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how to defeate bullys Answered

 i have changedthe direction of this forum to the prevention of people getting bullie these tips helped me they may be able help you

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2hot2hack (author)2011-06-08

do you people rember casey the punisher. i went to school with him in the interview he lied about everything

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I3uckwheat (author)2011-02-20

I would say i am the reserved violent type. My solution would be to get them to hit you first or anything of that sort and then make sure you have witnesses so you can beat the **** out of them. That is what my dad has told me, and it has worked out so far! Just make sure he is bigger or the same size as you or he could look like the victim and if you do do that you could look like the biggest looser or the hero.
But in all honesty just avoid it as much as you can.

(This is speaking from 3years of martial arts experience in Tae-Kwon-Do.

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paulcauchon (author)2011-01-31

I agree with Kiteman in not fearing embarrassment as far as telling someone in authority. I would go a bit farther than that myself though.

Stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid to tell a bully to back off and mind his (or her) own business.

Most bullies are cowards inside. Think back to the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz. As soon as Dorothy had the courage to stand up to the lion, he turned out to be harmless.

Now I am not encouraging you to pick fights or try to get into one, but I do want you to have the courage to be able to stand up to even the biggest and nastiest bully who tries to pick on you and others.

So when you're telling your teacher about the bullying problem you might want to say something like this:

"Mrs. SoandSo, I want you to be aware of the fact that my classmate, Johnny Whozit, has been bullying me for the past couple of days. I'm not going to put up with it anymore; I'm going to stick up for myself regardless of the consequence."

Become the example in your school of the one who wasn't afraid to stand up. Chances are if these are typical bullies, they've probably made quite a few enemies, so as Kiteman had mentioned, tell your friends. They'll get your back.

Remember to keep your head up and always look him in the eye, even if he's bigger than you. Now I hope it doesn't come to a fight, but if it does, give it all you got, in defense of yourself and more importantly of others.

And most importantly-- always get back up, no matter what the circumstances.

Don't be afraid; you can do it.

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Kiteman (author)paulcauchon2011-01-31

Speaking as a teacher who has had to deal with a number of such situations, taking the fight physically to the bully is risky, because the bully can too easily paint themselves as the victim of an unprovoked attack.

If this sort of thing is anywhere in your game-plan, you should at least have spoken to teachers and warned them that you felt the bully's actions were pushing you towards a violent response.

Think ahead - be aware of who would end up in trouble in a given situation.

I have heard too many ZT horror stories from US schools to be confident that the right person would get punished if things turn violent.

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The ironman (author)Kiteman2011-01-31

So what your saying is what till they are beating you a little but just as mush so you can fight back and say they started it

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paulcauchon (author)The ironman2011-01-31


What I'm saying is always try to avoid a physical fight. Try to work things out by telling the bullies to "buzz off" or "get a new hobby" or something to the effect.

In the case that the bullies end up pushing you around and a fight does erupt, I want you to stand up for yourself and not be afraid to get back up. If they push you down, stand right back up. They might get the point and just move on here.

Don't fight if you don't have to, but keep in mind that the only reason you're getting picked on is because the bullies think they can get away with it. As soon as you show them that they can't push you around like that, they'll probably move on to someone else.

Please don't skip school. Your education is MUCH more important than some bully who needs to get a life. After all, you'll get older, get smarter, go off to school and become a successful inventor or whatever you can dream of, and those bullies will still just be bullies.

Don't back down my friend!

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Kiteman (author)paulcauchon2011-02-01

+1

Sort it out through channels, do not resort to violence unless it is absolutely unavoidable. Bullies often want to push you to that point, and consider it a "win" if you try and hit them.

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Goodhart (author)Kiteman2011-02-02

Any "violence" should consist only of "avoidance violence"; i.e. any martial art based on Tai Chi Chuan. One skilled in such allows the attacker to defeat themselves, many times with out any physical contact (no need to strike or kick). But that is something that takes years of training, physically and mentally.

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paulcauchon (author)Goodhart2011-02-02

You're right Goodhart, it would take years of training to be able to master the art of Tai Chi.

Unfortunately for our friend, he may not have the time to learn such a discipline. And in these cases where time is short and stress is high, (similar to many in which I've found myself before) it remains best to keep one's head up, hands up and ready, never swing first, and always be a gentleman.

Moreover, you are absolutely correct in that Tai Chi is a much more elegant and efficient means when the particular aim is to defeat or disable an attacker. In my opinion however, defeating or disabling the attacker physically is not the aim here in the same regard as the physical attack is not the one to which he must respond.

The attack to which he must respond, and my hopes are that he already has, is the simply the bullying. I thoroughly expect, at least for the first couple of times, that if our guy ends up in a physical altercation he'll probably get walloped (no offense to you The ironman; everyone loses their first fights). However, the mere fact that he didn't immediately assume the fetal position and cower in fear is victory in itself.

Bullies terrorize us through intimidation, and our fearful response is their prize. Our goal when dealing with bullies is to lay down that fear, cowboy up, and inasmuch deny the bully of that prize.

Would to God though that we could all be disciplined in such an elegant form of full body and mind control as Tai Chi Chuan!

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Goodhart (author)paulcauchon2011-02-02

One thing is sure, most, if not all bullies are so because of extreemly low self esteem. They bully to make themselves "feel" better, and the only complete i.e. long range solution is to get him/her some help

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paulcauchon (author)Kiteman2011-01-31

I absolutely agree with Kiteman here.

Avoid a physical altercation as much as you can. Fighting is messy and chances are you're going to have to pay a visit to at least a school administrator, if not the school's nurse as well.

"Think ahead - be aware of who would end up in trouble in a given situation." <--Very much true.

My only advice is to not back down. Let people know you're not backing down. too: your friends, your teachers, the bullies, other victims of bullying....

Hopefully the bullying can be go away by a verbal confrontation alone. If it comes to a physical fight (and again, I hope it doesn't) just make sure everyone see's who threw the first punch (and it better not be you).

Even if you get walloped, you've sent the message that you won't be picked on without consequence.

You don't have to live in fear of bullies; it's okay to stick up for yourself!

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LoneWolf (author)2011-02-02

BTW- Make sure who your dealing with is a true-blooded bully. A lot of people mistake teasing for bullying. There's a big difference between the two, it's pretty easy to tell the difference so make sure their a true bully. The last thing you wanna do is lose your religion every time somebody pokes fun at you. The best thing to do in if they are just teasing you is to laugh and take it good humoredly, you can tease them back also (of course you wannna be careful how you approach that).

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Kiteman (author)LoneWolf2011-02-02

Bullying has a two-part definition:

> It is something done to(wards) you that upsets you.

> It is repeated.

Even if the perpetrator(s) only mean it in fun, if their actions cause upset (emotional as well as physical), and they repeat them, then they are bullies.

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LoneWolf (author)Kiteman2011-02-02

Yes, I simply meant that I didn't want someone to (with good intentions) to tease him and him respond violently, if he did that then he would get in trouble.

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LoneWolf (author)2011-02-02

I'm sure someone has said this already, but I haven't read all the posts so....

Anyway, the best thing to do is to make a stand for yourself, most bullies (at least - the majority I've dealt with) will back down, especially if their buddies aren't around. And if they don't back down, don't be afraid to get into a fight. If you can - make sure he throws the first punches cause' then you can argue you fought out of self defence. It's not to hard to find some instructables in here on throwing punches and other fighting techniques. Unlike how hollywood portrays it, often it only takes one or two well placed punches to end a fight.

But whatever you do, DON'T BACK DOWN... if they know your not gonna take a stand there just gonna keep targeting you.

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The ironman (author)2011-01-31

It will blow over because the same sort of thing happened to my best friend and it worked for him plus the bullys are the whole class so by wed today's mon something else should take there mind off me because they are not the brightest people in the world if you now what I mean so if I ask my parents they should let me get a day off school

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The ironman (author)2011-01-31

What I really need is a day off school because in my school things like this easily blowover

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Kiteman (author)The ironman2011-01-31

That's running away.

Will the bully stop if they realise they can make you skip school to avoid them?

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Kiteman (author)2011-01-31

Wherever you are being bullied, the best option is to tell somebody in authority.

Parent, employer, teacher... tell them.

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The ironman (author)Kiteman2011-01-31
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Kiteman (author)The ironman2011-01-31

You're not the first or only person to be bullied.

No matter how old or strong you are, you can still be a victim.

I assume this is at school? You don't have to tell in class, or even in person - write down what has been going on, and give it to a member of staff you trust. Just hand it to them, and wait while they read it.

Tell your parents, ask their advice and help.

Tell your friends, ask them to watch your back.

I know it's hard, I've been there, but in the long run it is always better to tell somebody what you are going through.

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