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Forum topics that go nowhere Answered

Has anyone noticed some forum topics look like by Grampa Simpson rambling?  They are usually by new members, and I often flag them as spam,  they often look like this....... But less funny

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.
Three wars back we called Sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw" and back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish lunchbox." Of course, nobody knew that but me. Anyway, long story short... is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling.

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liquidhandwash (author)2014-12-18

There has be a few more of these stories that go nowhere sometimes, I look at them for a laugh, this one was for weight loss. Apparently, Getting run over by a bus will cause weight loss, as will "returning" on a single mom

"I was six years old turn a man on a bike ride and she's only
three and she I'm separated from me Tennis Center home she just wanted
to follow she just basis on a break and I was annoyed that she's
fairness you she wanton be with me and so I just from returning on a
single mom an she ended up getting run over by a school bus"

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caitlinsdad (author)2014-12-11

Those topics seem like the work of some spammers that get through the filters. I guess whatever random word salad of keywords or phrases used are to catch your eye or searches. Sometimes they forget to put in their spam link.

I used to bait them back but was told adding comments to them slows down the process of the system purging it from being viewed. Flag them and move on. Although, I have gotten some good PMs back about one's right to SPAM and endangering his livelihood and a nastygram from the tourist bureau from the loveliest place on the planet that you should visit.

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seamster (author)caitlinsdad2014-12-11

I second the idea of not leaving comments on spam, whether it is forum spam or instructable spam . . . As I'm the one that usually has to delete them before I send the spam off to wonderland!

I love nothing more than swiftly purging the stuff that shows up in the daily spam queue. You guys are awesome, and your flagging of stuff makes a huge difference. High fives all around!

Who needs a fresh, new robot t-shirt?

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seamster (author)Kiteman2014-12-11

I'm not sure what's left... but surely you can't be running low?

How many contest wins are under your belt? ;)

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Kiteman (author)seamster2014-12-11

LOL, I wear them a lot, and find them wandering into other people's drawers as well...

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caitlinsdad (author)Kiteman2014-12-11

Must be something you do across the pond, find them wandering into other people's drawers, that is frowned upon here, unless you know the person very, very well...and agree to the fine print in the terms of service.

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user

Thanks Caitlinsdad

I thought we could poke fun at them, for a giggle.... Back i the war we didnt have spam, we use to call it sham you young whipper snappers have go it soo good, all the sham you can eat, then Teddy Roosevelt brought in the onion tax and we couldn't go out at night, as those garlic munching Shelbeviles would steal our pants.

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Kiteman (author)2014-12-11

As CD says, they're usually spam - I think they string together a bunch of trending search strings and then push them through google translate a couple of times...

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Downunder35m (author)2014-12-11

I flag them on a regular base.

It is a spam bot where you simply enter the link you wan posted and the generator picks some random text from an ebook or website.

You can easily spot them as the link is always at the end and due to a bug in the bot always contains characters like << or >>.

The bug free version creates embedded links as well and is able to remove the non working characters in a link.

A lot of forums now implement a capcha before new members can post.

So you have to answer a simple question like "2+2 equals?" followed by standard captcha in mage or video form.

Another way is to simply not allow to post links until a moderator approved the posting.

In 90% of cases those bots create links to websites you would need to visit anyway LOL

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