Introduction: 75 Things to Do While Driving
75 things to do in a car
1. Fake carsickness.
2. Lean back in your seat on the person behind you.
3. Ask. Are we there yet? Every 5 Minutes.
4. Have arguments with someone in the car.
5. Stick your head out the window like a dog.
6. Sing with the radio loudly even if you don’t know the words.
7. Actually get carsick.
8. Play with every gadget you find in the car.
9. Have belching contests.
10. Accelerate and brake every 4 seconds.
11. Count to 10 before going at a stop sign.
12. Run a yellow light but change your mind while you still can.
13. Drive down the left turn lane.
14. Slow down when you see a sign that says, “bridge may be icy,” especially in the dead of summer.
15. Stop at railroad crossings.
16. Drive with your feet.
17. Hit the gas and the brake at the same time.
18. Drive 46 mph on the expressway.
19. In the fast lane.
20. See how far across the seats you can spit breath mints before you get yelled at.
21. Drive with a Slurpee in one hand a cigarette in the other while trying to balance 5 McDonald meals on your left leg.
22. Go from 60 to 0 every thirty seconds, just to see if you can cause a 5-car (or more) pileup.
23. Never use your blinkers.
24. On a 2-lane road, form a roadblock as you drive parallel to a semi going 20.
25. While on the expressway, grab the shifter and ask, “What does the ‘R’ stand for?”
26. And for EXTRA fun, try it!
27. Gargle mouthwash while driving.
28. Cross over the median on a 4-lane expressway, just to get over to the “right” exit.
29. Try to eat the steering wheel.
30. Burn everyone with the cigarette lighter in the car.
31. Open and close the glove box continually until someone hits you.
32. Every time you pass a car, yell “Hi!”
33. Count the number of purple Corvettes you see in your driving adventures.
34. Honk your horn for fun.
35. Play music with your horn, or rig it to play a tune.
36. Sit in the driver’s seat, but insist some else drives.
37. Talk on the phone.
38. Dial the number of the passenger’s cellular phone.
39. Stop on an entrance ramp of the expressway.
40. Shift into park.
41. Leave the emergency flashers on and leave the car.
42. Use the windshield wipers just so you can rock with the rhythm.
43. And always, ALWAYS, drive with your eyes closed. (And clasp your hands over your ears singing, “lalala–I can’t hear you~”
44. Slow down on acceleration ramps and speed up on deceleration ones.
45. Lose your book the day before a test.
46. Forget what the word “velocitation” means.
47. Drive up the road with half of your muffler hanging off.
48. As a pedestrian, ALWAYS run across highways and expressways.
49. Stomp on the pedals just to hear the different sounds they make.
50. Combine these sounds with various beeps, clicks, and snaps from other parts of the car and you could be a one-man (or woman) orchestra.
51. New game: Put the car in Drive and leave the car. You and your passenger must pick a spot, and whichever the car rolls closest to wins. The loser must chase the car.
52. Drive on runways in airports.
53. Constantly play with your mirrors; see if you can get your rear-view mirror to turn 360 degrees.
54. Cross double-yellow lines.
55. NEVER EVER turn right on red.
56. Honk your horn at geese and see if they honk back.
57. Turn left from the right turn lane.
58. Turn right from the left turn lane.
59. When entering a store, put your hazard lights on just so you can park in front of the store.
60. Play Muzak so loud that the cars next to you vibrate.
61. When stopped at a red light, pretend to answer your cell phone and then hand it to the person in the car next to you and say, “It’s for you.”
62. See how many street-hockey nets you can demolish in an hour.
63. Back into an angular parking spot.
64. Try to put CDs in your car’s tape player.
65. Hit pedestrians as you try to parallel park.
66. In a residential area, pretend you are a race-car driver and gun it.
67. When people honk at you, cut them off.
68. If they try to cut YOU off, pull in front of them and come to a complete stop.
69. Throw your coffee out the window during rush hour.
70. Spit cherry pits out your window.
71. Lock your keys inside your car.
72. While it is running.
73. Drive before you start Driver’s Training.
74. Have sulfuric acid sprayed in your eyes while trying to jump-start your car.
75. If a backseat driver is in the car, yank off the steering wheel and say, “HERE. YOU DRIVE.”
Bonus by A-Nony-Mus:
Pull to the front of the line when the light is red.
Drive on Sidewalk when road is too busy.