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Talk like Shakepeare day! Answered

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Thursday has been declared Talk like Shakespeare day! We don't know exactly when he was born, but we're calling April 23 close enough! Readeth the proclaimationeth. Refuse to speak in any tongues save ye olde english Thursday, and force your friends to do the same!

Here are 10 quick tips on how to talk like Billy from http://talklikeshakespeare.org/:

1 Instead of you, say thou. Instead of y'all, say thee. (This one will be hard for me! :D )

2 Rhymed couplets are all the rage.

3 Men are Sirrah, ladies are Mistress, and your friends are all called Cousin.

4 Instead of cursing, try calling your tormenters jackanapes or canker-blossoms or poisonous
bunch-back'd toads.

5 Don't waste time saying "it," just use the letter "t" ('tis, t'will, I'll do't).

6 Verse for lovers, prose for ruffians, songs for clowns.

7 When in doubt, add the letters "eth" to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).

8 To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth or
wherefore.

9 When wooing ladies: try comparing her to a summer's day. If that fails, say "Get thee to a
nunnery!"

10 When wooing lads: try dressing up like a man. If that fails, throw him in the Tower, banish his
friends and claim the throne.

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50 Replies

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thematthatter (author)2009-04-26

I tried to pick up a girl like this, she thought I was Alex from A clockwork orange.

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Camisado (author)2009-04-24

Shakesphere? Oh, you meant that guy, with the thing....

But seriously, who the HELL is Shakesphere?

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caitlinsdad (author)Camisado2009-04-24

Your computer would overload if you did a search on him, even if spelled incorrectly. He was a historic English literary figure and playwright on which many quotes, ideas, and themes have been based on. Required reading in the civilised world.

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Camisado (author)caitlinsdad2009-04-24

Oh, that guy, yeah, yeah .... I saw him on my backyard, I was like WTF?!, I did some research and it turns out he was my grandma's alter ego.... Freaky.

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DJ Radio (author)Camisado2009-04-25

WTF, He was the 15th century celebrity! Your grandma couldnt possibly have existed in the 1400's

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Camisado (author)DJ Radio2009-04-25

Who said this ain't the 15th century?

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KentsOkay (author)2009-04-22

M'lady, thoust posteth first! Stoketh my flame of rage, this does. SWORDS AT DAWN, you gleeking hedgpig's daughter by a worm infested mangy raven!

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Lithium Rain (author)KentsOkay2009-04-22

*thou dost :P You indeed showeth yourself possessing not only the language skills of this glorious period, but an attitude rivaled by no knave. Bravo, kind Sirrah, for thou hast proven thyself and shown thy true colors, deceiving me no longer.

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KentsOkay (author)Lithium Rain2009-04-22

Knave am not I, but rogue! Fondle thy purse, borrow thy horse, eat thy bacon, is I. Simple knave am I not.

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Lithium Rain (author)KentsOkay2009-04-22

Thou hast no concept of honor or morals; begone, thou foul puking tardy-gaited gudgeon!

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KentsOkay (author)Lithium Rain2009-04-22

No concept of!!!... Thou art the sweat-scum of a mangy doggerel grappling with foppish sow in yonder leech field!!

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caitlinsdad (author)KentsOkay2009-04-22

Ladies, ladies, persisteth in this most unkind manner unbecomest of civilized beasts and I shalt by my word and honor have to raiseth the kerchief to tame this most foul of exchanges...waiteth, perhapseth mud-wrestling would becometh thou challenge...Sirrah Nacho <sniveleth>

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KentsOkay (author)caitlinsdad2009-04-24

Sirrah, thoust meddle with fire, and thou shalt be burndeth. >tosses into mud pit

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caitlinsdad (author)KentsOkay2009-04-24

Au contraire, but I possesseth supercalifragilistic agileness trespassething through fire and flames most expialidociousethly.

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Lithium Rain (author)KentsOkay2009-04-22

Indeed, neither concept nor practice, thou slanderous shag-haired lewdster!

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caitlinsdad (author)2009-04-23

So no one dare speaketh and forever holdeth thine peace? No roguesque behaviour to accompanieth such merriment? Do pray tell there is still hopeth before twilight encroaches.

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Keith-Kid (author)caitlinsdad2009-04-23

Bleh, 17th century is like, so like, last week ya know? Like, 21st century is like all the rage right now!

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PKM (author)2009-04-23

Forsooth! This morn methinks I did espy
a Shakespeare google doodle with mine eye,
'tis now the time to speaketh as the bard;
to rhyme pentameter can be quite hard.

Verily bumpeth I this thread, for now is that most sacred of morns to a Briton- the day of St. George, who bravely slayeth dragons and hath many pubbes named after him, and a day for remembering the manners and customs of a bygone age.

Eat, drink* and make merry, sirrahs and mistresses!

*Verily, only if thou hast achieved the age of majority in thy duchy or principality for the drinking of sack and ale.

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Rock Soldier (author)2009-04-21

My pooreth attempt to poetry.

How might I convince thou to stay?
How might I keep thou at bay?
Walk with thou in a warm Summer's day
and talk with thou in a Winter's night
I might play thou a melody
For perhaps a piece of poetry.
That is how I would keep thou in my heart
And how I would be in Thou's.

What do thee thinketh?

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Goodhart (author)Rock Soldier2009-04-22

What do thee thinketh?

I thinketh that it definitely does not stinketh ;-)

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PKM (author)Rock Soldier2009-04-22

OK, this is a pet peeve of mine, and I normally ignore it but since we are talking about the subject anyway

THOU, THEE, THY and THINE

Problem 1: Nominative/accusative
Long words for a very simple part of English. Everyone knows what is wrong with "give it to he" or "him speaks good olde english"- you use he when the person is the subject of the sentence (thing doing the verb), him when the person is the object. Likewise, you use "thou" when the person is the subject (doing the verb of the sentence) and "thee" when they are the object.
Thou saw Esau
Sitting on a see-saw
thou saw Esau
he saw thee

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"
The core of this sentence is "I compare thee"- the person you are addressing is the object, so use "thee".
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
The core is "Thou art more lovely", the person is the subject so takes "thou".

(Also, just for bonus points we say "thou art", which as far as I know is a pickup from German in which you tend to end second-person verbs with T or ST.)

Problem 2: Possessive
I must confess I've never seen the construction "thou's" before- that's what you get for applying sensible constructive rules to an irregular language. (And so irregular...)
The easiest way to figure out thy/thine is to compare it to my/mine. This won't always be correct but it's a good starting point. Mine/thine can also be used for plurals- do mine eyes deceive me?.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade

I can't find a good example for "thine" but it would be something like
That is how I would keep thee in my heart
And how I would be in thine

I know I'm slightly* overanalysing "Talk like Shakespeare day", but following a few simple rules can make your faux-olde-tyme-speakke much more convincing.

* ok a lot

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caitlinsdad (author)PKM2009-04-22

I accuseth thee, thou doth protesteth much. T'is all in gracious and glorious humour. Make merry an be consciencious in your travails.

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PKM (author)caitlinsdad2009-04-22

Indeed, sirrah, but my conscience was much conflicted by the words I did espy. On the one hand brevity be the soul of wit, but contrarily thou wouldst not hide thine light under a bushel if t'were for the betterment of another's understanding. In good grace and glorious humour, Sir M of PK

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Methinks both of those are pretty. :)

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Thank you Mistress. (Mistress correct?)

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Well, now that I caneth thank thou by the righteth title, Thank Thou Mistress. (I thanketh people a lot)

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Hahahaha. I also thanketh cousins much.

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Labot2001 (author)2009-04-22

Come tomorrow I shall be the most naughtiest of knaves. Hark! for ye shall see.

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caitlinsdad (author)Labot20012009-04-22

Hear ye, hear ye, lest thine plan goeth awry, you of a most certain fate would remaineth a Labot to me... only joketh, most noble gentleman

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Goodhart (author)2009-04-22

1 Instead of you, say thou. Instead of y'all, say thee. (This one will be hard for me! :D )

Addendum: instead of your say thy, instead of yours, say thine

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Keith-Kid (author)2009-04-21

Me thinks mine cup runneth over. Mistress, I must confess that this suggestion of thine did seem ludicrous at first, but after careful consideration, and the trust thou hast earned from me, I accepted this truth. In return for your thoughtfulness, I have dedicated you this short thought. I hope t'is enough to win your friendship. Might I compare thee to a summer's day? For thine warm embrace my soul I'd pay. A flower born to ease this wrong'd soul A flower born to make me whole. Methinks that I am born for thou Before thee I stood, and now I bow. Might I compare thee to a summer's day? If only I could take you away. If only I could make you stay. If any jackanapes have a problem with this, speak now, speak true!

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Lithium Rain (author)Keith-Kid2009-04-21

Keith, I've gotta be honest, I had no idea you felt that way about me! And that was very sweet. However, I don't think this will work out very well. It's not you, it's me...

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Gjdj3 (author)Lithium Rain2009-04-21

His correct response should have been... "Get thee to a nunnery!"

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Rock Soldier (author)Gjdj32009-04-21
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Keith-Kid (author)Gjdj32009-04-21

It flew right by me! I forgot bout that!

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Gjdj3 (author)Keith-Kid2009-04-21

haha Methinks 'tis a sign that thou mind hath slipped.

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Keith-Kid (author)Gjdj32009-04-21

Old age is catching up with me. I'm not 14 anymore! Im 15. And tis time I accept that. eth.

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Keith-Kid (author)Lithium Rain2009-04-21

Ow, my pride.....

BTW, I accidentally used "you" instead of thou or thee at the end.... Shakespeare is hard....

And if anyone (Bumpus) dares to say "that's what she said" I will punch you in the teeth and shove chopsticks up your nose.

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Lithium Rain (author)Keith-Kid2009-04-21

Only after I'm through with them!

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NachoMahma (author)Lithium Rain2009-04-21

. K-K and Lithium, reposing in arboreal splendor, ...

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