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**HELP** 14 and 13 year old romance help?? Answered

*HELP*I'm 14 years old, I have a girlfriend who I've been going out with for about 3-4 months, I think she loves me, and I DEFINATELY love her, she's 13 and we are meeting up in 5 more days. We are going to a beach location where we stay with her family for 7 days. Last time I took her to our favourite little hide out where we used to chat and all (ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO!) and it was a very failed attempt, we stayed there for at least 30 minutes SILENT and just looked at the ocean, OMG me and her were too damn scared to say anything! We will be doing this again in 5 more days anyway, and I made her a really pretty braclet for Christmas and I will give it to her in our 'Hide out'. What chance do I have of her kissing me, or her going through with this?? I so want to kiss her so badly because she is SOOOO cute! DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS??

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ilpugBest Answer (author)2011-12-20

Go to the beach. Put your arm around her, and see if she reacts. if she doesn't, ask her if she wants you to kiss her. It really isn't as akward as it seems. If yes, then you are set. If not, then just enjoy the ocean and her company. You are still young, so if this does not work out, then you have your whole life ahead of you.
Go easy man. If the trip lasts for seven days, enjoy it, but if she isn't into you, don't push it.

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Instructable04 (author)ilpug2011-12-20

Are there any ways that I can tell that she wants to go through with this before-hand??

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ilpug (author)Instructable042011-12-22

well, that is the hard part... Just make sure she trusts you.

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blkhawk (author)2011-12-21

Young man. I am going to give you the same advice I always give to my teenage children, have friends but do not get romantically involve with anyone until you are mature and finish your education. I know that it is a beautiful illusion but it doesn't matter how in love you might feel at this moment, the reality is that "puppy love" does not last forever. You will find that you may not be compatible 100% with her on everything. Believe me when I say that your question has been asked many times here. Stay friends and give yourself plenty of time to finish your education and get to know other girls. Why would you like to only focus on one girl when you are only 14? My 15 year old son has been "in love" so many times that I have lost count. Be wise and although you like her try to be friends with her. Do not do anything that you may regret later! Yes, I am old fashion and believe in abstinence until you are mature enough to know the consequences of engaging in sex. Maybe it is not what is on your mind right now but it is completely natural to feel intense feelings of sexual attraction at your age because the hormones in your developing body are very active. Sorry to be the old fashion man but in the long run you will wise up.

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thegeeke (author)blkhawk2011-12-21

+1

You should really wait until you are a few years older. Trust me. The longer you wait, the more you will understand what we are saying. I am not an old man or anything... I'm in my 20s. At least wait until you are out of high school and in college before you start dating. I am so glad that I waited until I was in college before I started dating. It is hard when you see all of your friends around you dating, but you will be glad later if you don't date at your age.

I'm not just being a religious freak here... understand that logically if you are 13 or 14 years old now, your relationship will probably not last very long, and you are just setting yourself up for disaster. This is especially true in long distance relationships. If you only see each other once a year, then there will be problems. One of my friends got engaged before he went to college, but they ended up breaking up after a few years, because long distance relationships just don't usually work. I know you probably don't want to listen to what we are saying, but when you ask something like this in a public forum, expect to run into a few people like us. :)

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blkhawk (author)thegeeke2011-12-21

Thank you! I hate to be preachy but I always believed that the longer children enjoy their childhood the better they become prepared for adulthood. Many kids these days want to grow too fast. They are under a lot of peer pressure to start dating. Children should enjoy themselves!

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Soup03 (author)blkhawk2016-07-30

excuse me!!? We are not just being peer pressured to do just that. There is so much more and sometimes it comes from the adults around us. They say that we need to be mature and grown up about the time we hit twelve but then age fourteen hits and a kid wants a girlfriend and suddenly we grew up to fast for them and they change their minds? Pardon my tone for what I say in this comment but I am fourteen with a job paying of debts to my mom and sister for gas money for them having to take me in and out of town for work and yeah I had a girlfriend but she ended it to protect our friendship and the second one I broke up with for the same reason, but that's called growing up and it's not to fast because people used to get married before they were in their 20's. Now I'm all for taking time and waiting but in this world we can't always do that. College costs money and so does food and a home, car, and especially a family, and while you should wait to make a plan before jumping into something as big as a kiss, I also think you can't just be an immature kid till your eighteen because sooner or later we all have to grow up and the sad thing is we can't get our childhood back but for real we can postpone the big things like the birds and bees but if you want a girlfriend at fourteen I support you!??

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thegeeke (author)blkhawk2011-12-21

I couldn't agree more. :)

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RSV26 (author)blkhawk2012-01-30

can u please whatch your language ,kids can be wandering the site , im 14 so just watch it please

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dean14111 (author)RSV262012-07-04

im 14 also and it doesnt bother me. :)

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RSV26 (author)dean141112012-07-05

its a subject i try to a void.

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dean14111 (author)RSV262012-07-06

ok, i was just wandering, and i take it that it didnt turn out well. sorry to hear.

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blkhawk (author)RSV262012-01-30

I haven't used foul language. We are sexual beings, and sexual education should be part of every school curriculum. Sex is not bad in itself, it is something that should be discussed openly the proper way with the right people. Your parents should have a discussion with you regarding sex and when to know when you are ready to enjoy it. Again, I did not say anything wrong. I talked about it because many children your age already engage in sex.

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RSV26 (author)blkhawk2012-01-30

DUDE i have never gone on a date in life , never had a girl friend . im a syco

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Instructable04 (author)blkhawk2011-12-21

Yes, You're right, It's just that me and her have been friends since we were about 7 years old, and believe me, we don't want to engage in sex or anything like that until we are mature (18+), It's just that we feel we can move on from being something else that just best friends. She used to live in Copmanharst, just a country mile down the road, and she is thinking of moving back very soon.

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dean14111 (author)2012-07-04

hey whats going on with you and her now? p.s im also 14.

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Re-design (author)2011-12-21

You'll never regret the things you do just the things you didn't do!

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Instructable04 (author)Re-design2011-12-22

Soooo.....your saying that I SHOULD 'smooch' her while I can b4 it's too late??
(note that she WILL be moving on to highschool and I am in year 8...)

8-)

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Re-design (author)Instructable042011-12-23

No, I'm saying that if she still seems interested in you they you might kiss her. Even is she isn't ready to be kissed it's not likely to mess things up.

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astroboy907 (author)2011-12-20

Sitting alone at the beach in a hide out without any interruption, even silent, seems pretty good to me already! :)

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Yeah, it's just so FRICKIN PERFECT, it's just the courage to say something to her! It's so frustrating yet so...beautiful!!! (hope I'm not too corny!)

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I've never actually been in a relationship (don't plan to for a few years at least) but I do know that the first words are the hardest. Just kind of outright say what you want ( like ilpug said), and if she reacts, ok, and if she is offended, just don't make a *huge* deal about it. If she doesn't like you that much, you can probably still be really good friends. If she says no to you, just try to accept it and know that she probably has a good reason for it. Good luck!

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astroboy907 (author)astroboy9072011-12-21

also, relationships at that age are usually not serious. I do not recommend becoming anything more than a "casual relationship" (really good friends), without age or some serious parental agreement on both parts. Parents have their opinions too. Its good to listen to them, before you go off and do something they might disagree with. ;)

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Thanks for that. I think (Peter, Isobelle's dad) that he trusts me because I ask him first before I go off for a walk with her or go some place. I think his fine with most of the sensible things that I do with her! Do you think I should ask him if it would be OK to like, kiss her??? : ~ It would be pretty awkward!!

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Instructable04 (author)2011-12-20

There is one very big problem that I have not told you yet. I only get to see her ONCE A YEAR because she lives in Darwin, N.T. I know she likes me because she practically screams when I ask her out, she likes 'spying on me' and loves going for walks along the beach with me.

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