybe dating someone who you will almost for certain never see again.
My son who graduated a number of years ago and moved away to take on a job where he has now been promoted to head of the tech department, came back to visit and ran into a guy at the local grocery store who he went to school with . At first they didn't recognize each other, the guy was going to people and asking for handouts and he asked my son for some cash. Then he recognized him an became totally embarrassed. The guy used to be popular in High School. Apparently it really helped him in his choice of professions.
Pay attention to the more important things.

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Vyger (author)Vyger2013-03-20

Here is another one, real life experience. One of my daughters friends in HS got pregnant in her last year of school. She dropped out but she did manage to get a GED. Anyway, I used to know her because I used to substitute teach. So I ran into her recently. She is living in a neighboring town with 4 kids now. She has been married and divorced twice and is currently living on the child support that she gets from the various fathers of her children. This is a lot more common than you might think. An easy way to make a living for a girl is to have a bunch of kids and have the courts go after the fathers for child support. With cheap paternity tests now its pretty easy to prove who the father is. For the fathers it becomes an 18 to 20 year commitment. If you think this is an unusual case its not. I did census bureau interviews for a number of years and I ran into many cases like it. Your future can get totally screwed by one night of stupidity.

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frollard (author)2013-03-20

if she's free, the standard advice stands: be awesome and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Don't push.

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