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Watchya think? Answered

The Deadly Human Spore Soon there will arise the four That billions have called folklore And the evil that our age has had in store Will finally cause the uproar And what is to come none will adore The white will knock at the door A knock that none will be able to ignore. And all shall hope for a savoir For none want to be on the plutonian shore. He will judge the corrupt and "pure" And all will hit the floor. The red will gallop and drip blood across the moor, And all man shall engage in war. And the drums of battle will roar, As the sword of combat will bring down more, Than ever imagined outside the four. The black will trot as all will implore To find which will be the cure To all the hungry, diseased, and poor. This will invoke the final score Before the Sage comes to the floor, And all will wish to god they hadn't swore. The sage will smite priest and whore, As the last horseman of the four. And he will fulfill the lore, Of plague and sickness to the core. When all is no more A white dove shall emerge and shall soar And all the peace will restore. Then shall rise the raw power of the boar. No beast, no insect, no life will deplore The ridding of the deadly human spore. Note: i dont believe in god, the four horsemen r just a device i used to invoke the destruction of man for the preservation of nature. And yes i wrote this after watching The day the earth stood still (the new version). And if your confused about the colors there the colors of the horses the four horsemen rode, each color having a meaning (go wikipedia it) Feedback pwease and ty

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Berkin (author)2009-02-23

Nice work. You're better at poetry than me!

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Kiteman (author)2009-02-05
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Goodhart (author)poems4u2009-02-05

Bump, is to keep the subject near the top of the stack so it is seen ....hopefully.

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Kiteman (author)Goodhart2009-02-06

Yes; I'm no poet, although I bash out the odd Haiku now and again, but it seemed interesting enough to warrant more of a view before it slid down the forums.

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Goodhart (author)Kiteman2009-02-06

Ah, but everyone that has some emotional response to the world around them is a poet. It just takes a little practice to be lyrical if one so desires. :-)

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Goodhart (author)Kiteman2009-02-05

Did you fear to make the first comment ? ;-)

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Goodhart (author)2009-02-05
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poems4u (author)Goodhart2009-02-05

Good interesting or bad interesting...? its a pretty vague term lol

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Goodhart (author)poems4u2009-02-05

Sorry, had to been promoting an understanding or such of the 4 horsemen, I would have meant bad interesting, but as it is, there is a bit of a dour pessimism in the poem. A few times, the rhyme was obviously forced, but otherwise, not badly done.
Still, it expressed something you wished to express, and that is a Good thing :-)

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poems4u (author)Goodhart2009-02-05

yea the rhyming was all fun and stuff until about half way through when is started to run out of rhymes lol. so yea a lot of the rhyme was out of desperation, but im wondering now if i should just rewrite it with changing rhymes instead of just aaaaaaaa maybe like aabbccddeeffgg or something along those lynes. And yea there is a lot of pessimism but when i wrote it i started to write a friendship poem for english where i just started to screw around and try to jokingly make myself look demented, and soon it evolved into this lol

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Goodhart (author)poems4u2009-02-05

One method that can make it easier to rhyme is to do so at the end of alternating sentences....let me make up a quick example. A contest is coming, For Valentine's day it is It'll get the brain juices humming Creating gifts for the Ms. :-) Sometimes only the first and third lines are rhymed or maybe only the second and forth. Poetry doesn't have to have metre and rhyme, but I like it better when it does, so I try to do both when I write seriously.

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Goodhart (author)Goodhart2009-02-05

PS: ever since I was about 16 or so I've written poems on and off. So, if need be, I can rhyme anytime, but I more often pun, just for fun. ;-)

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