AWESOME BATCH FILE!!!!!!! Pull This on Friends!!

by nova

127K621

Intro: AWESOME BATCH FILE!!!!!!! Pull This on Friends!!

Hello, this is my second instructable, (first one sucked sooo much!) and it will be on a very fun interactive batch file, accusing whomever opens it of lying, asking many questions, then pretending to delete all critical files on the computer. (doesn't actually happen) this is very amusing stuff. it will be downloadable on the last step of my instructable, thank you very much!!! And please provide constructive criticism!!!

STEP 1: The Beggining! (dramatic Music)

Hello again, lets get to business!  ok, first open notepad and type this, or copy and paste it (download easiest):



@echo off

:lolipop
echo.
echo Hello there, how are you?
set /p feeling=
if %feeling%== bad goto sad
if %feeling%== good goto lol
goto lolipop

:lol
echo.
echo good,now what is you're name?
set /p name=
echo That's a great name %name%!!! I love it!!
echo, anyways, time to get serious %name%, what is your favorite team?
set /p team=

echo what is your fave internet browser?
set /p browser=
goto fun

:fun
echo.
echo you lied to me %name%, you don't love %team% or %browser%!!! now you will pay!!!
goto shutdown

:shutdown
echo.
echo I will now proceed to delete all your computers critical files.
echo ready?
set /p answer=
if %answer%==yes goto delete
if %answer%==no goto sad2

:sad
echo.
echo Sorry to hear that buddy. :'(
goto lol

:delete
color 0D
echo.
echo ok,chow!!!
echo {0A}%random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%
goto random

:random
color 0A
echo.
echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%
goto werdy 

:sad2
echo.
echo too bad, you lied to me!!! TTYL!!!
echo i will talk to you soon right?
set /p what=
if %what%==yes goto delete
if %what%==no goto delete
goto delete

:werdy
color 2A
echo.
echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%  %random%
goto random




ok,once you've got that, go to the next step, where i will explain some of this.

STEP 2: The Descriptions!

okay, so all @echo off does is prevent the file from showing all the codes, try the file without it and see what happens. then, when echo is typed, it is telling the file to show anything in the rest of that line, this is critical! goto tells the file to go to any other part of the file. set /p sets a variable, very useful insert. i am not a pro at all of this yet but am getting quite close, so if there are some pro's here, feel free to correct me, PLEASE COMMENT ON THESE DESCRIPTIONS!!!!!!!! the rest is more complicated and can be explained on a proper tutorial. please give constructive criticism! thank you for reading! then just rename it,change the representing photo if you would like, then just sit back and watch. next step, closing and download!

STEP 3: Closing and Download!!!

thank you very much for reading this instructable, hope you enjoyed this!! and don't worry, there will be more, fake viruses, executive files, you name it!!! Chow!!!

20 Comments

vectronboy2000 4 years ago

Hey just saying, but LOL you could add a shutdown command with a timeout so it won't trigger until it is time if you want to be really evil.............and then the next time they try to use the computer it would be considered utterly harmless because there would be no file damage or otherwise dealt. In other words they will just find out to never use the file again. You could even hide Internet Explorer somewhere and put that in its place with an Internet Explorer icon and using a bat to exe converter you can even make sure they can't edit the file. Leave a note somewhere on the desktop though so they can have an attempt to save themselves and find the real Internet Explorer.

nzsammy 14 years ago

sorry to say but this "Batch" file is really buggy.

1. No options to choose from (makes it easier to get user to type predictable things)

2. If the user doesn't type any of your options there is no where defined label to goto (prevents unexpected events or crashes)

3. II had the program looping with the same values if i didn't enter an answer, (add a set variables to zero argument)

You have the basics down and the structure is correct, I have written batch files for Fighting fantasy books and i give users only the options that i choose if they enter anything else it returns them to the question till they get it right.

nova 14 years ago

 yeah, i just didn't want to make it so they would get annoyed and close it, but i guess could do a rundll keyboard disable code for the duration of the file, thanks for the tips and i will fix the file up!!! i will check out your files too! 
thanks nzsammy!!! 

nova 14 years ago

 rundll mouse disable i mean

nova 14 years ago

btw, would you like to do a collaboration? on a large batch file?

Aka HomeA 8 years ago

Cool down bro! I've got you covered.

Type this new code instead of the old one:

@echo off

:lolipop

echo.

echo Hello there, how are you?

set /p feeling=

if %feeling%== bad goto sad

if %feeling%== not good goto sad

if %feeling%== good goto lol

if %feeling%== fine goto lol

if %feeling%== ok goto lol

if %feeling%== awesome goto lol

if %feeling%== nice goto lol

if %feeling%== great goto lol

if %feeling%== fun goto lol

goto lolipop

:lol

echo.

echo good,now what is you're name?

set /p name=

echo That's a great name %name%!!! I love it!!

echo, anyways, time to get serious %name%, what is your favorite team?

set /p team=

echo what is your fave internet browser?

set /p browser=

goto fun

:fun

echo.

echo you lied to me %name%, you don't love %team% or %browser%!!! now you will pay!!!

goto shutdown

:shutdown

echo.

echo I will now proceed to delete all your computers critical files.

echo ready?

set /p answer=

if %answer%==yes goto delete

if %answer%==no goto sad2

:sad

echo.

echo Sorry to hear that buddy. :'(

goto lol

:delete

color 0D

echo.

echo ok,chow!!!

echo {0A}%random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

:random

color 0A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto werdy

:sad2

echo.

echo too bad, you lied to me!!! TTYL!!!

echo i will talk to you soon right?

set /p what=

if %what%==yes goto delete

if %what%==no goto delete

goto delete

:werdy

color 2A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

rahulbumwatt 14 years ago

 I agree, it's a good file nut the main thing that holds it back is what if someone types "fine" or "OK"?

Aka HomeA 8 years ago

Cool down bro! I've got you covered.

Type this new code instead of the old one:

@echo off

:lolipop

echo.

echo Hello there, how are you?

set /p feeling=

if %feeling%== bad goto sad

if %feeling%== not good goto sad

if %feeling%== good goto lol

if %feeling%== fine goto lol

if %feeling%== ok goto lol

if %feeling%== awesome goto lol

if %feeling%== nice goto lol

if %feeling%== great goto lol

if %feeling%== fun goto lol

goto lolipop

:lol

echo.

echo good,now what is you're name?

set /p name=

echo That's a great name %name%!!! I love it!!

echo, anyways, time to get serious %name%, what is your favorite team?

set /p team=

echo what is your fave internet browser?

set /p browser=

goto fun

:fun

echo.

echo you lied to me %name%, you don't love %team% or %browser%!!! now you will pay!!!

goto shutdown

:shutdown

echo.

echo I will now proceed to delete all your computers critical files.

echo ready?

set /p answer=

if %answer%==yes goto delete

if %answer%==no goto sad2

:sad

echo.

echo Sorry to hear that buddy. :'(

goto lol

:delete

color 0D

echo.

echo ok,chow!!!

echo {0A}%random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

:random

color 0A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto werdy

:sad2

echo.

echo too bad, you lied to me!!! TTYL!!!

echo i will talk to you soon right?

set /p what=

if %what%==yes goto delete

if %what%==no goto delete

goto delete

:werdy

color 2A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

Aka HomeA 8 years ago

Cool down bro! I've got you covered.

Type this new code instead of the old one:

@echo off

:lolipop

echo.

echo Hello there, how are you?

set /p feeling=

if %feeling%== bad goto sad

if %feeling%== not good goto sad

if %feeling%== good goto lol

if %feeling%== fine goto lol

if %feeling%== ok goto lol

if %feeling%== awesome goto lol

if %feeling%== nice goto lol

if %feeling%== great goto lol

if %feeling%== fun goto lol

goto lolipop

:lol

echo.

echo good,now what is you're name?

set /p name=

echo That's a great name %name%!!! I love it!!

echo, anyways, time to get serious %name%, what is your favorite team?

set /p team=

echo what is your fave internet browser?

set /p browser=

goto fun

:fun

echo.

echo you lied to me %name%, you don't love %team% or %browser%!!! now you will pay!!!

goto shutdown

:shutdown

echo.

echo I will now proceed to delete all your computers critical files.

echo ready?

set /p answer=

if %answer%==yes goto delete

if %answer%==no goto sad2

:sad

echo.

echo Sorry to hear that buddy. :'(

goto lol

:delete

color 0D

echo.

echo ok,chow!!!

echo {0A}%random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

:random

color 0A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto werdy

:sad2

echo.

echo too bad, you lied to me!!! TTYL!!!

echo i will talk to you soon right?

set /p what=

if %what%==yes goto delete

if %what%==no goto delete

goto delete

:werdy

color 2A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

nova 14 years ago

 if you don't type what is says, it asks you agaain until you say good or bad, i'm also gonna write in a mouse disable code for the duration of the file so they can't close it.

shadow_69_91 14 years ago

 The can stil get rid of it with task manager. so I suggest killing that process as well. I like your idea though.

nzsammy 14 years ago

In the question that you ask, you give the valid options (Y/N, Red,Blue, etc) for the cases where you want to direct them to one place or another. if they answer with anything else the program directs them back to the question.

If you ask them for their name it just gets stored as a value

nova 14 years ago

 thats right

Aka HomeA 8 years ago

Cool down bro! I've got you covered.

Type this new code instead of the old one:

@echo off

:lolipop

echo.

echo Hello there, how are you?

set /p feeling=

if %feeling%== bad goto sad

if %feeling%== not good goto sad

if %feeling%== good goto lol

if %feeling%== fine goto lol

if %feeling%== ok goto lol

if %feeling%== awesome goto lol

if %feeling%== nice goto lol

if %feeling%== great goto lol

if %feeling%== fun goto lol

goto lolipop

:lol

echo.

echo good,now what is you're name?

set /p name=

echo That's a great name %name%!!! I love it!!

echo, anyways, time to get serious %name%, what is your favorite team?

set /p team=

echo what is your fave internet browser?

set /p browser=

goto fun

:fun

echo.

echo you lied to me %name%, you don't love %team% or %browser%!!! now you will pay!!!

goto shutdown

:shutdown

echo.

echo I will now proceed to delete all your computers critical files.

echo ready?

set /p answer=

if %answer%==yes goto delete

if %answer%==no goto sad2

:sad

echo.

echo Sorry to hear that buddy. :'(

goto lol

:delete

color 0D

echo.

echo ok,chow!!!

echo {0A}%random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

:random

color 0A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto werdy

:sad2

echo.

echo too bad, you lied to me!!! TTYL!!!

echo i will talk to you soon right?

set /p what=

if %what%==yes goto delete

if %what%==no goto delete

goto delete

:werdy

color 2A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

BubbaSkywalker 7 years ago

Quick question, does anyone know the command to run fullscreen and disable the mouse and keyboard until needed?

Aka HomeA 8 years ago

Some of you have complained about the file being annoying becoz you have to type specific stuff. for you guys there is another code! Copy the stuff below and follow the steps shown above:

@echo off

:lolipop

echo.

echo Hello there, how are you?

set /p feeling=

if %feeling%== bad goto sad

if %feeling%== not good goto sad

if %feeling%== good goto lol

if %feeling%== fine goto lol

if %feeling%== ok goto lol

if %feeling%== awesome goto lol

if %feeling%== nice goto lol

if %feeling%== great goto lol

if %feeling%== fun goto lol

goto lolipop

:lol

echo.

echo good,now what is you're name?

set /p name=

echo That's a great name %name%!!! I love it!!

echo, anyways, time to get serious %name%, what is your favorite team?

set /p team=

echo what is your fave internet browser?

set /p browser=

goto fun

:fun

echo.

echo you lied to me %name%, you don't love %team% or %browser%!!! now you will pay!!!

goto shutdown

:shutdown

echo.

echo I will now proceed to delete all your computers critical files.

echo ready?

set /p answer=

if %answer%==yes goto delete

if %answer%==no goto sad2

:sad

echo.

echo Sorry to hear that buddy. :'(

goto lol

:delete

color 0D

echo.

echo ok,chow!!!

echo {0A}%random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

:random

color 0A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto werdy

:sad2

echo.

echo too bad, you lied to me!!! TTYL!!!

echo i will talk to you soon right?

set /p what=

if %what%==yes goto delete

if %what%==no goto delete

goto delete

:werdy

color 2A

echo.

echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random%

goto random

VinayakL1 8 years ago

Awesome Buddy!!!!!!!!!!

nova 14 years ago

deal! :D