Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet. - H. L. Mencken

It probably shouldn't be tinkered with... but...

Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose. - Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Bettlejuice. You can't drink only one, but you can't drink more than three.

Step 1: A Little Gasoline... Blowtorch... No Problem

It's showtime! I'll eat anything you want me to eat, I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow, So, come on down and I'll chew on a dog! - Beetlejuice

2 parts gin
1 part beet juice
1 part dry vermouth
a large splash of olive juice
two olives

Step 2: Too Cold

Ice is back I got a brand new invention. - Vanilla Ice

Fill your cocktail mixer with ice.

Step 3: Gin

I feel wonderful and sad. It's the gin -  Stephen Beresford, The Last of the Haussmans

Add 2 parts gin.

Step 4: Beetles

The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious... The beet is the melancholy vegetable, the one most willing to suffer. - Tom Robbins

Add 1 part beet juice.

Step 5: Vermouth

This was not a hallucination. This was real. We all just experienced a super-powerful, paranormal experience, and it was real. - Delia

Add one part dry vermouth.

Step 6: Let's Get Dirty

My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room. - Lydia

Add a splash of olive juice.

Step 7: Shake, Shake, Shake Senora... or Stir

Senora, she's a sensation
The reason for aviation
And fellas, you got to watch it
When she wind up, she bottom, she go like a rocket - Harry Belafonte

Shake.

Or... Stir.

Step 8: Ugh. Deliver Me From L.L. Bean.

Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together. - Elizabeth Taylor

Pour
Garnish with olives