i need something to laugh at NOW
Two men walk into a bar the third one ducks.
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A few days after i bought my wife a new car... she looked at the fender and saw what looked like a scratch. She rubbed on it with her finger.... then she LICKED her finger and rubbed it again. She did this so fast, that i didn't have time to stop her because I knew what it was. So i said, "It's not a scratch, it's BIRD POOP! You know, honey, I have always wondered what bird poop tastes like.... so .... how is it?"
The bartender says, "We don't serve neutrinos in here."A faster-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.
Those darned causality violating neutrinos! That's a smart bartender, because the neutrinos probably get worse once they get a few drinks in 'em. I mean will-on did get worse, before they pre-got the drinks in them... uh... I think Doug Adams was right: The worst part about time-travel is the verb tenses.;-)
A man tries to enter a bar, but the doorman stops him and says "the dress code says you need to wear a tie to come in here". The man says "I'll be back!" and goes to his car. He rumages around but all he can find is a set of jumper cables which he then ties around his neck. He returns to the bar and the doorman looks him up and down and says " OK I'll let you in this time, but you better not start anything!"
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says to the horse,
"Why the long face?"
See how long you can stare at yourself in the mirror without blinking. Then try to decide which one of you blinked first.... L
Check out some forums they can be funny. Or thisAnd this.
stupid guy say wha