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Hilarious Jokes.... XD Answered

Like many others, I am a person that loves to laugh, so if you got any good jokes or hard riddles, let everyone know.  Here are a few of my favorite jokes-

Bungee-Jumping in Mexico

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.

Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him.

The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"

An American, a German, and a Mexican 

There is an American, a German, and a Mexican. They are in all in a boat. The boat is about to sink. Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter.

The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says, "We have a lot of bear in Germany so we don't need these!"

The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says, "We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"

The American grabs the Mexican and throws him out.

The German asks why he threw the Mexican out.

And the American replies, "We have a lot of Mexicans in America so we don't need him!."

50 Replies

user
masterchief1257 (author)2011-04-26

ya i herd the last one before but with a plane

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Randomguy65 (author)2010-07-27

The second one made me "LOL!", even though it was racist

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user
FFVIIBOY (author)2010-07-19

Why did the chicken cross the road... TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!! HAHAHA oh yeah, wow... that wuz hilarious

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user
RavingMadStudios (author)2010-05-15

Q: What's 20 feet long and smells like pee?

A: A conga line at the retirement home.

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user

hehe wow, also funny, but disturbing  XD

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user

"Disturbing" is kind of my niche. ;-)  You should hear some of the ones that I can't post here....

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lemonie (author)RavingMadStudios2010-05-16

A lady in the pub was telling us about an incident in which her young son had knocked an old-lady and her crockery over in a shop. She said she'd just swung back ready to slap him when...(see PM for the punchline)
We did laugh, a lot.

L

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Kryptonite (author)lemonie2010-05-19

Gah! Pm's going to take for ever now.

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RavingMadStudios (author)lemonie2010-05-16

Man, you're killing me here. What's the punchline?

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user
lemonie (author)RavingMadStudios2010-05-16

I sent it to you in a PM.

L

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RavingMadStudios (author)lemonie2010-05-16

Must be stuck in the intertubez. It'll probably show up in a day or two. I've had a couple of PM's do that before.

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user

hehe WOW....... =]

Why can't you post them here?

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user

If a joke about pinatas could be seen as offensive, then most of my favorites would be considered much more inappropriate than that. And rightly so.

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acidbass (author)2010-05-11

 i actually think there is a group for this try to find it 

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user

Really. did you just have to ruin this for me =[

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user

 srry i just wanted to let you know so you arent in agony when you find out if i didnt tell you 

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user

 srry couldnt help it i am really sorry

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user

 thanks it is a good idea so i would say find the group and then add this forum topic to that group

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user

Hhmm. you know what that actually sounds like a ood idea, I'll do that =]

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user

 told you i am a so called veteran with this site if you have any questions ask me 

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user

why are you a so called veteran?

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user

 because i have been on the site for like two years 

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user

Wow really, thats a long time =]

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user

 yep not as long as some of these chaps but long

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user

I've only been here for maybe a month, but I feel useless because I have only posted one ible =[

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user

 its okay i posted my first ible about a month AFTER i got here and all of the other ones have all been made in 2010

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user

Really, hehe

I will have posted a bunch of other ibles posted a.s.a.p, my computer likes to act up and not let me put pictures on the computer =[

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user

 yeah so its cool muchacha dont worry about it

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user

I like the muchacha part lol

OK Muchas gracias por hacerme sentir mejor por no aver puesto tantos ibles....=]

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user

 holy crap.........ummm........................thank you very much........ no posted ibles?

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user

I said, thank you for making me feel better about not posting many ibles =]

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user

 oh............(wow i feel stupid when it comes to spanish) no prob

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user

No you shouldn't, your a lot better then people I know that say to Mexican.....

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user

dot dot dot dot, was that really all you could say?



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user

"Muchachita de ojos verdes, labios rojos y ardientes"

Love that song =]

Hehe, I bet you were tired, but I have no idea why so....

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user

 little girl looks green....................red

i got home from my trip last night

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user

"young lady with green eyes, hot red lips"

OIC, hehe, Once ,my sister and I traveled alone on a bus thing (I'm to scared of heights to get on a plane) and we got here at three in the morning, in the middle of spring and it was snowing, Colorado has crazy weather.....

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user

 oh 

yeah i am also feaked out with heights but i am fine on planes i just tense up during takeoff and landing 

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user

I'm like freaked out of heights though, my dad has to take a long way to take me to school cause I will not go over a bridge, I won't get on a elevator, and I always hold on to the little stick thing on stairs =[

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user

 hmmm have you tried closing your eyes hmmm people usually take elevators if they are petrified of heights (like you and me) i think you mean banister

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user

I will start crying if I'm to high up, I really will =[, I've tried almost everything yet I still am terrified of heights

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