**NOTE THIS IS ILLEGAL IN THE UNITED STATES** I am not endorsing this in any way, but they do sell cellphone jammers that create enough interference to take out a small room and they are cheap, like $27.08 in some places. They really do work but it violates FCC regulations. I'm not going to link but it's only a couple links down on a search engine. Your average cell phone isn't nearly powerful enough to create interference and they are designed that way. If you can find a high-powered amplifier for an external antenna, supposing your phone has a port, many older ones do. you might be able to rig something up. A home manufactured device would probably be a bit bulky to discretely carry around though.
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You could try this...
I LOVE Dom Joly's humour!! Thanks for putting that up!
Example: "Hello? Patrick it's (Me) - help!. I'm in the elevator again, people are talking about me (whisper) again, I'm going to flip again... we're at.. oh God the ()-floor, I'm not going to make it to the ()th, it's going to get bloody again - help me!" - When people go quiet, take deep breaths repeatedly, clutching the phone like a knife... L
. Start singing.
That's what I always did. I find "Teenage Lobotomy" at top volume gets the point across very effectively.
I won't help you break a federal law. But you could do other things. Get an old WW2 "handheld" walkie talkie and pretend to have conversations on that with the antenna extended whipping it around a lot. Like L said shout into your phone, But loudly complain about the terrible phone reception. Get a "fart" machine keychain and make noises behind the other person's back. Grab your crotch and dance back and forth saying "I ain't gonna make it". It's impossible to pay attention to a conversation when someone's doing that. Or pretend you're about to vomit. Caution, some people on seeing you do this may actually vomit. Make and laminate a sign. "Caution cell phone use inside this elevation may cause brake failure and a rapid decent with a sudden stop". Stick that on the wall and see what happens. Take out your cell phone and call someone and talk loudly describing the other people using their cell phones. Take photos and email them your friends.
Shout into the phone like a crazy dangerous person. L