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Philosophical Question: Are you anyone's Favorite person? Answered

I saw this while I was looking for something else, and it seemed like a good question to ponder, and maybe work on:
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T3h_Muffinator (author)2007-11-09

Well... I'm not sure if I'm their favorite person, but they're definitely mine: My best friend Ellen. Although, I think that I'm in her top 5 ;)

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fungus amungus (author)2007-09-27

I'm not surprised that this question would originally come from Miranda July. I didn't care for her movie, Me and You and Everyone We Know and I don't care much for this either. How philosophical is it to be vain? How much do you need to be valued by others in order to have value in yourself? It's maybe a good question for the blog generation. If a blogger blogs and nobody comments, does that blogger actually exist? If anything, a line of reasoning that can follow this is purely about trying to become someone's favorite person and thus changing your ways to be more appealing to them. An old coworker of mine would buy toys for his son all the time so that he'd be the cool dad and be loved.

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Goodhart (author)fungus amungus2007-09-27

How philosophical is it to be vain? How much do you need to be valued by others in order to have value in yourself?

Anything one can think about abstractly can be philosophical.

What about the morality of condemning another culture? The saying that one is better than another? I have waxed philosophical for over 40 years and can philosophize about dirty underwear if need be LOL

If anything, a line of reasoning that can follow this is purely about trying to become someone's favorite person and thus changing your ways to be more appealing to them.

Indeed, it can. But it doesn't have to. One could come to the conclusion that (and I hate most cliche`s) "what comes around goes around". That is, respect is earned, love is "given", and if you get it back, you are doubly blessed.

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fungus amungus (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

So there is a difference being able to argue about anything and then finding things that are worth arguing about. A good friend of mine will argue about anything and will argue opinions he doesn't believe in just to try it out. You can change the question to be "Am I loved?" if you want, but that is a very different question. There is no necessarily concrete follow-up to this question, sure, but I feel that it has quite inherently shallow idea behind it. Should I be concerned with being someone's favorite? And just what does it mean if I am not? I read a quote today that I feel is appropriate here: "It is better to be interested than try to be interesting" For me, this question is concerned more with the latter and just not as... well... interesting.

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Goodhart (author)fungus amungus2007-09-27

I read a quote today that I feel is appropriate here:
"It is better to be interested than try to be interesting"

For me, this question is concerned more with the latter and just not as... well... interesting.

Which is, in fact, the very condition which will bring about being someone's "dearest", only one, or favorite, yes ? :-)

Tis not mine to argue or disagree, but tis mine look at all facets of the diamond I hold (inside my head), and make sure I have polished it well.

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fungus amungus (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

Not sure what you're saying there. Trying to be interesting will make you someone's dearest and favorite?

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Goodhart (author)fungus amungus2007-09-27

That "being interesting" rather then "trying to be" (try is an overused word that has so little meaning in reality: "try" to drop a pencil sometime, you either do it or don't: As Yoda once said: "Do, or do not; there is no try." So, instead of using a facade, if one becomes genuinely interesting (has a wide range of topics they can discuss, can ask questions to draw others out, etc), they will endear themselves naturally to others. But it can't be forced or contrived, it must be "interest in subjects, etc, for the sake of the subject, not to impress others". Sorry I wasn't clear (and probably still am not completely clear LOL).

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fungus amungus (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

OK, I see, but I think you missed the point a little bit. Trying to be interesting is inherently seeing yourself from the outside and basing decisions on that. You're cheating yourself and you're being phony and dishonest. You end up holding yourself to some standard and if you find that that standard changes you'll need to keep adjusting accordingly. On the contrary, being interested means that you seek out stuff that is interesting to yourself and in the process of so doing you assimilate some of that knowledge, find the bits that are most appealing to you, and will then want to spread them around to others. This way you are truly sharing instead of showing off.

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Goodhart (author)fungus amungus2007-09-27

Trying to be interesting is inherently seeing yourself from the outside and basing decisions on that. You're cheating yourself and you're being phony and dishonest.

Exactly, that is, trying is not being, so I agree.

being interested means that you seek out stuff that is interesting to yourself and in the process of so doing you assimilate some of that knowledge, find the bits that are most appealing to you, and will then want to spread them around to others.

Which is how one becomes interesting. Yep, we are in sync now :-) I just couldn't communicate it succinctly...

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Goodhart (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

I ended my other post with: it must be "interest in subjects, etc, for the sake of the subject, not to impress others". :-)

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Very well said.

This very well may stem from the "need" to be accepted or even better better, the "need" to fit in among peers. It does seem to fit that she looks very young.


I'm willing to bet that there are several other cultures that would be totally confused by this question. It's not that they can't understand the question, it's that something like this isn't a social issue within their culture.

Perhaps it's a little off topic - but on the subject of cultural difference... Margaret Mead did a study on adolescent women on a small village of Samoans (early 1900's). She found that their transition from child to adult didn't have all the crazy stress, emotional turmoil etc. That is to say, the emotional distress you may have experienced as a teen is may have been result of your society - and not simply hormonal. But I digress.

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Goodhart (author)trebuchet032007-09-27

it's that something like this isn't a social issue within their culture.

True enough, but it only begs the question in cultures of competition: how do we change this, and still feel "community spirit".

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trebuchet03 (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

Perhaps it's the cultures of competition that lack the community spirit ;)

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Goodhart (author)trebuchet032007-09-27

perhaps, then we must find ways to instill it, yes? Still, there are few things in the world though that bring people together like facing a tragedy together, not competitively, except that one is combating a common goal, enemy, situation.

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Patrick Pending (author)2007-09-27

My wife and daughter think I am a god - they obviously have impeccable taste and excellent judgement ;-) Cheers, Pat. Pending

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Goodhart (author)Patrick Pending2007-09-27

My wife and daughter think I am a god

The god of good, or the god of evil LOL it does make a difference. ;-)

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Patrick Pending (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

I may have (slightly) exaggerated, for dramatic effect, my wife's opinion of me ;-) As for my daughter, it's a full-time job trying to live up to her positive image of me! Cheers, Pat. Pending

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Goodhart (author)Patrick Pending2007-09-27

I know, and I was just teasing. Still, there is something to instilling "that doesn't work" attitude when it is needed. Keeps one from "seeing what the red burner on the stove feels like" or "finding out how many rocks one can hold in their pockets while under water". :-)

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its a lion (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

"seeing what the red burner on the stove feels like" it hurts. badly. dont be stupid like me and touch the eye to see if its hot. ok because im lazy. im my favorite person does that count?

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Goodhart (author)its a lion2007-09-27

I was just communicating that "being perfect in the eyes of one's offspring" is not necessary; because one day they find your flaws and it all comes crashing down. But, if you demonstrate what bad comes from the flaws of one's past, you may help them avoid the same pain, as it were.

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its a lion (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

i know. just figured i would share some more info. perhaps what i said goes better under the what not to do thread? sorry, cant remember the exact name of it.

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Goodhart (author)its a lion2007-09-27

oh sorry, I got confused :-)

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NachoMahma (author)2007-09-26

. I doubt if I'm anybody's favorite, but I'd like to think I'm on a few ppl's Top Ten list. I can't think of any one person I would call my #1 favorite (daughter comes close).

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westfw (author)NachoMahma2007-09-26

Yeah. There's an awful lot of silly emphasis on being "number 1" in US culture. Donald Trump may want the top "intern", but I'd rather have numbers 2, 3, AND 4 working with me... (shucks, if you can get people from the top 5% in any given area of pursuit, you're doing awfully well. And that could easily be a million people...)

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Patrick Pending (author)westfw2007-09-27

There also appears to be (at least from this side of the pond) a great deal of emphasis put on winning and losing in the US. Phrases like "loser" just aren't (commonly) used over here, and we don't even have an equivalent. We get a lot of US TV shows over here and it is always something of a shock to me to see kids in these shows calling each other losers. Cheers, Pat. Pending

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Goodhart (author)Patrick Pending2007-09-27

I am a loser and proud of it ( I was 256 lbs, and now am down to 234) And I am a quitter and proud of that too (I smoked for 20 years, and now I have quite that, since June 20, 2002) LOL

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Patrick Pending (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

I quit smoking, along with my father-in-law, about 12 years ago. I managed to kick the habit, but he didn't. Sadly, he died 7 years ago from lung cancer. I also found out recently that my close friend, from school, had died of lung cancer last year. Pat. Pending

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Goodhart (author)Patrick Pending2007-09-27

What helped me was watching relatives die from emphysema, THAT was scary to me. I don't think anything scares me more then suffocating to death....slowly. My condolences for your father-in-law and friend.

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Goodhart (author)westfw2007-09-27

Not so much #1 over everyone else in the world, but this is more along the lines of: do you have a friend/spouse/partner that would like to be with you more then another. We all should have at least one such close partnership (I think)

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Goodhart (author)NachoMahma2007-09-27

I have to agree with Pat, as we seem to have the most in depth conversations.

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Actually NachoMahma your my favourite poster on instructables! Cheers, Pat. Pending

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jessyratfink (author)2007-09-27

My boyfriend and I have a mutual favorite person thing going on. We're mind twins. It's fun. And I know I'm at least on a few top 5-10 lists. I'd say I'm pretty lucky as far as that goes.

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Goodhart (author)jessyratfink2007-09-27

Aye, that is how it should be in a relationship (I think)

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zachninme (author)zachninme2007-09-26

(Sorry for the "spam" :P. Next time, you can just remove the uk. There isn't any difference, I think its just used for the localization, uk isn't much different, but fr will be, the videos are still the same)

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Goodhart (author)zachninme2007-09-26

Um Spam ? Did I miss something ?

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zachninme (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

Well, 3 posts is a lot :P

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Goodhart (author)zachninme2007-09-27

Uh oh, I guess I have to cut back then....

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zachninme (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

No, MY posts :P You're fine :P

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Goodhart (author)zachninme2007-09-27

I know, I meant elsewhere ;-)

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Goodhart (author)zachninme2007-09-26

Oh, ok since it kept telling me that it was an incorrect video link and that was the reason I used the HTML link instead.
I am learning (slowly ;-) ).

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Goodhart (author)2007-09-26

Personally, I have a lot of "favorites" which obviously means none are really counted above another (I don't play favorites).

I like what Will Rogers said: "I never met a man I didn't like." meaning he liked something about everyone he had met.

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Patrick Pending (author)Goodhart2007-09-27

Sounds like Will Rogers was really into men.

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Goodhart (author)Patrick Pending2007-09-27

mankind, i.e. Homo sapiens ;-) Now gorillas were totally different LOL

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theque (author)2007-09-26

i wish i was someones favorite person, so that i know i was making somebodies day better when they saw me :), its a really nice feeling. But nobody really Knows me. Havent quite met anyone who i have really wanted to be more open(?)

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gyromild (author)2007-09-26

I saw this while I was looking for something else

Hmmmmmmm.. what were you actually looking for..?

Back to the video, it's a thought provoking question.. In the end I guess, all you need to be is just one other person's favorite person. That should be enough.

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Goodhart (author)gyromild2007-09-26

It was listed below a video I was viewing...I don't know what the connection was *shrug*

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Aeshir (author)2007-09-26

For those who have dial-up and therefore can't watch videos on the intertubes, what is the question?

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Goodhart (author)Aeshir2007-09-26

My apologies, I did initially load this from home on dialup and watched it from there, but I understand, it took a full 20 minutes for the whole 3+ minutes of video to load in (for some reason I can't get it to play on FireFox).

Anyway, the question she discusses is: Are you anyone's favorite person?

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